# Get your baby's dirty ass off the restaurant table! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435 "2010-05-23T03:58:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pabstist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e99b99/32.png) [@pabstist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pabstist)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/1 "2010-05-23T03:58:54Z")
What the fuck? What rational human being would let their kid in a dirty diaper sit on the middle of a restaurant table? I witnessed this today, and a number of times in the memorable past. Keep your kids dirty smelly ass on the chair or your lap. What the fuck makes you think it’s OK to put his poopy ass right on the surface that somebody else will eat off of after you leave? Do you plop his diapered butt on your dining room table during Thanksgiving dinner next to the turkey? I swear to god if I see one more baby on a table in a restaurant I will never leave home again. That has to be one of the grossest most disrespectful things I can imagine- a diaper full of shit right where I am about to eat. What kind of cretin thinks that is acceptable? ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/2 "2010-05-23T04:02:15Z")
Excuses from parents in 3,2,1… ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/3 "2010-05-23T04:02:37Z")
I once reported a grocery store when I saw the owner changing her baby’s diaper on the meat counter. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/4 "2010-05-23T04:05:31Z")
Reported the store to who for what? ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/5 "2010-05-23T04:06:23Z")
I have seen people push the food aside and _change the diaper_ on a restauant table. In retrospect, I should have shot them all. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/6 "2010-05-23T04:07:42Z")
How is a baby’s ass any worse than all your slobber and crumbs? The tables are wiped down and sanitized after every use anyway, so who cares. I’ve done this a million times with my kids. Suck my babies’ ass germs, bitches. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/7 "2010-05-23T04:09:00Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I have seen people push the food aside and _change the diaper_ on a restauant table. What. The. Fuck. Edit: > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > How is a baby’s ass any worse than all your slobber and crumbs? > > The tables are wiped down and sanitized after every use anyway, so who cares. > > I’ve done this a million times with my kids. Suck my babies’ ass germs, bitches. No. Not you too, **Dio**. Not you. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/8 "2010-05-23T04:11:16Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > How is a baby’s ass any worse than all your slobber and crumbs? I don’t slobber feces. > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The tables are wiped down and sanitized after every use anyway, so who cares. Obviously those of us who aren’t enormous douche mongers. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/9 "2010-05-23T04:15:45Z")
I haven’t changed diapers, no, but I’ve sat them on the table a million times. What’s the big deal. It’s not YOUR table, and how is a baby with a diaper and pants on tainting a table any worse than any other fat slob who sits there drooling and sweating all over it? And who eats directly off the table surface anyway? They have these things called “trays,” you know. Some really fancy places even have plates. If you’re dumping your supersize order of french fries directly on to the table before you soak them down with Arby’s sauce and stuff them into your face, then you’re doing it wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Moonlitherial](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4bbf92/32.png) [@Moonlitherial](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moonlitherial)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/10 "2010-05-23T04:17:50Z")
Swiping a damp cloth over multiple tables is not what I’d call sanitizing. I’m all for parents getting out and kids being a part of society, but changing dirty diapers on a food service area is not only unsanitary it’s just rude. Sitting on the table in a clean diaper is kind of a grey area for me, but as soon change time hits - hit the bathroom. I fully support not being banished to the bathroom to breastfeed your kids, so lets remember all the arguments you made against that when it’s time to deal with your kids output. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/11 "2010-05-23T04:18:10Z")
> [@Todderbob](#): > > I don’t slobber feces. What feces? My kids have diapers and pants on. There isn’t any feces.. > [@](#): > > Obviously those of us who aren’t enormous douche mongers. No one has yet supported the thesis that parents who do this deserve to be called douche mongers. Please explain how you are being harmed. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/12 "2010-05-23T04:18:56Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I haven’t changed diapers, no, but I’ve sat them on the table a million times. What’s the big deal. It’s not YOUR table, and how is a baby with a diaper and pants on tainting a table any worse than any other fat slob who sits there drooling and sweating all over it? I got the impression from the OP that pants aren’t being worn by these babies. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/13 "2010-05-23T04:22:09Z")
I don’t believe the OP has seen a multitude of babies sitting on restaurant tables in nothing but diapers. I’ve never seen that ever, and I spent ten years _working_ in restaurants. How many babies do you ever see in public places wearing nothing but diapers? It doesn’t happen. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/14 "2010-05-23T04:22:23Z")
I don’t understand. **Pabstist** , Are you saying you know that the diaper is dirty? Or are you pissed because a child who wears a diaper is on the table? You know that just because a child is wearing a diaper, that the diaper is not necessarily soiled, right? They don’t pee and poop in a constant stream or anything. I can’t get down with the changing on the table, though. That’s gross. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/15 "2010-05-23T04:23:45Z")
Asses of any age don’t go on eating tables. Period. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/16 "2010-05-23T04:24:52Z")
My impression is that he’s assuming all babies’ diapers are always filled with shit. I doubt he saw one in just a diaper anyway. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/17 "2010-05-23T04:25:48Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I don’t believe the OP has seen a multitude of babies sitting on restaurant tables in nothing but diapers. I’ve never seen that ever, and I spent ten years _working_ in restaurants. > > How many babies do you ever see in public places wearing nothing but diapers? It doesn’t happen. Are you asserting that **Boyo Jim** ’s claim that he saw someone changing a diaper on a restaurant table is a lie? I believe it. I have seen people with babies in nothing but diapers at restaurants. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/18 "2010-05-23T04:26:06Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > My impression is that he’s assuming all babies’ diapers are always filled with shit. > > I doubt he saw one in just a diaper anyway. Wal-Mart shoppers have to eat somewhere. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/19 "2010-05-23T04:26:37Z")
> [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > Asses of any age don’t go on eating tables. Period. Sure they do. All the time. What are you going to do about it? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/20 "2010-05-23T04:28:18Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Are you asserting that **Boyo Jim** ’s claim that he saw someone changing a diaper on a restaurant table is a lie? I believe it. I have seen people with babies in nothing but diapers at restaurants. No, I’m saying people don’t take their babies out wearing nothing but diapers to begin with. And the OP didn’t say he say anyyone _changing_ a diaper. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435.md?page=2)