# Get me Johnny Depp! "Sir, we can't afford Johnny Depp." THEN GET ME SKEET ULRICH! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 14, 2010, 8:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472 "2010-03-14T20:08:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![astorian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ad7895/32.png) [@astorian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astorian)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/21 "2010-03-15T13:42:03Z")
I’m remembering Chris Rock’s Oscar night monologue from a few years ago: "There are really only a handful of bankable stars in Hollywood. So, if you want Tom Cruise, and all you can get is Jude Law? Wait! If you want Russell Crowe, and all you can get is Colin Farrell? Wait! If you want Denzel Washington, and all you can get is me? Wait!" ---
**Author:** ![Sam\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Sam\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sam_Stone)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/22 "2010-03-15T14:11:30Z")
> [@BMax](#): > > John Saxon is the poor man’s Michael Ironsides is the poor man’s Jack Nicholson. I’d say Michael Ironsides was the poor man’s John Saxon, then John Saxon became the poor man’s Michael Ironsides. Have any other actors flipped roles like that? I’m thinking Christian Slater might have. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 3:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/23 "2010-03-15T15:39:13Z")
> [@Student\_Driver](#): > > Nothing to add to the thread, but man, I love the thread title. I can picture a casting director and assistant in a gritty scene with lots of zooms and cuts torn from _24_, shouting those lines. Hehe, thank you, thank you. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/24 "2010-03-15T15:46:22Z")
Terrence Howard just found out he is the poor mans Don Cheadle. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/25 "2010-03-15T15:57:06Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Terrence Howard just found out he is the poor mans Don Cheadle. Really, how? I always thought of Don Cheadle as the poor man’s Don Cheadle and Terrence Howard as the poor man’s Terrence Howard. Two of the most overrated actors working today. I haven’t seen Hotel Rwanda yet but one good performance won’t necessarily change my mind. ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/26 "2010-03-15T16:00:22Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Really, how? > > I always thought of Don Cheadle as the poor man’s Don Cheadle and Terrence Howard as the poor man’s Terrence Howard. Two of the most overrated actors working today. > > I haven’t seen Hotel Rwanda yet but one good performance won’t necessarily change my mind. Recasting of Iron Man, but you have a point. Howard didn’t get rehired because he wanted too much money. So its possible that Cheadle didn’t want as much money. ---
**Author:** ![Snowboarder\_Bo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/snowboarder_bo/32/229_2.png) [@Snowboarder\_Bo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snowboarder_Bo)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/27 "2010-03-15T16:09:11Z")
I thought _Balls Of Fury_ was a fun enough movie, but I could never shake the feeling that the producers had the same exchange as the thread title, only the names were Jack Black and Dan Fogler. Fogler was funny, don’t get me wrong, but he did kind of come off as a poor man’s Jack Black. ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/28 "2010-03-15T19:24:54Z")
When I watched the movie _The Rocker_ I kept thinking that they couldn’t talk Will Ferrell into the role so they got Rainn Wilson. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/29 "2010-03-15T19:45:57Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > When I watched the movie _The Rocker_ I kept thinking that they couldn’t talk Will Ferrell into the role so they got Rainn Wilson. Or (again) Jack Black. ---
**Author:** ![wierdaaron](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/eada6e/32.png) [@wierdaaron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wierdaaron)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/30 "2010-03-15T19:59:36Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > I heard some new actor the other day who had Christian Slater’s voice. Who was that? Chris Pine (Kirk from the new Star Trek) can sound a bit like him at times. I don’t know how to describe Slater’s voice, except that everything sounds like it’s said through slightly-clenched teeth, but I likes it. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/31 "2010-03-15T20:04:49Z")
> [@](#): > > I’d say Michael Ironsides was the poor man’s John Saxon, then John Saxon became the poor man’s Michael Ironsides. > > Have any other actors flipped roles like that? Humphrey Bogart used to get the scripts George Raft rejected. Then George Raft started getting the scripts Humphrey Bogart rejected. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/32 "2010-03-15T20:10:34Z")
> [@](#): > > Really, how? > > I always thought of Don Cheadle as the poor man’s Don Cheadle and Terrence Howard as the poor man’s Terrence Howard. Two of the most overrated actors working today. > > I haven’t seen Hotel Rwanda yet but one good performance won’t necessarily change my mind. They’re both in the same general casting category: black actors in their thirties who can do lead roles in minor films or strong supporting roles in major films. But Cheadle’s definitely on top over Howard. His prestige roles have been more prestigious and his money roles have made more money. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/33 "2010-03-15T20:15:40Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > But Cheadle’s definitely on top over Howard. Oh, definitely. Howard flat-out sucks IMO. Cheadle is merely good, rather than being GRRRREAT like a lot of people think he is. Again, IMO. He probably suffers unfairly in my eyes for choosing movies I don’t really like and reminding me of Tim Meadows. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/34 "2010-03-15T21:27:14Z")
Joseph Gordon-Levitt a poor man’s Heath Ledger? (Though he’s earning his chops with critics). ---
**Author:** ![voguevixen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b5ac83/32.png) [@voguevixen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/voguevixen)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/35 "2010-03-15T22:07:06Z")
I once heard Jeff Daniels described as “the guy you get when you can’t get Jeff Bridges.” ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/36 "2010-03-15T22:33:09Z")
I think Dennis Quaid is the poor man’s Harrison Ford. Though, sadly, Harrison Ford is now the poor man’s Harrison Ford. If you can’t get any one of [Rhys Ifans](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0406975/), [Ewen Bremner](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0001971/), [Mackenzie Crook](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0188871/), or [Matt King](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0455057/), then just get another. They’re all interchangeable. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/37 "2010-03-15T22:51:35Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Joseph Gordon-Levitt a poor man’s Heath Ledger? (Though he’s earning his chops with critics). I’m not sure there’s any comparison between these two. Levitt has made clear he’s not interested in just doing big bucks movies and that’s why he doesn’t, he does the low key, critically acclaimed movies instead (and does so extremely well). I don’t see how this compares to Ledger who was a very conventional actor in the respect that he wanted to go on to do bigger roles in bigger movies (and yes his final one was very very good). Why would Levitt be a replacement for Ledger when they don’t do the same films? ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [March 15, 2010, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/38 "2010-03-15T23:17:18Z")
I was going to say Tobey Maguire and Jake Gyllenhall, but I think they’re more interchangeable rather than one of them being the poor man’s other one. I didn’t see that movie that they were in together recently, but the first time I saw the trailer it really messed me up. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 12:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/39 "2010-03-16T00:09:44Z")
> [@GuanoLad](#): > > I think Dennis Quaid is the poor man’s Harrison Ford. Though, sadly, Harrison Ford is now the poor man’s Harrison Ford. Also, for a time in the late 80s, Dennis Quaid was a slightly cheaper Kevin Costner. Then Costner’s career went stratospheric with \*\*Dances With Wolves \*\*while Quaid’s stalled. Right now, however, Quaid’s standing is probably better than Costner’s. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2010, 12:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472/40 "2010-03-16T00:21:33Z")
> [@Illuminatiprimus](#): > > I’m not sure there’s any comparison between these two. Levitt has made clear he’s not interested in just doing big bucks movies and that’s why he doesn’t, he does the low key, critically acclaimed movies instead (and does so extremely well). I don’t see how this compares to Ledger who was a very conventional actor in the respect that he wanted to go on to do bigger roles in bigger movies (and yes his final one was very very good). Why would Levitt be a replacement for Ledger when they don’t do the same films? I’ve seen this mentioned in a lot of different places on the net, but apparently a bunch of people believe Ledger and Levitt look EXACTLY alike. I don’t see it, but there you go. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-me-johnny-depp-sir-we-cant-afford-johnny-depp-then-get-me-skeet-ulrich/532472.md?page=3)