# Get your baby's dirty ass off the restaurant table! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435 "2010-05-23T03:58:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/101 "2010-05-23T19:41:44Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > Where do you all live that you are seeing all these diaper-only clad children sitting on tables? I can’t recall ever seeing that in a public eatery. Is it a southern thing? I don’t know if its ONLY a southern thing, butt being a resident of the southeast, you definitely see diapers only children on fairly regular basis down here. Diapers, plus a t shirt is even more common. I wouldnt go so far as to say its common, butt it certainly isnt OMG rare either. And its the heat. In more casual settings, your lucky if the kid is even wearing diapers sometimes. At which point, all the adult males get woodies and have to leave the scene… ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/102 "2010-05-23T20:07:04Z")
> [@The\_Tao\_s\_Revenge](#): > > Don’t crap where you eat. It’s right up there with the golden rule, and if not it should be. Bingo. My dogs don’t shit where they eat. My cat’s don’t either. I expect the same consideration from humans. Sheess. My dogs have better manners than some folks in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Ogre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/ecb155/32.png) [@Ogre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ogre)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/103 "2010-05-23T20:09:40Z")
The SDMB is nothing more than a perpetual tempest in a teapot these days. Seriously? A multi-page debate about diapers? :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/104 "2010-05-23T20:24:11Z")
> [@Ogre](#): > > The SDMB is nothing more than a perpetual tempest in a teapot these days. Seriously? A multi-page debate about diapers? :rolleyes: It probably wouldn’t have been so long if **Diogenes** hadn’t parked his ass in here. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/105 "2010-05-23T20:28:09Z")
> [@pabstist](#): > > What the fuck? What rational human being would let their kid in a dirty diaper sit on the middle of a restaurant table? I witnessed this today, and a number of times in the memorable past. Maybe he was trying to reach the White Russian he ordered that the waitress had placed in the middle of the table. Did you ever think of that? > [@billfish678](#): > > And I don’t his ass on or at my table either… _“I don’ting your ass.”_ It’ll never catch on. ---
**Author:** ![FloatyGimpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/floatygimpy/32/7750_2.png) [@FloatyGimpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FloatyGimpy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/106 "2010-05-23T21:04:41Z")
> [@Labrador\_Deceiver](#): > > The baby in the second picture is wearing more than a diaper. A lot of people see kids wearing diaper covers or onesies think they are looking at a baby in a diaper. I can see the blue top of the diaper, he isn’t wearing anything else over top of it. ---
**Author:** ![Lunchy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Lunchy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lunchy)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/107 "2010-05-23T21:48:44Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > Where do you all live that you are seeing all these diaper-only clad children sitting on tables? I can’t recall ever seeing that in a public eatery. Is it a southern thing? > > I also got the sense that the open did not mean soiled, but rather had a hyper dainty impression of any children wearing diapers. > > What about teenage girls sitting on tables? I’ve seen that way more often. Is that an epidemic too? Well if teenage female started having bowel control problems and wearing any less than 2 articles of clothing before sitting on aforementioned table. Then sure. I like your attempt with the comparison, but your just reachin’. ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/108 "2010-05-23T22:58:03Z")
> [@Lunchy](#): > > Well if teenage female started having bowel control problems and wearing any less than 2 articles of clothing before sitting on aforementioned table. Then sure. > > I like your attempt with the comparison, but your just reachin’. no, I’m not. Perhaps you didn’t understand my post. I don’t believe the op meant that the diapers were literally soiled. Yes, diapers should be changed when they are soiled. They should not be changed on the table. ---
**Author:** ![Leaper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/4bbf92/32.png) [@Leaper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaper)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2010, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/109 "2010-05-23T23:04:47Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > At least the baby wasn’t wearing [these](http://cellar.org/2003/kaidangku.jpg). [Or these.](http://snltranscripts.jt.org/03/03ahuggies.phtml) ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/110 "2010-05-24T00:11:34Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > I’m not sure why you think this is a great defense – if you’re not trolling (and I believe you when you say you’re not), the only other option is that you’re a threadjacking attention-whoring retard. > > Seriously, you’ve been doing this more and more lately and it’s annoying as fuck. Waltz into a thread, make a bunch of absolute statements about how things are (dismissing all posts which claim evidence to the contrary as wrong or untrue), and now the rest of the thread is the Diogenes Show. > > **Just shut the fuck up, you blowhard moron!** If you want to whack off over the glory of your ineffable rightness, get a blog. You can even put a mirror in front of the computer so you can pose and admire your awesomeness between posts. I have to say that I agree. It’s just making it really unpleasant to read threads here lately. Pages and pages of people saying “Something happened to me one time” and this guy bickering back and forth that it can’t be true because he hasn’t experienced it. **ENOUGH**. Also, runnerpat didn’t say that he called the health dept and they ran down to the store, slapped a padlock on the door and flogged the person who changed a baby on the meat counter. He said he made a call. How is that an arguable point? He called. The end. The speculation about whether or not a particular health dept somewhere in the US would actually do anything has fuck all to do with this thread at all, and yet there is post after post about it. STFU already! Also, I feel like I just now realized the kind of person they make that Shake Weight for. Jesus what a jerkoff fest every thread he posts in lately is. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/111 "2010-05-24T00:30:04Z")
Its simple no matter how cute you think your kid is sitting in a bag of shit on a table, I dont want your kid sitting on the table I’m about to eat off of in a bag of shit strapped around his/her waist. ---
**Author:** ![pabstist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e99b99/32.png) [@pabstist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pabstist)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/112 "2010-05-24T00:56:01Z")
I never thought this would blow up so fast! 3 pages in less than a day! The latest restaurant was a Subway in a gas station. I had to personally wipe the crumbs and food debris off the table before we could eat. So it’s not like they rush out to clean/sanitize the tables after every diner leaves. The time before was at a McDonalds, same deal with a dirty table. Should I go on, it’s always the same situation. Never at a nice restaurant, mind you. Maybe it’s the clientele, maybe it’s the mindset of how nice of an eatery it is that decides what parents do. So yeah, I don’t want a babies ass on the table before I eat, dirty diaper or not, pants or not, etc. It’s just gross. And thanks for bringing up changing babies on the table, I’ve never seen that or thought about it. I shall never eat away from home again! What’s wrong with people?! ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/113 "2010-05-24T00:59:58Z")
I saw the baby being changed in a Perkins – not real upscale, but with table service and wait staff etc. None of the staff did anything about it. I’ve only seen that once, which was one more than I needed to. ---
**Author:** ![MTCicero](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a4c791/32.png) [@MTCicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MTCicero)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/114 "2010-05-24T01:16:07Z")
> [@Ibanez](#): > > Its simple no matter how cute you think your kid is sitting in a bag of shit on a table, I dont want your kid sitting on the table I’m about to eat off of in a bag of shit strapped around his/her waist. And, for god’s sake, _take his warning seriously_! If you don’t, he may pound your head into the table! (This applies, of course, to the mentally challenged only.) ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/115 "2010-05-24T01:43:11Z")
Well of course on another message board I saw there was the mummy that asked todler son to pee into sink in ladies toilet, and another one that asked son to pee into rubbish bin, then for kicks the parents that asked son to pee into fruit bag in the middle of the supermarket. (the latter I have seen, the second I saw the pix, the first I don’t doubt) Then of course I did hear one story about parents asking 3 yr old son to pee in corner of the train:rolleyes: Finally I did witness one incident at the local public pool, mummy helping son to pee into the drain that runs around the side of the pool (she pulled out the leg of the swimming trunks to allow him to aim). nd Now this one, I realise that in the great scheme doesn’t really matter, but at least please be disceet about it yeah? As to the OP, get over yourself, its not the end of the world and if you want a sterile environment when you go out wear a bubble. ---
**Author:** ![Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/heffalump_and_roo/32/7691_2.png) [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Heffalump_and_Roo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/116 "2010-05-24T01:45:20Z")
> [@pabstist](#): > > So yeah, I don’t want a babies ass on the table before I eat, dirty diaper or not, pants or not, etc. It’s just gross. If that’s the case, then I agree with **WhyNot** and **Diogenes the Cynic** that a fully clothed baby with a clean diaper sitting on a table doesn’t bother me. \*\* pabstist\*\*, if a grown person were sitting on a picnic table or on an outside table, would that bother you also? ---
**Author:** ![Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hentor_the_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/117 "2010-05-24T01:56:43Z")
> [@pabstist](#): > > So yeah, I don’t want a babies ass on the table before I eat, dirty diaper or not, pants or not, etc. It’s just gross. And thanks for bringing up changing babies on the table, I’ve never seen that or thought about it. I shall never eat away from home again! What’s wrong with people?! So, now that we’re clear, is everyone still behind Adrian Monk here? No clean, clothed, clean diaper wearing babies on tables? Some advice? If you’re scared, stay home. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/118 "2010-05-24T01:58:06Z")
> [@Heffalump\_and\_Roo](#): > > If that’s the case, then I agree with **WhyNot** and **Diogenes the Cynic** that a fully clothed baby with a clean diaper sitting on a table doesn’t bother me. Babies spontaneously shit and pee themselves. The shit is often as liquidy as the pee. Diapers do not have hermetic seals. The clean diaper was likely handled by the same hands that handled the previous shit and pee ladened diaper it replaced. Hi Opal. Yeah, you aint going to die. But, IMO its about on the same level as not washing your hands after going to the bathroom in public places. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/119 "2010-05-24T01:59:45Z")
> [@bengangmo](#): > > Well of course on another message board I saw there was the mummy that asked todler son to pee into sink in ladies toilet, and another one that asked son to pee into rubbish bin, then for kicks the parents that asked son to pee into fruit bag in the middle of the supermarket. (the latter I have seen, the second I saw the pix, the first I don’t doubt) Are you saying that you’ve seen someone tell their son to pee into a bag in the middle of a store? What. The. Fuck. ---
**Author:** ![bengangmo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/50afbb/32.png) [@bengangmo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bengangmo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/120 "2010-05-24T02:07:03Z")
> [@AClockworkMelon](#): > > Are you saying that you’ve seen someone tell their son to pee into a bag in the middle of a store? What. The. Fuck. Yep I have seen exactly that. And not only once. I have also seen the parents asking the 8-10 yr old kid to quickly empty the drink bottle so little brother could pee into it. And yes - it really was in the middle of a supermarket. Was a real roll eyes moment for me - and I am not one of those germophobe types - hey, after all what doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger and my skin doesn’t dissolve on contact with germs. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435.md?page=7)