# Get out of there, you little shit **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [September 29, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687 "2004-09-29T17:23:56Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/1 "2004-09-29T17:23:56Z")
In lieu of posting a more useful thread… What is up with little shits that won’t come out? You know, a small strip of shit that hangs at the edge of your asshole and just peeks out a little for a look around, but refuses to take the plunge? Trying to wipe it away just smears it around. And it won’t go back in. So I sit there for hours, clenching and unclenching, wiggling like a fucking hula dancer trying to shake the damn thing free, but it won’t budge. Fuck it. Next time, I’m bringing an ice cream scoop. (I may not have convinced you of the direness of the situation, but I can guarantee you that you will never ask me to serve you ice cream.) On a related note, what’s up with this situation? You finish pooping. You wipe. You zip up. You buckle up. You wash. You dry. You begin to head out the door. Suddenly, your bowel says “Yo pal, we’re not done yet. Get back in there and do the job right.” Sometime it happens to me two or three times in what should have been one sitting. I hate that! ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/2 "2004-09-29T17:31:08Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > (I may not have convinced you of the direness of the situation, but I can guarantee you that you will never ask me to serve you ice cream.) Damn straight. Eww! ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/3 "2004-09-29T17:35:09Z")
A TMI, for Og’s sake, a TMI. ::fans self:: ---
**Author:** ![SteveG1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bb73d2/32.png) [@SteveG1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SteveG1)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/4 "2004-09-29T17:36:12Z")
No shit. Really. I hate it when that happens. Stand sit stand sit, it makes me so mad I could just shit. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/5 "2004-09-29T17:37:49Z")
It’s times like these, eating breakfast at 1:30 PM, that I’m glad I can stomach nearly anything. Just a minute or two I felt queasy (quite apart from this thread). How happy I am that I am typing here instead of throwing up. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/6 "2004-09-29T17:45:55Z")
I have noticed more shit related threads cropping up as of late, like this one, and another by **Trunk** in MPSIMS. Makes me wonder if **lieu** is planning a campaign of vicious gang warfare to reclaim his shit-stained territory. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/7 "2004-09-29T17:47:21Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > In lieu of posting a more useful thread… > > What is up with little shits that won’t come out? You know, a small strip of shit that hangs at the edge of your asshole and just peeks out a little for a look around, but refuses to take the plunge? Trying to wipe it away just smears it around. And it won’t go back in. So I sit there for hours, clenching and unclenching, wiggling like a fucking hula dancer trying to shake the damn thing free, but it won’t budge. Fuck it. Next time, I’m bringing an ice cream scoop. There’s a special place in the bowels of hell for turds like this. It helps to wipe from the top down and use a “flicking” motion when you abut the rebel turd. If you use the normal “clean the area” motion, you will no doubt create a shit smear emergency. I’m not going to pretend this is Ass Wiping 101 stuff. This is an advanced wiping technique with a not negligible risk of “stink-finger” and should only be attempted by those who have mastered the introductory materials. > [@tdn](#): > > On a related note, what’s up with this situation? You finish pooping. You wipe. You zip up. You buckle up. You wash. You dry. You begin to head out the door. Suddenly, your bowel says “Yo pal, we’re not done yet. Get back in there and do the job right.” Sometime it happens to me two or three times in what should have been one sitting. That’s what happened to one of the copywriters for UPS the day he came up with the slogan “Brown and Change”. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/8 "2004-09-29T17:48:07Z")
> [@neuroman](#): > > I have noticed more shit related threads cropping up as of late, like this one, and another by **Trunk** in MPSIMS. > > Makes me wonder if **lieu** is planning a campaign of vicious gang warfare to reclaim his shit-stained territory. What makes you think we’re not newly deputized lieutenents in his fecal army? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/9 "2004-09-29T17:56:41Z")
I think you’ve just got a contrary bunghole. ---
**Author:** ![vanilla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/f19dbf/32.png) [@vanilla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vanilla)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/10 "2004-09-29T17:59:04Z")
band name ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/11 "2004-09-29T18:03:36Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > In \*\*lieu \*\* of posting a more useful thread… (bolding mine) Is this a clever commentary or just an accident? ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/12 "2004-09-29T18:23:26Z")
I fucking hate you people so much right now. ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/13 "2004-09-29T18:32:43Z")
> [@cuauhtemoc](#): > > I fucking hate you people so much right now. 😕 ---
**Author:** ![ouryL](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ouryl/32/6067_2.png) [@ouryL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ouryL)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/14 "2004-09-29T18:53:43Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > In lieu of posting a more useful thread… > > What is up with little shits that won’t come out? You know, a small strip of shit that hangs at the edge of your asshole and just peeks out a little for a look around, but refuses to take the plunge? Trying to wipe it away just smears it around. And it won’t go back in. So I sit there for hours, clenching and unclenching, wiggling like a fucking hula dancer trying to shake the damn thing free, but it won’t budge. Fuck it. Next time, I’m bringing an ice cream scoop. > > (I may not have convinced you of the direness of the situation, but I can guarantee you that you will never ask me to serve you ice cream.) > > On a related note, what’s up with this situation? You finish pooping. You wipe. You zip up. You buckle up. You wash. You dry. You begin to head out the door. Suddenly, your bowel says “Yo pal, we’re not done yet. Get back in there and do the job right.” Sometime it happens to me two or three times in what should have been one sitting. > > I hate that! If your girlfriend drops by for the night and brings her douchebag…you get the idea! 😃 :eek: ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/15 "2004-09-29T18:57:25Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > What is up with little shits that won’t come out? Yeah, I hate Ricky Martin too. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/16 "2004-09-29T19:01:37Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > What makes you think we’re not newly deputized lieutenents in his fecal army? I suppose you could be. I was just trying to stir shit up. ---
**Author:** ![lezlers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/258eb7/32.png) [@lezlers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lezlers)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/17 "2004-09-29T20:51:04Z")
And here I was thinking I just had pathetically weak sphincter muscles. I’m glad to know I’m not alone. There should be a support group or some shit. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/18 "2004-09-29T21:12:59Z")
> [@Elenia28](#): > > (bolding mine) > > Is this a clever commentary or just an accident? Neither. It was neither accidental, nor clever. Some 8 hours after contemplating posting the OP, this was tthe best I could come up with. ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/19 "2004-09-29T21:22:23Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Yeah, I hate Ricky Martin too. Heh. That was beeeutiful. ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2004, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687/20 "2004-09-29T22:16:44Z")
You can fit an ice cream scoop in there?!? :eek: [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-out-of-there-you-little-shit/266687.md?page=2)