# GET OFF MY SIDEWALK, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 16, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775 "2001-11-16T18:29:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/1 "2001-11-16T18:29:16Z")
**_Gah!_ TWICE** today I’ve had to deal with **motor vehicles** on the **goddamn sidewalk** right where I have to walk, and I’m fucking sick of it! The first time I’m walking quietly along in front of the Leacock building when this big van swerves in front of me, right onto the sidewalk alongside the building. There wasn’t enough space to walk around it on the sidewalk so I was forced onto the road, _where it should have been!_ Now this Nobel laureate didn’t seem to be responding to an emergency or loading or unloading a disabled person, so I can only conclude that he was being a _total inconsiderate motherfucking piece of shit!_ Having walked around this prize specimen, I continued my route towards the Birks building, when suddenly AUGH there comes a fucking leaf blower truck behind me! I’m totally trapped against a fence! _¿¡Jesús y María, hombre, qué madre estás haciendo!?_ So after _roaring up behind me on the fucking sidewalk in a motor vehicle and trapping me and scaring the living shit out of me,_ this guy slows down long enough to let me run away, and gives me this little “don’t worry, it’s OK” wave. _NO IT’S NOT OK, YOU ASS, YOU’VE JUST GIVEN ME A PANIC ATTACK!_ You do _not_ get to _FORGIVE_ me for being a _pedestrian_ on a _sidewalk_ in front of _ **your motorized ass, you prick** _! Gaaaahhhh! This sonofabitch literally gave me a classic panic attack - shaky hands, fits of rage (as witness), inability to concentrate - I barely heard one thing the TA said in my phonology conference - and it’s all because I have the temerity to use my campus sidewalks for their intended purpose - that would be WALKING, rather than DRIVING ON THEM PLAYING HUNT-THE-PEDESTRIAN! It’s not enough that the entire _city is designed expressly for your benefit, IS IT?_ It’s not enough that you motherfucking sonsabitching pieces of horseshit have access to _SIX-METRE-WIDE STRETCHES OF PAVEMENT EXPRESSLY FOR YOUR USE, **IS IT?** _ I have this one little metre-wide path where it’s supposed to be safe for me to walk and you have to **TAKE THAT UP TOO?** _DRIVE OFF THE FUCKING CHAMPLAIN BRIDGE, YOU MOTHERFUCKERS! **THE SIDEWALK IS FOR WALKING!!!** _ [sub]…calm blue ocean. calm blue ocean. calm blue ocean. calm blue ocean. …[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 6:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/2 "2001-11-16T18:42:48Z")
There **is** a reason it isn’t called the side_drive_ . . . Luckily, where I live at school the roads are too small and shitty to allow anything but maintenance vehicles, else I’m pretty sure some smartguy would park his car AT his (school) apartment OR in the middle of the damn street. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/3 "2001-11-16T18:51:39Z")
Whatever you do, don’t ever go to Paris. They’ve got these guys on 125CC motorbikes equipped with vacuum cleaners (!) that hurtle down the sidewalks sucking up dog crap. Yeah, OK, they clear up the poo, but I’ve nearly gotten run over about ten times by those maniacs. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 7:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/4 "2001-11-16T19:03:41Z")
So, the first two hits both missed, huh? Somebody’s not getting his money’s worth… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anonymous\_Coward](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/94ad74/32.png) [@Anonymous\_Coward](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anonymous_Coward)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/5 "2001-11-16T19:08:08Z")
Quebec drivers… 'nuff said. 😃 Seriously, when I drive through Montreal I’m constantly being amazed/scared/mortified/amused by some drivers. I plan my entire trip from Ottawa to the east coast so that I don’t hit Montreal during rush hour. It’s just too wild there for this country boy… ---
**Author:** ![Why\_A\_Duck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/13edae/32.png) [@Why\_A\_Duck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Why_A_Duck)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/6 "2001-11-16T19:16:28Z")
Sheesh, the guy hits 6000 posts and he thinks he owns the fucking sidewalk 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Skywatcher](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skywatcher/32/254_2.png) [@Skywatcher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skywatcher)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/7 "2001-11-16T20:11:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\ ***_Gah!_ TWICE** today I’ve had to deal with **motor vehicles** on the **goddamn sidewalk** right where I have to walk, and I’m fucking sick of it! > > The first time I’m walking quietly along in front of the Leacock building when this big van swerves in front of me, right onto the sidewalk alongside the building. There wasn’t enough space to walk around it on the sidewalk so I was forced onto the road, _where it should have been!_ Now this Nobel laureate didn’t seem to be responding to an emergency or loading or unloading a disabled person, so I can only conclude that he was being a _total inconsiderate motherfucking piece of shit!_\*\* Naw, that was just **mjolley** avoiding a cyclist. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [November 16, 2001, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/8 "2001-11-16T23:51:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*\*matt\_mcl: \*\* Having walked around this prize specimen, I continued my route towards the Birks building, when suddenly AUGH there comes a fucking leaf blower truck behind me! Maybe he was over on a work-visa from Britain and was confused by instructions to “clear the [pavement](http://dictionary.cambridge.org/define.asp?key=pavement*1+0).” Happens all the time. ---
**Author:** ![broys](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/5e9695/32.png) [@broys](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/broys)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2001, 2:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/9 "2001-11-17T02:28:00Z")
If you don’t like how I drive, STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![bagkitty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7ab992/32.png) [@bagkitty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bagkitty)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2001, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/10 "2001-11-17T04:48:40Z")
Matt, Matt, Matt… calm down and think of winter… then the tracked mini-bulldozer snow removals guys will be trying to run you down. And you should have used the tunnel under the Arts building… then taken the stairs in front of McConnell (they very seldom drive down those). 🙂 see ya in winnipeg ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2001, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/11 "2001-11-17T04:53:13Z")
Actually, I was in the little fence area between the doors of Dawson Hall and the McConnell steps. Nothing I could do; trapped like a rat. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![MoodIndigo1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e8c25b/32.png) [@MoodIndigo1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MoodIndigo1)\ **Post date:** [November 17, 2001, 5:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-off-my-sidewalk-you-motherfuckers/93775/12 "2001-11-17T05:08:51Z")
Quebec drivers are polite, courteous snails compared to drivers in Rome. I have driven in Montreal for years, driven in Paris as cool as a “concombre”, but in Rome, I met my Waterloo. At one point as I had been going around in circles unable to change lanes, and faced the possibility of an eternity of motion sickness, I put on my emergency flashing lights, stopped, and burst into tears. A policeman stopped traffic on God knows how many lanes and let me through. I think the tears did it. Those Italians drive like demons but they are such gentlemen when it comes to wailing women.