# Get your baby's dirty ass off the restaurant table! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435 "2010-05-23T03:58:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/181 "2010-05-24T12:48:26Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Bleach water burns your hands? Seriously. I decided it was too minor a point to pursue, but that’s not bleach in the bucket… it’s just soapy water, probably with some anti-bacterial element. Bleach is too abrasive and toxic to put on restaurant tables. ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/182 "2010-05-24T13:00:17Z")
I once heard someone get all uptight about people sitting on picnic tables at the park. Guess he thought a jeanclad butt was worse than pigeon poop, people horks, and all manner of mystery decaying food spills that usually contaminate a public picnic table. What grosses me out in restaurants is not so much what germs may be lurking on top of the table but what may be smeared underneath it, ew. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/183 "2010-05-24T13:10:21Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > I decided it was too minor a point to pursue, but that’s not bleach in the bucket… it’s just soapy water, probably with some anti-bacterial element. Bleach is too abrasive and toxic to put on restaurant tables. Perhaps people get frustrated with Diogenes because he’s almost always right. A 1:9 or 1:10 bleach water solution is quite tolerable and very recommended for cleaning and sanitizing things like tabletops. You all look really stupid when you flip out on Diogenes when he’s clearly correct. Look it up. ---
**Author:** ![Ostrya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/35a633/32.png) [@Ostrya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ostrya)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/184 "2010-05-24T13:31:33Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > I guess you completely missed the part where I’m one of the people in the thread who thinks that these little shits shouldn’t be on the tables. Yeah, all I saw was you fighting with Diogenes who had taken the stance that kids asses are okay on tables. If I picked on you wrongfully old buddy, I apologize. [Also, I admit Stacey Dash _might_ hold a candle to Melissa the French newscaster, so there! (I said “might”) ;)] ---
**Author:** ![Nzinga\_Seated](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/b5ac83/32.png) [@Nzinga\_Seated](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nzinga_Seated)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/185 "2010-05-24T13:36:19Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > Perhaps people get frustrated with Diogenes because he’s almost always right. A 1:9 or 1:10 bleach water solution is quite tolerable and very recommended for cleaning and sanitizing things like tabletops. > > You all look really stupid when you flip out on Diogenes when he’s clearly correct. Look it up. I agree with you. The man is often right. But you know the problem with being always right? You get cocky with it, and make a fool of yourself when you are wrong, as opposed to just saying, “ok, that part was stupid of me to insist on.” Anyone who lives in a city with hot summers have seen shirtless, sticky, drooling, pot-bellied babies riding their mamas’ hip with only a diaper on. I don’t go to many 4 star restaurants, but the places I do go to are not above having a mom bring her diaper bottomed baby in there. Since his points are valid, he should learn to give on the little technicalities he is clearly wrong about. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/186 "2010-05-24T13:53:55Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Do you also do it at home? If not, why? Of course I do. I also own cleaning supplies, and use them appropriately when required…which has never been from a diaper 'spolsion on the table, actually. Blow outs happen either overnight or when a toddler is running around, not when they’re sitting quietly. And IF it were to spontaneously leak on the table, I’d clean it up. > [@curlcoat](#): > > Those who think they are entitled to use a public table as a chair do not tend to be good parents in other areas. Such as bothering to change their kid when they mess their diaper, or bothering to get diapers that actually fit if they have leftovers of the smaller size, or bothering to replace plastic pants when they start to wear and leak. Come on, use your brain - there are parents out there who see nothing wrong with their kid shitting in the McDonalds PlayPlace! cite? The only parents in the thread who have explicitly said they sometimes sit their babies on a table (me and Dio) have also said we won’t change them on the table. We may not be statistically representative of parents as a whole, but you’re not getting evidence from this thread, so where are you getting it from? > [@cricetus](#): > > I decided it was too minor a point to pursue, but that’s not bleach in the bucket… it’s just soapy water, probably with some anti-bacterial element. Bleach is too abrasive and toxic to put on restaurant tables. This is just ridiculous. Bleach, properly diluted, is not abrasive or toxic to humans at all. And it IS the industry standard for cleaning solutions. While there are other disinfectants used, bleach is the cheapest and most common used in food service. True, it’s not always used every time a table changes over, but I can assure you, if my child’s diaper ever leaks on a table, bleach water is available for me to clean it up properly and safely. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 2:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/187 "2010-05-24T14:37:12Z")
> [@Nzinga\_Seated](#): > > I agree with you. The man is often right. But you know the problem with being always right? You get cocky with it, and make a fool of yourself when you are wrong, as opposed to just saying, “ok, that part was stupid of me to insist on.” Speaking from personal experience, being right all the time is a gift…and a curse. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/188 "2010-05-24T14:47:14Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > Of course I do. I also own cleaning supplies, and use them appropriately when required…which has never been from a diaper 'spolsion on the table, actually. Blow outs happen either overnight or when a toddler is running around, not when they’re sitting quietly. And IF it were to spontaneously leak on the table, I’d clean it up. > > . Good for YOU. Butt everybody out there is NOT you. Laws and social customs arent based upon who can do it the bestest and rightest ways. They are usually based upon the lower functioning people. I CAN take a shit without getting ecoli all over my hands (yea for me!). Some folks can’t. So, you see some guy leaving a public restroom. You going to assume its me or Mr Mcshitty hands? I’ve seen dirty diapered babies in public. I’ve seen parents that I’d bet good money don’t know proper sanitary procedures. How, do I know its them or you over there with the break dancing table baby? Won’t someone think of the adults? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/189 "2010-05-24T15:00:14Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > I decided it was too minor a point to pursue, but that’s not bleach in the bucket… it’s just soapy water, probably with some anti-bacterial element. Bleach is too abrasive and toxic to put on restaurant tables. Bro, I worked in a million restaurants during my lazy-ass, ne’er-do-well, non-career, as you know, and I’ve made the solution myself a billion times. It’s bleach water. On occasion, I have also seen places that mix in containers of something called “sanitizer” instead of bleach I don’t know what that is, but it’s not just soap. I think they’re required by code to use some kind of sanitizing agent. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/190 "2010-05-24T15:05:27Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > Take it a step farther back than that. What the hell is the parent doing with a kid that young in a restaurant in the first place? In a fast food place? Are you kidding? That’s a problem for you? I don’t do it very often, but sometimes you don’t have a choice. If, for instance, we are travelling on the road. We have to eat. What are we supposed to do, starve the kids? Leave them in the car? What? It’s not like we’re taking them to a fine dining establishment, it’s fucking McDonald’s. They even have a special room for little kids with the Playland and everything that’s segregated away from the main dining room. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/191 "2010-05-24T16:24:41Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > I love that you’re blaming **Dio** for the fact that you couldn’t comprehend the thread. In fact, he’s one of the few people that actually understood what the OP was really complaining about, and one of the few people who really seems to get that nobody is defending the suggestion that you should change a diaper on a table. Such are the perils of charging into a thread and spraying around “who cares, you’re all wrong” in every direction – people ascribe contrary opinions to you that you may not actually hold because you’re too lazy to express yourself clearly. The OP complains about someone letting a baby _in a dirty diaper_ sit on a restaurant table, **runner pat** follows with a story about observing someone changing a baby on a grocery store meat counter. **Diogenes’** first two posts in the thread set a position of “so what?” Later, he can back off to the more nuanced position of calling the OP a liar and defending the obviously reasonable position of sitting children in clean diapers and pants on a table, but the damage is done. The thread has been hijacked into talking about **Dio**. > [@runner pat](#): > > I once reported a grocery store when I saw the owner changing her baby’s diaper on the meat counter. > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Reported the store to who for what? > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > How is a baby’s ass any worse than all your slobber and crumbs? > > The tables are wiped down and sanitized after every use anyway, so who cares. > > I’ve done this a million times with my kids. Suck my babies’ ass germs, bitches. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/192 "2010-05-24T16:30:20Z")
I haven’t “backed off” of anything, asshole. I’ve been completely consistent for the entire thread. I never defended changing a baby on the able, only sitting one down. I also never called the OP a liar. I pointed out that he never said he saw anyone _changing_ a baby. He also had no way of knowing whether the diaper was dirty, so it can’t be taken as a fact in evidence that such was the case. I never said “so what” about changing a diaper on the table. Don’t make shit up. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/193 "2010-05-24T16:30:57Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > How many babies do you ever see in public places wearing nothing but diapers? It doesn’t happen. I see that quite a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/194 "2010-05-24T16:41:37Z")
I wonder if we should tell the OP the staff have probably fucked on that table before? > [@BigT](#): > > Dio, you live in flipping Minnesota. Of course things are going to be different there. The baby would probably be too cold. Do they have pants in Minnesota? ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/195 "2010-05-24T16:42:42Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I haven’t “backed off” of anything, asshole. I’ve been completely consistent for the entire thread. I never defended changing a baby on the able, only sitting one down. > > I also never called the OP a liar. I pointed out that he never said he saw anyone _changing_ a baby. He also had no way of knowing whether the diaper was dirty, so it can’t be taken as a fact in evidence that such was the case. > > I never said “so what” about changing a diaper on the table. Don’t make shit up. I’m sure in your mind your posts were the model of clarity and reasonableness, but to anyone else coming into the thread, the distinct impression from your first two posts is that you didn’t find either the OP’s complaint or **runner\_pat** ’s a big deal. Allow me to demonstrate with a dramatization: Person A: “Someone raped my dog! I’ve called the police!” Person B: “Why would you call the police? What for?” I’m sure in your mind, person B is just interested in the nuances of dog-fucking law in that particular area, but to normal people, that sounds like someone is dubious of the merits of person A’s complaint. Similarly, the fact that you mocked the OP’s complaint without first pointing out that you didn’t believe his explicitly stated observation that the child was wearing a dirty diaper is a pretty key omission, as it derails the thread right out of the gate and makes it all about you, as we spend three pages sorting out that your opinions on the topic aren’t as trollish as your initial posts made them seem. Whether it’s laziness or deliberate attention whoring, the effect is the same: it’s fucking annoying. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/196 "2010-05-24T16:46:11Z")
I thought it was pretty obvious that the “shitty diaper” language by the OP was hyperbole and not meant to be taken literally. The comment about the Health Department was a comment about calling the Health Department, not a defense of the act the person wanted to report. I have not defended changing a baby on a table, period. All I’ve defended is sitting a clothed baby on a table. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/197 "2010-05-24T16:48:31Z")
Yes, here on page four, your views are quite reasonable. It would have been nice if they could be stated as reasonably back on page one so the thread doesn’t have 43 posts by you and a bunch more about you. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/198 "2010-05-24T16:48:35Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Similarly, the fact that you mocked the OP’s complaint without first pointing out that you didn’t believe his explicitly stated observation that the child was wearing a dirty diaper is a pretty key omission, as it derails the thread right out of the gate and makes it all about you, as we spend three pages sorting out that your opinions on the topic aren’t as trollish as your initial posts made them seem. Whether it’s laziness or deliberate attention whoring, the effect is the same: it’s fucking annoying. I’m not sure which is more annoying, to be honest - **Dio** ’s posts or the posts responding to **Dio** ’s posts in annoyance. While I agree with \*\*Nzinga \*\*about **Dio** ’s know-it-most-ness (he does know and is right about a LOT of stuff…now if he’d just let go of what he’s incorrect about or personal belief put forth as gospel…), I will say that he doesn’t keep on unless you respond to him. Those three pages would have been half a page if people had just rolled eyes and moved on as if he’d never posted. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/199 "2010-05-24T16:50:29Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > Yes, here on page four, your views are quite reasonable. It would have been nice if they could be stated as reasonably back on page one so the thread doesn’t have 43 posts by you and a bunch more about you. I said the same thing on page one as I’m saying now. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/200 "2010-05-24T16:57:03Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I have not defended changing a baby on a table, period. All I’ve defended is sitting a clothed baby on a table. You have been a first class tard/turd in this thread. Have you lost your job? Getting a divorce? Run out of your meds? On a three day bender? Got a new brain tumor? Seriously, I don’t always agree with your posts, but at least there is usually some measure of intelligence in them. But lately? Jesus Christ on shit cracker some of your posts have been amazingly bad, illogical, arrogant (without basis), and trollish. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435.md?page=11)