# Get your baby's dirty ass off the restaurant table! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435 "2010-05-23T03:58:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/21 "2010-05-23T04:28:34Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Sure they do. All the time. What are you going to do about it? You’re really bored lately, aren’t you? I wonder how many pages you’ll drag this one out. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/22 "2010-05-23T04:31:29Z")
I’ve never dragged out any thread. All I do is respond. If I don’t respond then people say I’m running away. Was only one opinion allowed to be expressed in this thread? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/23 "2010-05-23T04:31:46Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Sure they do. All the time. What are you going to do about it? Stop taking your lessons from me. You were more fun before you were a troll. > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > No, I’m saying people don’t take their babies out wearing nothing but diapers to begin with. Wrong. > [@Dio](#): > > And the OP didn’t say he say anyyone _changing_ a diaper. And no one said anything about the OP saying anything about _changing_ diapers. ---
**Author:** ![Lunchy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Lunchy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunchy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/24 "2010-05-23T04:33:00Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Excuses from parents in 3,2,1… We made it to 2 anyways… ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/25 "2010-05-23T04:37:34Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Sure they do. All the time. What are you going to do about it? I am going to start a campaign to ban all asses from all tables everywhere in the world. Once I’m finished doing that, I will go out personally and gun down everyone everywhere who has their ass (clothed/diapered or otherwise) in contact with a table that is used for eating. Before I do that, I suppose I’ll have to get some guns. A lot of guns. Before that, I suppose I’ll have to learn how to shoot. I’m going to be busy. ---
**Author:** ![x-ray\_vision](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/x-ray_vision/32/351_2.png) [@x-ray\_vision](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/x-ray_vision)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/26 "2010-05-23T04:39:44Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > I’ve never dragged out any thread. All I do is respond. Those two actions aren’t mutually exclusive. Dude, you’re on a tear lately taking an inane stance and not letting it go and making the same arguments over and over and being seemingly incapable of not getting in the last word. > [@](#): > > If I don’t respond then people say I’m running away. And you care? Yet you claim you don’t care if some says your daughter are sluts _in the “fat chick who will blow literally anybody but waits till mid-way through the second date for anal” way_? > [@](#): > > Was only one opinion allowed to be expressed in this thread? Yes, that was absolutely my point. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/27 "2010-05-23T04:41:15Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Stop taking your lessons from me. You were more fun before you were a troll. I’m not a troll. Trolls don’t mean it. I mean every word. > [@](#): > > Wrong. I’ve never seen it ever in a restaurant. Has it ever happened once in the history of the world? Probably, but it’s exceedingly rare. It’s not something you see every day. > [@](#): > > And no one said anything about the OP saying anything about _changing_ diapers. I think you’re losing the track a little bit here. I said that people didn’t take their babies to resaurants in nothing but diapers (which they don’t). You then asked if I was callen **Boyo** a liar for saying he’d seen someone change a diaper. My answer is of course not. One thing has nothing to do with the other. I didn’t say people don’t change diapers on fast food tables, I said the babies don’t _come in_ to the McDonalds wearing nothing but a diaper. (Cue all the bullshit anecdotes about how every fast place people go to is swarming with babies in nothing but diapers) ---
**Author:** ![boytyperanma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4491bb/32.png) [@boytyperanma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/boytyperanma)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/28 "2010-05-23T04:52:27Z")
I just can’t get behind this outrage. Baby on table, yeah whatever. They start changing the baby on the tables I’ll come over to your side. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/29 "2010-05-23T04:58:02Z")
There are pants for babies? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/30 "2010-05-23T05:00:04Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > There are pants for babies? Do you live under a rock? ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/31 "2010-05-23T05:03:30Z")
He was joking. right? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/32 "2010-05-23T05:05:06Z")
This is going to be like taking Tabasco from a baby in a dirty diaper sitting on a restaurant table. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/33 "2010-05-23T05:07:54Z")
My grandfather used to tell my mother when she was little, “tables are for glasses, not for asses.” > [@runner pat](#): > > I once reported a grocery store when I saw the owner changing her baby’s diaper on the meat counter. > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Reported the store to who for what? To the health department? You don’t change a dirty diaper on a meat counter. That’s NOT the same as sitting a clean, covered up bottom on a surface and you bloody well know it. That’s definitely a violation of the health codes. And yes, there ARE people out there who take their kids out wearing nothing but their diapers – trust me, I’VE seen them. So take your self-righteous, smug, know-it-all attitude and stick it right up YOUR ass. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/34 "2010-05-23T05:19:32Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Do you live under a rock? I keep a safe distance from babies. From my POV, they are diease filled noise bags. ---
**Author:** ![Todderbob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e47774/32.png) [@Todderbob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Todderbob)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/35 "2010-05-23T05:22:58Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I keep a safe distance from babies. From my POV, they are diease filled noise bags. And they tend not to smell so pleasant either. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/36 "2010-05-23T05:37:25Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I keep a safe distance from babies. From my POV, they are diease filled noise bags. In my experience pants are almost as common as dresses for girls and more common than overalls for boys. Like, what else would they wear? Yes, I see people with babies in nothing but diapers and shirts a lot. But most of the time they’re clothed. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/37 "2010-05-23T06:10:12Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > My grandfather used to tell my mother when she was little, “tables are for glasses, not for asses.” > > To the health department? The Health Department doesn’t give a fuck, believe me. They’re not going to rush right out to the store. They’re going to write it down and blow you off. > [@](#): > > And yes, there ARE people out there who take their kids out wearing nothing but their diapers No there aren’t. Not in restaurants. Not anywhere really. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 6:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/38 "2010-05-23T06:12:32Z")
I’d say most people around here being actual babies (and not toddlers) sans pants. Dio, you live in flipping Minnesota. Of course things are going to be different there. The baby would probably be too cold. And yet again I point out that you are taking your own experience, and arguing from incredulity that other people’s experiences couldn’t be different. If you want to consider yourself an “expert,” stick with things that have scientific proof behind them. Also, seeing as I don’t believe you could be as smart as you are and not know that your own experiences might be different than everyone else’s, I do believe you are trolling. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 6:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/39 "2010-05-23T06:14:49Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > No there aren’t. Not in restaurants. Not anywhere really. Yes, there are. Go to Hell. You don’t know what the fuck we have and haven’t seen. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/40 "2010-05-23T06:18:47Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Yes, there are. Go to Hell. You don’t know what the fuck we have and haven’t seen. That’s another way to say what I said. I just have a feeling that Dio’s one of those who feels an antagonistic response deserves the same. Also, the word being was supposed to be bring, as in bring babies to restaurants. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435.md?page=3)