# Get Smart **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [September 30, 2004, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837 "2004-09-30T13:25:53Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/1 "2004-09-30T13:25:53Z")
I watched a biography of Don Adams last night. Ya know? I really liked _Get Smart_ when I was a kid. “Missed it by _that_ much.” "Sorry about that, Cheif.\* “Would you believe…” “That’s the _second_ biggest [thing] I’ve ever seen!” “And _loving_ it!” “Zis is KAOS! Ve don’t ‘phthththththt’ here!” I haven’t seen the show in years, but it’s fun seeing how people dressed back then, the cars they drove, etc. Everyone wore suits! 99’s outfits were often (to my current eyes) hideous. And then there’s the whole Cold War thing. Yeah, everyone was paranoid about nuclear annihilation; but at least we had a well-defined enemy back then. The show said that a new _Get Smart_ movie is in the making. Their viewer poll suggested Adam Sandler should play Smart. I don’t know who will play Smart, but _please_ don’t let it be Sandler! ---
**Author:** ![Tangent](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tangent/32/3098_2.png) [@Tangent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tangent)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/2 "2004-09-30T13:27:57Z")
Before we discuss this any further, I think we should lower **The Cone of Silence**! ---
**Author:** ![Gest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9d8465/32.png) [@Gest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gest)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/3 "2004-09-30T13:42:41Z")
… or else the mods will come rolling in like oranges. ---
**Author:** ![Ponder\_Stibbons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponder_stibbons/32/343_2.png) [@Ponder\_Stibbons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponder_Stibbons)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 2:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/4 "2004-09-30T14:04:28Z")
I agree that Sandler as Smart would be a sign of the coming apocalypse. But as I think about it, I’m not sure _who_ could possibly pull it off. Uhh… maybe Wayne Brady? 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/5 "2004-09-30T14:15:57Z")
Well, they could try using [this guy.](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0136797/) Or Don Adams, but at 81, he’s probably a little long in the tooth for the job. ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/6 "2004-09-30T15:26:02Z")
“My _father’s_ name was Hymie!” That line still cracks me all the hell up, for some reason. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/7 "2004-09-30T15:50:48Z")
The whole episode with The Craw was hysterical. The Craw was Chinese, so he couldn’t pronounce R. So, of course, Smart couldn’t understand that it should be The Claw, not The Craw. The Craw was missing his right hand, which had been replaced by a large magnet. He is introducing himself to Smart: The Craw: “I suppose you can guess what they call me, because I wear this.” Smart: “Lefty?” And Hymie the robot, who could do anything a human could do, except one thing - set up a lawn chair. Then when Hymie was dying, he wanted Smart to send his love to the coffee machine in the hallway. Mel Brooks and Buck Henry - geniuses. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Sean\_Factotum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/50afbb/32.png) [@Sean\_Factotum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sean_Factotum)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/8 "2004-09-30T16:16:51Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > Well, they could try using [this guy.](http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0136797/) Damn you, throwing facts into a CS thread! :: shakes fist at **Ethilrist** :: ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/9 "2004-09-30T16:33:19Z")
“I asked you not to tell me that!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/10 "2004-09-30T16:33:23Z")
“Not Craw! Craw!” (That was the pilot, BTW, one of the few actually written by Brooks and Henry.) I was a fan of the show, and of the books. There was a series of [novelizations](http://www.wouldyoubelieve.com/print.html) by William Johnston that were even funnier than the show. Johnston was the master of weird novelizations of TV comedy shows of the time (he wrote another one of Captain Nice). I suspect the name was a pseudonym and would love to know his real name. ---
**Author:** ![Nonsuch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nonsuch/32/2922_2.png) [@Nonsuch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nonsuch)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/11 "2004-09-30T16:50:13Z")
I really can’t abide _Get Smart_. I don’t know what it is; it’s clever enough, and not as relentlessly silly as other comedy shows of the time. Must be my aversion to 60s TV I guess (the only shows from that era I enjoy are _Addams Family_ and _Dick Van Dyke_). I will allow, however, that 99 is extremely hot. ---
**Author:** ![BobT](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@BobT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobT)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2004, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/12 "2004-09-30T23:25:14Z")
Barbara Feldon always appeared to be bouncing back and forth oddly during the show, which I since learned was because she turned her ankles sideways to make herself look shorter. Feldon is noticeably taller than Adams. ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2004, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/13 "2004-10-01T02:00:43Z")
Max extends his hand to Hymie the Robot: “Shake, Hymie!” Hymie proceeds to vibrate in place. That cracked me up when I was 9. And who can forget the passwords??? > [@](#): > > Sign: Who wrote Little Women? > CS: Lonely little men. > Sign: Who do you love? > CS: I want to be loved by you, just you, and nobody else but you. > Sign: I want to be loved by you, you hoo hoo. > CS: (said together) Boop boop be do. from Return of the Ancient Mariner ---
**Author:** ![plnnr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7ea924/32.png) [@plnnr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plnnr)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2004, 12:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/14 "2004-10-01T12:18:38Z")
Barbara Feldon won $64,000 on the game show **The $64,000 Question** IIRC, her area of expertise was Shakespeare. ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2004, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/15 "2004-10-01T12:40:18Z")
99 could shake my spear anytime! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Odinoneeye](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/97f17d/32.png) [@Odinoneeye](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Odinoneeye)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2004, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/16 "2004-10-01T12:51:48Z")
Favorite episodes: The one where Control is arresting Kaos agents and Kaos is kidnapping Control agents, eventually leaving only Max and Zeigfried. The two parter with Don Rickles as Max’s old army buddy. I love the part where they give him the phone shaped like a cow horn and he moos into it. The aforementioned Craw (although it wasn’t the pilot. It was the first of the regular series. The pilot was shot in black and white and was called Mr. Big) ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2004, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/17 "2004-10-01T12:58:40Z")
> [@Johnny L.A.](#): > > The show said that a new _Get Smart_ movie is in the making. Their viewer poll suggested Adam Sandler should play Smart. I don’t know who will play Smart, but _please_ don’t let it be Sandler! How about David Schwimmer? His schedule just opened up a little… ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2004, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/18 "2004-10-01T12:59:32Z")
> [@](#): > > The two parter with Don Rickles as Max’s old army buddy. “I may not have voted for him, but I use his baby powder.” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2004, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/19 "2004-10-01T14:16:38Z")
> [@Krokodil](#): > > How about David Schwimmer? His schedule just opened up a little… I think we’d like someone who’s funny not _pathetic_\*. I would pay to see a death match between Schwimmer, Sandler, and Spade though. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [October 1, 2004, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837/20 "2004-10-01T15:31:13Z")
> [@Mockingbird](#): > > I would pay to see a death match between Schwimmer, Sandler, and Spade though. Oh, how I would like to see a 3 way tie. > [@Odinoneeye](#): > > The one where Control is arresting Kaos agents and Kaos is kidnapping Control agents, eventually leaving only Max and Zeigfried. I especially love the draft at the end. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-smart/266837.md?page=2)