# Get the hell outta my car, ya hooker! Or, worst. night. ever.
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-the-hell-outta-my-car-ya-hooker-or-worst-night-ever/138956
**Category:** The BBQ Pit
**Created:** [November 26, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-the-hell-outta-my-car-ya-hooker-or-worst-night-ever/138956 "2002-11-26T20:37:18Z")
**Posts on this page:** 4
**Page:** 3
### Author:  [@Feynn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Feynn)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2002, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-the-hell-outta-my-car-ya-hooker-or-worst-night-ever/138956/41 "2002-11-28T16:13:50Z")
Is anyone else a fan of “Mrs Campbell” from MadTV?
I can just hear her…
So your friend took you out to a club you couldn’t go into and then borrowed money?
I hope it wasn’t a school night…
So you knew this was a bad place because you locked your doors and grabbed your mace?
You say you waited in the car for thirty minutes when your friend said he’s only be gone for ten?
Was there a problem with your car starting?
So he came back with a complete stranger and started smoking in the back of your car?
I met a woman in the hospital the other day, her husband smoked 2 packs of cigarettes a day.
She was surprised that he had cancer. They do have those warnings right on the package you know…
Oh… he was smoking crack… I’ve never seen that brand of cigarette before…
Oh… he was smoking drugs in the back of your car. That’s illegal isn’t it? Couldn’t a person could get arrested for doing that?
You say you dropped these boys off at a bookstore and couldn’t leave because you were lost?
Did that cellphone come with instructions dear? If you have one of those things you should know how to use it.
Drag Queen… oooooh.
My cousin Melvin used to like playing dress up when we were younger… he liked wearing my dresses because he said it made him feel pretty…
So he made you wait an hour?
You should really get your car serviced so it will start everytime or did you just leave it running?
That’s not safe because someone could steal your car.
Oh. Your car starts just fine does it? I never learned to drive, Mr. Campbell did all that.
Was your friend a cripple?
Oh.
Then he could have walked home on his own then?
He has a good mother to come and pick him up in the middle of the night.
And you say you’re surprised you never got the ten dollars back?
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### Author:  [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2002, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-the-hell-outta-my-car-ya-hooker-or-worst-night-ever/138956/42 "2002-11-28T18:14:39Z")
> [@](#):
>
> \*Originally posted by Libertarian \*
> \*\*I once had a hooker get in my car in Philadelphia while we were lost in San Francisco. There were four of us, but the only person in the car with me was my friend, George. George pulled out his thing and started masturbating, so I yelled for him to stop. But the man in the back seat joined him, and the two of them made a big mess in my car. I told them to clean it up, but they ignored me and said they wanted me to show them mine. I refused, but the girl in the passenger seat grabbed my zipper, and all of a sudden I was beseiged by a whole motorcycle gang that was pulling my pants off. I turned on my windshield wipers, but that didn’t help. When the cop pulled us over, two dwarfs were sucking my toes and Carl was screaming “Rape!”. Lucky for me, the cop was one of those life-size cardboard things and couldn’t speak Hungarian.
>
> I’m just glad all this happened on a Tuesday. \*\*
The funny thing is, this makes more sense than most of your philosophical arguments in GD. 🆒
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### Author:  [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2002, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-the-hell-outta-my-car-ya-hooker-or-worst-night-ever/138956/43 "2002-11-28T19:28:32Z")
What do you mean? I thought I _did_ post that in GD. Damn. 😃
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### Author:  [@KarmaComa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KarmaComa)
#### Post date: [November 28, 2002, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-the-hell-outta-my-car-ya-hooker-or-worst-night-ever/138956/44 "2002-11-28T20:37:58Z")
> [@](#):
>
> _Originally posted by DKW \*
> First, you’ve got to find a new sport. My suggestion: soccer. That way, when you see something that rubs you completely wrong, you can just think “red card” and end the foolishness right then and there. If you think that might be a little harsh, you can call “yellow card” instead, meaning that you’ll let it slide once, but if anything like it happens again, you’re outta there._\*
I thought you were suggesting soccer as a chick-cruising alternative to over-21 bars! Is this the best tongue emoticon I can get? 😛
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