# Get your baby's dirty ass off the restaurant table! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 23, 2010, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435 "2010-05-23T03:58:54Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 8
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/141 "2010-05-24T03:30:20Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Wow, we made it all the way to the #6 post before some parent came in with the “my child shits rainbows” nonsense. Must be a record. Nobody has defended shit on the table. > [@](#): > > Depends on where you are. For example, this is not true of McDonalds. Yes it is. > [@](#): > > So, you are admitting that having a baby sit on the table results in germs? Everything results in germs. Everythi ng you tounch is already covered with germs. A baby’s clothed, diapered ass is probably less germy than a person’s bare hands and elbows. They all wipe the tables down with bleach water anyway. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/142 "2010-05-24T03:30:43Z")
> [@Hentor\_the\_Barbarian](#): > > Look, this is the bottom line: if you really think that a clean baby, wearing clean clothes over a clean diaper is at risk to suddenly explode and leak waste of any kind on any thing, then you are a complete tard and should be staying home to spare everyone else from your hyper-dainty obsessive compulsive tardness. Look, this is the bottom line (HA! bottom…) If you really think that _every_ baby out there is clean and wearing clean clothes over a clean diaper, and/or that every baby out there is in no way a leak risk, then you are a complete tard (or at the very least have no experience in the issue), and should be shutting up on a subject you obviously don’t understand. Fact - not all parents are good parents. Those who think they are entitled to use a public table as a chair do not tend to be good parents in other areas. Such as bothering to change their kid when they mess their diaper, or bothering to get diapers that actually fit if they have leftovers of the smaller size, or bothering to replace plastic pants when they start to wear and leak. Come on, use your brain - there are parents out there who see nothing wrong with their kid shitting in the McDonalds PlayPlace! ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/143 "2010-05-24T03:32:35Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > I don’t care about clean babies. I saw people defending changing diapers on tables on this discussion. Who did that? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/144 "2010-05-24T03:35:05Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > A = changing a diaper. No, A = sitting a clothed baby on the table. No one in this thread jhas defended changing a baby. That’s a completely irrelevant red herring. The only thing I’ve defended is sitting a panted, diapered baby on the table while I tie her shoes or put on her coat or whatever. RTFT before you post, man. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/145 "2010-05-24T03:36:33Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Yes it is. What McDonald’s do you go to? Where I’m at the people working there don’t clean the tables between each patron. A dozen people might eat there before there’s a big enough mess to warrant a cleaning. ---
**Author:** ![kidchameleon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/898d66/32.png) [@kidchameleon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kidchameleon)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/146 "2010-05-24T03:37:37Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > They all wipe the tables down with bleach water anyway. Glad you’ve been to them all. Of all the restaurants in Rhode Island, which is your favorite? ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/147 "2010-05-24T03:37:57Z")
> [@cricetus](#): > > You came off as defending it because somebody described it and you said “so what,” No I didn’t. I said “so what” about simply sitting a baby on the table. Me saying the Health Department isn’t going to kill themselves rushing out to investigate a report of someone changing a baby on a meat table is not the same thing as defending the act. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/148 "2010-05-24T03:39:11Z")
> [@kidchameleon](#): > > Glad you’ve been to them all. Of all the restaurants in Rhode Island, which is your favorite? The fast food chains all have the same mandated procedures. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/149 "2010-05-24T03:39:23Z")
This is like taking tabasco from a child while spilling the white russian left on the table by the waitress who has been abused by men who post here, and shit. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/150 "2010-05-24T03:40:51Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Those who think they are entitled to use a public table as a chair do not tend to be good parents in other areas. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/151 "2010-05-24T03:42:16Z")
I’ll admit I read this at a glance. Frankly, it struck me as such an insane discussion I didn’t want to read it. I’m not much improved for having done so. But I am much relieved that changing on a restaurant table is still considered taboo. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/152 "2010-05-24T03:43:20Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > I always wondered why some people treated the “paper or plastic” question so seriously. > > Now I know. Ew, gross 😃 > [@bengangmo](#): > > Actually I would have sat my kid on the table at home if the need arose. The only thing that would stop me would be if I weren’t there to stop her from falling. > > I have sat on the table at home (also stood on it when the need arose). > > When I was young, it wasn’t uncommon to bathe a baby in the kitchen sink. > > Nobody I know has died from this yet. I probably wouldn’t die from a dose of e coli or salmonella, but I wouldn’t sign up for either one, and would appreciate you putting your kid in a chair rather than a table. That said, I am still trying to figure out why one would _need_ to sit or stand (:eek:) a child on a table anywhere. > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Nobody has defended shit on the table. What you quoted didn’t say anything about shit on tables. > [@](#): > > Yes it is. You, sir, are a twit. In a busy McDonalds, there are times when the tables aren’t even cleared between uses, much less sanitized. Way back in the day when I worked there, the tables were sanitized in the true meaning of the word after we closed, not ever during the day, and from observation it appears this is still true. I dare you to prove the ridiculous idea that all McDonalds \*sanitize \*all tables between uses. > [@](#): > > Everything results in germs. There is a broad range of germs - the very nasty ones that are possible in human feces do not belong on a table. > [@](#): > > A baby’s clothed, diapered ass is probably less germy than a person’s bare hands and elbows. Well, since someone’s bare hands clothed and diapered that ass… Besides, the original rant was about an unclothed diaper. > [@](#): > > They all wipe the tables down with bleach water anyway. Prove it. I know by observation that this isn’t true. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/153 "2010-05-24T03:44:41Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The fast food chains all have the same mandated procedures. Cite? > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Everything results in germs. Everythi ng you tounch is already covered with germs. Cite? > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > They all wipe the tables down with bleach water anyway. Cite? ---
**Author:** ![tnetennba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7993a0/32.png) [@tnetennba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tnetennba)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/154 "2010-05-24T03:47:04Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > .. the Health Department isn’t going to kill themselves rushing out to investigate a report of someone changing a baby on a meat table… Cite? I don’t think that having worked in a restaurant gives me any authority over what public health inspectors do, but I have called the state health restaurant hotline and they seemed to be pretty serious about fielding those calls and following up. ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/155 "2010-05-24T03:47:16Z")
My shit is my cite and shit and cite. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/156 "2010-05-24T03:49:12Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > The fast food chains all have the same mandated procedures. It doesn’t mean they are followed at all times > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > Cite? That is something called an observation, which really cannot be cited. Do you wish to admit that your proclamations of fact are actually opinions based on personal observation? It might be a good out for you… ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/157 "2010-05-24T03:55:00Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > There is a broad range of germs - the very nasty ones that are possible in human feces do not belong on a table. What feces? No one has defended feces on the table, or changing a baby on the table. A baby’s pants coming in contact with a table is no worse than someone’s hat or gloves or coat coming in contact with the table. Actually, a pair of gloves are probably a lot dirtier. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/158 "2010-05-24T03:57:28Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > That is something called an observation, which really cannot be cited. No it isn’t. It doesn’t rise to the level of an observation. You have not observed that all parents who sit their kids on a table to tie their shoes are bad parents. You’re just talking out of your ass,. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/159 "2010-05-24T04:07:55Z")
Whoa! Dueling observations !! ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2010, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435/160 "2010-05-24T04:08:22Z")
> [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > What feces? No one has defended feces on the table, or changing a baby on the table. A baby’s pants coming in contact with a table is no worse than someone’s hat or gloves or coat coming in contact with the table. There is no potential (or at least, so little as to approach none) of feces (or urine, remember that stuff?) coming out of a hat, gloves or coat. No matter how you want to spin it, a used diaper is always going to be dirtier and more probably germ-ier than a hat, gloves, coat. And any diaper is either currently used or could be used at any time. Or, have you never cared for children of diapered age? Is this all because you have no real idea of what they do in diapers and what happens afterwards? :dubious: > [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](#): > > No it isn’t. It doesn’t rise to the level of an observation. You have not observed that all parents who sit their kids on a table to tie their shoes are bad parents. You’re just talking out of your ass,. Actually, you are since I didn’t say anything about _all_ parents - “tend to be” does not in any way mean “all”. Unless you are agreeing that all parents who do something as inconsiderate as sitting a kid on a table for a stupid reason like tying shoes are bad parents? Don’t think I didn’t notice that you ignored requests for cites that tables are always bleached between uses. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435.md?page=7) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-babys-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/540435.md?page=9)