# Get yer Free Stress test:$cientology at the mall! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 3, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249 "2005-02-03T20:51:40Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 18\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/1 "2005-02-03T20:51:40Z")
I was off at a local mall on my lunch hour, and I noticed a kiosk, manned by two slightly crazed-looking 20-somethings. they urged me to get a free “stress” test…man those “e-meters” have really improved! No more soup cans-you grab two shiny chrome cylinders. and the e-meter now has a snazzy LCD display! Is $cientology that desparate that they have to seeek victims in shopping malls? Oh, they have some charming literature…a sampling includes “HOW PSYCHIATRY KILLS”, and “L. Ron Hubbard: Benefactor of Mankind” My question: the $cientology scam has been exposed on the Net for years now-how do they expect to find people stupid enough to fall forit? And, HOW much does an e-meter cost? ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [February 3, 2005, 9:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/2 "2005-02-03T21:10:28Z")
Can you point to where the scam has been revealed? I’ve been somewhat curious but lazy. I certainly don’t want to go in person to find out for myself. ---
**Author:** ![gotpasswords](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c57346/32.png) [@gotpasswords](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gotpasswords)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/3 "2005-02-04T00:39:44Z")
Out here, they’re even worse, setting up a card table on the sidewalk next to the stairs to the subway station. And you’re right, they have spiffed up those “meters” a lot. ---
**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/4 "2005-02-04T00:43:20Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Can you point to where the scam has been revealed? I’ve been somewhat curious but lazy. I certainly don’t want to go in person to find out for myself. This is a great place to start: [The Scandal of Scientology](http://www.clambake.org/archive/books/tsos/sos.html) Another great site: [http://xenu.net/](http://xenu.net/) Very entertaining reading. Makes it hard to watch Tom Cruise or John Travolta movies without laughing your head off, tho… ---
**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/5 "2005-02-04T00:45:38Z")
Check this one out, too: [http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6878931/](http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6878931/) Yeesh. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 12:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/6 "2005-02-04T00:54:03Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > how do they expect to find people stupid enough to fall forit? I refer you to [this page](http://www.scientology-kills.org/celebrities/celebrities.htm) . ---
**Author:** ![Cynical\_Optimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Cynical\_Optimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical_Optimist)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/7 "2005-02-04T02:04:51Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > I was off at a local mall on my lunch hour, and I noticed a kiosk, manned by two slightly crazed-looking 20-somethings. they urged me to get a free “stress” test…man those “e-meters” have really improved! No more soup cans-you grab two shiny chrome cylinders. and the e-meter now has a snazzy LCD display!? Is $cientology that desparate that they have to seeek victims in shopping malls? Nothing new there. I’ve seen them stacking pyramids of Dianetics on tables in malls around here (greater Boston) once or twice a year for the better part of a decade now. They also tend to offer personality tests wherever college-aged kids go about their daily business. > [@ralph124c](#): > > Oh, they have some charming literature…a sampling includes “HOW PSYCHIATRY KILLS”, and “L. Ron Hubbard: Benefactor of Mankind” It gets better. Ask them about [Ron the War Hero](http://ronthewarhero.org/) and watch them really get nutty. Then ask about Xenu & the billion year contract. You can have alot of fun until the mallcops ask you to leave, and keep curious passerbys from signing up at the same time. 😃 > [@ralph124c](#): > > My question: the $cientology scam has been exposed on the Net for years now-how do they expect to find people stupid enough to fall forit? > And, HOW much does an e-meter cost? Exposed on the net != Exposed on TV, unfortunately. While they’re nowhere near their high they still find a steady stream of wogs to indoctrinate. Too many people still modelling themselves after celebrities I guess… eMeters can go for several hundred (for low level clams) to tens of thousands (if you’ve got money). Scientology is like cocaine: The answer to “how much does it cost?” is “How much do you have?” ---
**Author:** ![Dragwyr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dragwyr/32/2855_2.png) [@Dragwyr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragwyr)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 2:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/8 "2005-02-04T02:13:20Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Can you point to where the scam has been revealed? I’ve been somewhat curious but lazy. I certainly don’t want to go in person to find out for myself. [Check out the Skeptic’s Dictionary article on Scientology.](http://www.skepdic.com/dianetic.html) ---
**Author:** ![Duke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e8c25b/32.png) [@Duke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duke)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/9 "2005-02-04T03:10:01Z")
**ralph** , you don’t live in the Buffalo area, do you? There’s been a $cientology kiosk at the Walden Galleria for a couple years now. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 4:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/10 "2005-02-04T04:35:52Z")
Oh you will love this. In NYC they are out quite a bit. Especially in Times Square. One time a group had a sort of a ‘grabber’. A person to attract attention of the people passing by. Now in Times Square, you need something to really get people’s attention. So they had a balloon artist. Yes, someone was using their skill as a balloon artist to bring people to Scientology. What did he do? He made a hat that resembled a Volcano. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/11 "2005-02-04T06:38:41Z")
I have read the materialat [clambake.com](http://clambake.com)…and it boggles the mind! How COULD anybody actualy believe this crap about Xenu and engrams, etc. Even if L. Ron Hubbard actually knew anything about psychology, the whole thing is just bad science fiction. Question: since the “e-meter” proports to measure stress, are these guys practicing medicine without a license? Didn’t the FDA seize these e-meters from time to time? I feel sorry for the poor foolsthat man these kisoks…do they get paid for this? Could I burn out an e-meter? (by concealing a battery n my hands? ---
**Author:** ![Cynical\_Optimist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Cynical\_Optimist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cynical_Optimist)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/12 "2005-02-04T13:43:52Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > I have read the materialat [clambake.com](http://clambake.com)…and it boggles the mind! How COULD anybody actualy believe this crap about Xenu and engrams, etc. Six billion people wandering around the planet. No matter how good your quality control is there’s bound to be a few near the lowest edge of the bell curve. CoS seems to target twenty-somethings out on their own, not unlike tobacco companies getting kids hooked while they’re young. There’s also a whole lot of people out there looking for the pre-packaged easy solution, be it weight loss, “male enhancement”, what have you. I’m suprised there’s isn’t more CoS spam infesting inboxes worldwide. > [@ralph124c](#): > > Even if L. Ron Hubbard actually knew anything about psychology, the whole thing is just bad science fiction. Yeah, at least Lucas and Roddenberry had some entertaining ideas. > [@ralph124c](#): > > Question: since the “e-meter” proports to measure stress, are these guys practicing medicine without a license? Didn’t the FDA seize these e-meters from time to time? > I feel sorry for the poor foolsthat man these kisoks…do they get paid for this? > Could I burn out an e-meter? (by concealing a battery n my hands? AFAIK they claim that the stress they’re measuring is spiritual, not mental or physical, so the FDA can no longer shut them down for practicing medicine without a license. The kids are most likely working in exchange for auditing if they can’t afford the US$150 per hour a session on the soupcans costs. You probably can’t burn out an eMeter as I’m sure it doesn’t actually measure anything. I suspect it just displays random numbers which only a “highly trained auditor” can interpret as meaning that you desperately need auditing. :rolleyes: What really pisses me off however is that clams can get a nice [tax deduction](http://www.detnews.com/2004/religion/0404/20/religion-118498.htm) for sending their kids to clam college, something no other religion can do without risking a visit from the IRS. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/13 "2005-02-04T13:52:12Z")
Millions of dollars are lost every year to Nigerian scams, and you wonder how people still fall for Scientology? ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2005, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/14 "2005-02-04T13:59:25Z")
I just read that MSNBC article. Was that written by a Scientologist? Because it sure sounded like it. ---
**Author:** ![spectrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9fc29f/32.png) [@spectrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spectrum)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/15 "2005-02-26T07:15:09Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > I refer you to [this page](http://www.scientology-kills.org/celebrities/celebrities.htm) . Whelp. No more masturbating to Christopher Masterson. ---
**Author:** ![Leviosaurus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/439d5e/32.png) [@Leviosaurus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leviosaurus)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/16 "2005-02-26T08:49:51Z")
[XENU!](http://www.xenu.com/) Scientology = badness. Please send these links to all your friends to help end the insanity. [XENU!](http://www.scientology-kills.org/index.html) ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/17 "2005-02-26T09:04:11Z")
When I was living in London I decided it would be interesting to let them work their mojo on me and see if I could spot just what they were doing. In a nutshell, they play on fear and insecurity while posing as gurus and denying you any proof that you don’t have to pay for. It’s a good scam. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [February 26, 2005, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-yer-free-stress-test-cientology-at-the-mall/288249/18 "2005-02-26T09:51:24Z")
I was at the Watertown (MA) mall yesterday…the $cientology brigade was out in force…bagging people leaving the Registry of Motor Vehicles (I guess they figure you NEED a strees test after dealing with the ROMV). Anyway, I ventured closer…these kids (manning the pushcart) really look crazy! Does auditing screw up your mind?Or were these kids just buzzed from pushing this crap on to unsuspecting mallrats?