# Get your baby's dirty ass off the restaurant table! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435 "2010-05-23T03:58:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 26
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/501 "2010-06-11T03:52:32Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Huh. I wondered, with all of the recycling that Southern California does, why we still needed hundreds of acres of new landfill. Now I know - parents once again consider their ease over all else. Maybe if they quit calling them “disposable” diapers, you all would quit buying them. > > Eh, probably not. Couldn’t be all those bags of dog poo, could it? Of course not. One comment from one parent, as opposed to several from parents who use cloth. Way to assume. Again. Of course, if every parent in the country used cloth diapers, you’d complain about the water being used to wash them. (What would suggest calling them? They’re not exactly re-usable.) ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/502 "2010-06-11T04:05:53Z")
> [@thirdwarning](#): > > Couldn’t be all those bags of dog poo, could it? Of course not. Dog poo from this house goes in the can in a paper bag. Dog poo picked up elsewhere is in biodegradable bags. Try again. > [@](#): > > One comment from one parent, as opposed to several from parents who use cloth. Way to assume. Again. There were several parents in this thread who said they use cloth? > [@](#): > > Of course, if every parent in the country used cloth diapers, you’d complain about the water being used to wash them. Only because it would be another example of how continued high population is killing us all, but in context of cloth vs Pampers? Cloth wins every time. > [@](#): > > (What would suggest calling them? They’re not exactly re-usable.) Oh I dunno - landfill fillers? Shit filled time capsules? Three seconds of parent convenience, three centuries in the ground? You pick, they are all good. BTW, if you have no babies to plop on tables, why do you care if people think it’s offensive? > [@Muffin](#): > > Since they were marrying off a young child-bride in a white bridal gown in that commercial, it is no surprise that they sat the child on a table. Crap, I wish the ad would have played for me! Sounds like it was full of realism [/sarcasm] ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/503 "2010-06-11T04:20:19Z")
Come on **Curlcoat** , why don’t you tell us what you really feel about babies? ---
**Author:** ![thirdwarning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecccb3/32.png) [@thirdwarning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thirdwarning)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/504 "2010-06-11T06:32:21Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Dog poo from this house goes in the can in a paper bag. Dog poo picked up elsewhere is in biodegradable bags. Try again. So you do the dog owner equivalent of cloth diapers, essentially. Good for you. Now tell me everyone does the same. > [@](#): > > BTW, if you have no babies to plop on tables, why do you care if people think it’s offensive? Hey, sillyness is sillyness, regardless of whether it affects me directly. I’ve seen people put shopping bags on tables, purses on tables, their hands, their arms, their phones, all sorts of things that are much more likely to be carrying germs than a baby’s freshly dressed bottom. I’ve even seen people set a used napkin on the table! Amazing! Don’t they have any manners? But it’s late and I’m tired, and I know this isn’t going anywhere. Sometimes I feel like playing this game, but I’m done now. Just count me as one of those who doesn’t get bent out of shape about little stuff. ---
**Author:** ![Girl\_From\_Mars](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/3da27b/32.png) [@Girl\_From\_Mars](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girl_From_Mars)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/505 "2010-06-11T09:55:21Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Wow, cloth diapers. How 1960’s. > > Well, if the baby is wearing cloth diapers, I would agree that the parents should be more careful. I use modern cloth nappies, and while they don’t contain as much pee as a disposable, they are miles better at containing poo (or poosplosions as they are sometimes advertised). Plus they’re better for the environment, plus they save wodges of cash, plus they give that lovely cushy bum that’s fun to swat - what’s not to love? I’ve been following this from the beginning, and initially thought it was an overreaction, particularly to a clothed baby. However, having done a couple of nappy changes since then while thinking about the topic, I realise that the naked baby bottom touches the change mat, and once dressed again, the clean clothed bottom also touches the change mat - there is the potential for contamination. So, I think it’s better to not seat a baby on the table, simply out of courtesy for others. BUT - I think this should apply to pretty much everything - handbags for example are regularly placed on toilet floors, on bus seats etc - and may carry a similar risk of contamination. ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/506 "2010-06-11T14:10:28Z")
> [@thirdwarning](#): > > …and the back of baby pants is just as clean (or not) as anything else that touches the table. Precisely. And here’s something that I don’t understand, and maybe **curlcoat** can help me out, after she sterilizes her keyboard because her next door neighbor sneezed. Suppose that a baby’s bottom is as dirty and germ-riddled as, say, **MeanOldLady** ’s colostomy bag. How are those germs to infect poor little ole **curlcoat**? Her food is presumably on a plate at sit-down restaurants, and even if we’re talking McDonalds, the food is (1) on a tray or in a to-go paper bag AND (2) in a cardboard container or a paper hamburger wrapper. The only way for her food to contact the baby’s assspawn (woo, triple ess) is for her to drop it on the table _and then proceed to eat it_. Which, of course, raises the question of who _really_ has the issue here :dubious: I suppose the other way for germs to get to food is for (a) toxic baby on the table, (b) hands touching the table and (c) hands touching the food. But it seems if that’s the case, the most easily avoided link in the chain is (b)! Not to mention that your hands are already fucking filthy from opening the door to McDonalds, touching the back of the booth as you sit down (or the chair as you pull it out; neither, ISTM, are cleaned as often as the tables), holding your tray, picking the underware (hat tip to **Lust4Life** for the improved spelling) out of your ass, etc. I know I must be missing something, because I read each and every one of the citations that **curlcoat** _et al._ provided demonstrating that baby asses are more lethal than anthrax (I did, really, every single word). But, because I’m missing something, it seems like someone putting a baby on a table for 10 seconds – or even 10 minutes – isn’t really that dangerous. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/507 "2010-06-11T14:27:38Z")
**quixotic78** , you’re totally forgetting that a baby (!) may have farted (!) in the same room (!) as these unwitting diners! EVERYTHING is contaminated!!! ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/508 "2010-06-11T14:40:29Z")
\*And the beach is a thing and the bees don’t sting Like complaining from a downtown whore I got my plasma patches and my hypodermic in hermetically sealed kid gloves Yeah tell me Dirty ass rock ‘n’ roll Dirty ass rock ‘n’ roll\* - John Cale ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/509 "2010-06-11T14:53:24Z")
> [@thirdwarning](#): > > Okay, so I will never sit my child anywhere that might possible offend anyone, ever again. (Not a big problem, since the youngest is 20.) I can’t guaranteee where they sit on their own, though. Sorry. > > So, how 'bout I put my purse down on the table instead? Or my forearms or elbows. You know, the ones that have been everywhere I’ve been today, including leaning on my desk at work, and hugging my husband. That’s not a problem, right? > > That pair of baby pants that I pulled out of the dryer just before we left home? I’m sure they’re just crawling with germs. > > In more than six years of dealing with diapered babies, I can remember one blowout that occured in public. And yes, that one I would have caught before it hit the table. Not that it was anywhere near a table. Obviously you don’t diaper a baby on the table, or even on the seat in the dining room. Nobody is saying you should. But the kind of ‘sitting on the table’ people are talking about is setting the little one down for a couple seconds while you do a quick shoe tie or put your billfold back into your purse. Nothing is going to happen in that length of time, and the back of baby pants is just as clean (or not) as anything else that touches the table. Well lets do a deal then. I’m quite happy to kiss your purse. And in exchange you can kiss my ass. I wont physically enjoy kissing your purse(or elbow, or forearms) but I can assure you it will be a much more pleasant experience for me then your experience of kissing my, or anyone elses backside. ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/510 "2010-06-11T15:00:21Z")
> [@C3](#): > > **quixotic78** , you’re totally forgetting that a baby (!) may have farted (!) in the same room (!) as these unwitting diners! EVERYTHING is contaminated!!! Damn, I did forget about **Lust4Life** ’s magical bacteria-bearing farts. And after s/he was so meticulous in documenting the phenomenon as well. I guess we’re all just lucky that only babies have this lethal gas, or else humanity would have died out a long time ago. ---
**Author:** ![Lust4Life](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ecc23a/32.png) [@Lust4Life](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lust4Life)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/511 "2010-06-11T16:20:35Z")
> [@quixotic78](#): > > Damn, I did forget about **Lust4Life** ’s magical bacteria-bearing farts. And after s/he was so meticulous in documenting the phenomenon as well. I guess we’re all just lucky that only babies have this lethal gas, or else humanity would have died out a long time ago. Come on, don’t be coy . What color panties are you wearing today ? Are they shit stained ? Oooh Ooh,gasp, gasp ! Fart for me baby you know you love it! ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/512 "2010-06-11T17:04:04Z")
The whole “I’ve mistaken quixotic78 as a female” thing has gotten to be really creepy and weird. I sure don’t get it. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/513 "2010-06-11T20:16:03Z")
> [@thirdwarning](#): > > So you do the dog owner equivalent of cloth diapers, essentially. Good for you. Now tell me everyone does the same. That has what to do with anything? If nothing else, there are far fewer dog poop bags in landfills than there are diapers. > [@](#): > > Hey, sillyness is sillyness, Yes, and your attempts to justify putting something that is meant to be shit in on a restaurant table are getting pretty silly. > [@](#): > > Just count me as one of those who doesn’t get bent out of shape about little stuff. That certainly hasn’t been shown here. > [@quixotic78](#): > > Precisely. And here’s something that I don’t understand, and maybe **curlcoat** can help me out, after she sterilizes her keyboard because her next door neighbor sneezed. This is one of those silly things. Why would you assume anyone is a germophobe simply because they don’t like the idea of shit on their table? > [@](#): > > Suppose that a baby’s bottom is as dirty and germ-riddled as, say, **MeanOldLady** ’s colostomy bag. How are those germs to infect poor little ole **curlcoat**? Her food is presumably on a plate at sit-down restaurants, and even if we’re talking McDonalds, the food is (1) on a tray or in a to-go paper bag AND (2) in a cardboard container or a paper hamburger wrapper. The only way for her food to contact the baby’s assspawn (woo, triple ess) is for her to drop it on the table _and then proceed to eat it_. Which, of course, raises the question of who _really_ has the issue here :dubious: Silverware touches the table. Perhaps you eat with your hands - I don’t. > [@](#): > > Not to mention that your hands are already fucking filthy from opening the door to McDonalds, I am not talking about McDonalds or any other fast food place here, since I do not eat in the store at those places, since they tend to be overrun with sticky children, rude teens and clueless parents. > [@](#): > > But, because I’m missing something, it seems like someone putting a baby on a table for 10 seconds – or even 10 minutes – isn’t really that dangerous. Well, if nothing else, you have missed that it is rude and unnecessary, but that of course doesn’t penetrate the brain of a parent like you. ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/514 "2010-06-11T21:04:24Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > This is one of those silly things. Why would you assume anyone is a germophobe simply because they don’t like the idea of shit on their table? Hmm… language like this (emphasis added): > [@curlcoat](#): > > I am not talking about McDonalds or any other fast food place here, since I do not eat in the store at those places, since they tend to be overrun with sticky children, rude teens and clueless parents. (You sound like an amazingly fun person to hang out with, BTW. Not at all priggish or holier-than-thou). Here’s another quote from you (note the subtle racism): > [@curlcoat](#): > > Since I live approximately 100 miles from a third world country, which sends tons of their people over the border and into my city at all times, it is not at all unreasonable to be concerned about what sorts of germs might be out there. Or one final one: > [@curlcoat](#): > > Yeah, no. Southern California. Hotbed of all kinds of yucky human borne disease! Yeah, you sound totally reasonable. Not a germaphobe at all… :rolleyes: > [@](#): > > Silverware touches the table. Perhaps you eat with your hands - I don’t. Funny, all the sit-down restaurants I’ve been to, the silverware is on napkins, not the table itself. Occasionally, at buffets (which I’m sure you shun because they’re dirty, of course, but if you don a Hazmat suit you can verify for yourself) the silverware is in centrally located bins, at which point it’s incumbent upon you to keep it off the table. > [@](#): > > Well, if nothing else, you have missed that it is rude and unnecessary, but that of course doesn’t penetrate the brain of a parent like you. I’ve already told you that I find it necessary – you disagree, but that means about as much to me as a butterfly fart – and as **WhyNot** has pointed out repeatedly, it’s not universally acknowledged as rude at all. So really… you’ve got nothing. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [June 11, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/515 "2010-06-11T21:27:43Z")
I really wish it were more practical for me to ship my (forthcoming) baby’s loaded, disposable diapers to California landfills. As close to **curlcoat** ’s place as I can manage. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/516 "2010-06-12T01:05:20Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > This is one of those silly things. Why would you assume anyone is a germophobe simply because they don’t like the idea of shit on their table? Nobody likes shit on their table. Nobody really likes germs either. The problem arises when you dramatically overestimate the risk and change your behavior as a result. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/517 "2010-06-12T02:03:47Z")
> [@quixotic78](#): > > Hmm… language like this (emphasis added): Sticky children equals germs in your mind? A person who doesn’t wish to get sticky is a germophobe? > [@](#): > > (You sound like an amazingly fun person to hang out with, BTW. Not at all priggish or holier-than-thou). Here’s another quote from you (note the subtle racism): Since when is it racist to be aware that diseases/infections that are essentially unknown in first world countries tend to be an issue in third world countries? Or do you disagree that Mexico is third world? > [@](#): > > Or one final one: You disagree? Hard to understand why you think that one is racist tho, and kinda funny that you are soooo sensitive about others - except when it might inconvenience you. > [@](#): > > Funny, all the sit-down restaurants I’ve been to, the silverware is on napkins, not the table itself. When you sit down, do you leave the napkin on the table top? > [@](#): > > I’ve already told you that I find it necessary No, you haven’t. Necessary would be if it would be impossible to do whateveritis without sitting the kid on the table. Since thousands of parents are able to put on coats/shoes, wipe noses, dig thru purses and whatever the other excuses were without sitting their kids on the table, it is obviously _not_ necessary to do so. > [@](#): > > **WhyNot** has pointed out repeatedly, it’s not universally acknowledged as rude at all. So really… you’ve got nothing. I don’t think there is anything that is considered universally rude. However, in polite company in most if not all of the US, it is considered rude to sit on a table in a restaurant (other than fast food I suppose) no matter what your age is. > [@Maeglin](#): > > I really wish it were more practical for me to ship my (forthcoming) baby’s loaded, disposable diapers to California landfills. As close to **curlcoat** ’s place as I can manage. Yet another example of the consideration of parents. Fortunately for me, I live no where near a landfill. > [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > The problem arises when you dramatically overestimate the risk and change your behavior as a result. When did I do that? ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 2:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/518 "2010-06-12T02:15:19Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > I don’t think there is anything that is considered universally rude. However, in polite company in most if not all of the US, it is considered rude to sit on a table in a restaurant (other than fast food I suppose) no matter what your age is. No. It’s not. I’ve provided one nationally airing television ad showing it as within the bounds of at least casual etiquette. Of course ads aren’t accurate portrayals of real life…but outside of comedy, cultural taboos are still followed. You’ve shown us absolutely nothing to support your opinion, either on hygiene or on manners. I mean, Jesus Christ, woman! Open a Poll or something. It wouldn’t begin to approach scientific validity, but it would be something more than you’ve got. But you’re not actually concerned with being factually correct, are you? ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/519 "2010-06-12T02:30:39Z")
> [@WhyNot](#): > > I’ve provided one nationally airing television ad showing it as within the bounds of at least casual etiquette. Of course ads aren’t accurate portrayals of real life…but outside of comedy, cultural taboos are still followed. As I said, I wasn’t able to see the ad, but I understood that the setting was someone’s home. > [@](#): > > You’ve shown us absolutely nothing to support your opinion, either on hygiene or on manners. Simply because you don’t agree doesn’t mean I haven’t shown anything. > [@](#): > > I mean, Jesus Christ, woman! Open a Poll or something. It wouldn’t begin to approach scientific validity, but it would be something more than you’ve got. But you’re not actually concerned with being factually correct, are you? :rolleyes: You do know that factually correct and using TV ads for examples aren’t exactly the same thing, right? As for the poll, since I am comfortable with my position, I’m not out looking for supporters. ---
**Author:** ![quixotic78](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/3ab097/32.png) [@quixotic78](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/quixotic78)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2010, 2:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/520 "2010-06-12T02:39:15Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Since when is it racist to be aware that diseases/infections that are essentially unknown in first world countries tend to be an issue in third world countries? Or do you disagree that Mexico is third world? Actually, yes, I do disagree that Mexico is a third world country, as the term no longer has any meaning since the fall of the Soviet Union. You might want to look into a modern alternative, such as the Human Development Index, where Mexico is in the High Human Development camp (second highest). [Other members](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_Human_Development_Index) of this category include Saudi Arabia, Bulgaria, Romania, St. Lucia, Turkey, and Russia – all of which are, by this measure, less developed than Mexico. (BTW, those blue words are signify what is colloquially called a “cite.” You might try one sometime). > [@](#): > > > [@](#): > > > > Southern California. Hotbed of all kinds of yucky human borne disease! > > You disagree? Yes. I lived in San Diego for four years in the mid-90s, and it doesn’t seem any more disease ridden than the other places I’ve lived in the US. > [@](#): > > When you sit down, do you leave the napkin on the table top? Until my food arrives, yes, at which point the napkin goes on my lap and the silverware goes in my hands or on the plate. > [@](#): > > No, you haven’t. Necessary would be if it would be impossible to do whateveritis without sitting the kid on the table. Since thousands of parents are able to put on coats/shoes, wipe noses, dig thru purses and whatever the other excuses were without sitting their kids on the table, it is obviously _not_ necessary to do so. Well bully for those thousands of parents. I’m not them, so they count for exactly dick. There are thousands of people who can do square roots of large numbers in their heads. I’m not one of them, so a calculator is necessary for me. Similarly, I can’t wipe my daughter’s nose while holding her, so it’s necessary for me to put her down. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435.md?page=25) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435.md?page=27)