# get your dogs dirty ass off the restaurant table! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 17, 2011, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865 "2011-10-17T01:13:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![pabstist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/e99b99/32.png) [@pabstist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pabstist)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/1 "2011-10-17T01:13:21Z")
Yeah it’s me, the guy that pitted parents who put babies in dirty diapers on restaurant tables. Why do I go out to eat? Went out to lunch yesterday, sat inside by the windows. Looked outside, and 4 women were sitting at a table. Then I realized they had a little doggie walking around on the table! WTF? People eat food at that table. The table had a dog butthole on it every time it sat down. A wormy, dirty, doggie stink hole kept touching the surface that people put their hands, cutlery, napkins, etc down on. At least they were stopped by an employee pretty quick. Maybe because of me complaining very loudly. Ohhhh, I can’t wait for folks to tell me I’m over reacting and it’s just a cute dog in a sweater. And that dog poop chutes are clean because they lick them all the time. And don’t tell me it’s OK because they clean the table with bleach- it was a wooden picnic table. And yes, I have a dog. That stays on the ground, at home, never taken to a restaurant. What the hell is wrong with people? It’s a dog, not a fashion accessory, not a baby in a diaper, not a toy. It’s a dog. Dogs are animals, even if they do have a sweater on. Idjits. ---
**Author:** ![Procrustus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/procrustus/32/2994_2.png) [@Procrustus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Procrustus)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/2 "2011-10-17T01:16:48Z")
This wouldn’t happen if they declawed the beasts first. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 1:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/3 "2011-10-17T01:23:22Z")
Prozac, maybe? Decaf? You’re not eating at the table so why get so wound up? Who gives a shit? Of course the fucking dog shouldn’t be on the table but I can’t see shitting my pants over it. ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/4 "2011-10-17T01:30:31Z")
> [@BlankSlate](#): > > Prozac, maybe? Decaf? You’re not eating at the table so why get so wound up? Who gives a shit? Of course the fucking dog shouldn’t be on the table **but I can’t see shitting my pants over it.** You’d better not. The people at the next table will complain. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Meyer6](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/cc9497/32.png) [@Meyer6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meyer6)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/5 "2011-10-17T01:52:19Z")
God forbid someone ruin the spotless sanctity of the average wooden outdoor picnic table. You do realize that birds regularly shit on those, right? ---
**Author:** ![kanicbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/5f8ce5/32.png) [@kanicbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kanicbird)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/6 "2011-10-17T01:53:49Z")
I personally find this much worse then the baby changing at the table issue. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/7 "2011-10-17T02:17:58Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > I personally find this much worse then the baby changing at the table issue. You shouldn’t, since you are more likely to get a disease or parasite from the baby than from the dog. However, the dog shouldn’t be walking on the table. OTOH, an outside table probably does get bird shit on it… ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/8 "2011-10-17T02:59:45Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > You shouldn’t, since you are more likely to get a disease or parasite from the baby than from the dog. Cite for this quite remarkable factoid please. Or did you just make it up on the spot? How many babies have parasites? Quite a lot you’d say? What is the frequency of roundworm infection in dogs? (hint [Roundworms](http://www.petside.com/condition/dog/roundworms-canine) are a very common intestinal parasite. A survey of national shelters found that 36 percent of dogs nationwide and 52 percent of dogs in southeastern states were infected with parasites. By the way, Canine roundworms can cause Ocular larva migrans in humans. This occurs when roundworm larvae migrate into the eye; this occurs most commonly in children 6-14 years old. It is a very serious disease and can cause blindness if not promptly treated. Just because you apparently think babies are vile disgusting parasite filled creatures is not a valid reason to make shit up. ---
**Author:** ![Farmer\_Jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Farmer\_Jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Farmer_Jane)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/9 "2011-10-17T03:02:52Z")
Reason #405 why I prefer my six year old to owning a dog. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/10 "2011-10-17T03:09:45Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Cite for this quite remarkable factoid please. You aren’t aware that a fellow human has the potential for more contagious to humans diseases and parasites than a dog would? Also, the dog was walking on the table, not having it’s diaper (apparently filled with bodily waste) changed there. Try logic instead of emotional overreaction. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/11 "2011-10-17T03:22:21Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > You aren’t aware that a fellow human has the potential for more contagious to humans diseases and parasites than a dog would? Also, the dog was walking on the table, not having it’s diaper (apparently filled with bodily waste) changed there. > > Try logic instead of emotional overreaction. Yes, I would like an unemotional cite of the common parasites that you could get from a baby human. I gave you a cite that found that “a survey of national shelters found that 36 percent of dogs nationwide and 52 percent of dogs in southeastern states were infected with parasites.” Other than roundworms that you can get from a dogs bare ass on a table where you eat, you could also commonly get Ringworm and Sarcoptic mange from a dog. What parasites are transmitted by babies, and exactly how common are they? Cites please. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/12 "2011-10-17T04:30:11Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Yes, I would like an unemotional cite of the common parasites that you could get from a baby human. > > I gave you a cite that found that “a survey of national shelters found that 36 percent of dogs nationwide and 52 percent of dogs in southeastern states were infected with parasites.” > > Other than roundworms that you can get from a dogs bare ass on a table where you eat, you could also commonly get Ringworm and Sarcoptic mange from a dog. > > What parasites are transmitted by babies, and exactly how common are they? > > Cites please. Sorry, not going to waste my time on idiotic passive aggression. Have a nice night. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/13 "2011-10-17T04:44:00Z")
> [@curlcoat](#): > > Sorry, not going to waste my time on idiotic passive aggression. Have a nice night. Have a nice time running away from your obviously made up and idiotic claim. ETA: I love the Starving Artist approach of running away and claiming victory. Next time try blaming hippies from the 60’s for your own idiocy. ---
**Author:** ![flatlined](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/eb9ed0/32.png) [@flatlined](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flatlined)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/14 "2011-10-17T04:44:48Z")
I have to say that I’d much rather eat on a picnic table that had a dog walking around than a shitty diaper changed. I’m pretty good with cleaning up critter shit, unless its rat shit in an infested warehouse. I’ve never gotten ringworm from dogs. Got it once from a public toilet. I will be the first to say that I have issues, but human fecal waste on a table grosses me out a lot more than animal waste. ---
**Author:** ![curlcoat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ea5d25/32.png) [@curlcoat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/curlcoat)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/15 "2011-10-17T04:56:35Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Have a nice time running away from your obviously made up and idiotic claim. Not me, I just don’t feel like doing a bunch of work to show you something you already know - shoot you included some of it in your own post! I’m sorry you are unable to prove whatever point you thought you were going to, but pretending you don’t know anything about the multitude of diseases and parasites that people can pass on to each other, while listing a few yourself, well if it isn’t idiocy… ---
**Author:** ![armedmonkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/d6d6ee/32.png) [@armedmonkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/armedmonkey)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/16 "2011-10-17T05:31:50Z")
> [@Euphonious\_Polemic](#): > > Yes, I would like an unemotional cite of the common parasites that you could get from a baby human. Some diseases off the top of my head spread through human fecal contact: Hepatitis A e coli menengitis Clostridium dificile Polio Giardia Rotavirus Dysentery Cholera I’m sure I missed a bunch, though. And don’t be stupid, buddy. You are more likely to contract a disease from another human than literally everything else. That’s epedemiology 101. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/17 "2011-10-17T06:25:30Z")
Hmmmm, while I wouldn’t get my panties in a bunch, I can see this as being a bit disturbing. Now if it’s a public picnic bench, that’s one thing, but this is at a restaurant that just happens to have outdoor seating. I wouldn’t want bird poop, baby poop, or any other kind of poopy-area being in contact with these tables. ---
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/18 "2011-10-17T07:15:35Z")
I eat mostly at the sorts of restaurants where you carry your food on a tray to your table. Whether I eat indoors or outdoors (but especially outdoors), I never take the food or utensils off the tray. Or, sometimes, I spread a few napkins on the table and put the plate and utensils on that. That said, lemme just remark that wherever I go, I’d rather have more dogs and fewer people around. They’re mostly better behaved, and they’re pettable! ---
**Author:** ![Cicero](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cicero/32/3594_2.png) [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 11:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/19 "2011-10-17T11:18:00Z")
I’d suggest the OP doesn’t visit Paris anytime soon. Dog shit capital of the world. ---
**Author:** ![Euphonious\_Polemic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/euphonious_polemic/32/3002_2.png) [@Euphonious\_Polemic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Euphonious_Polemic)\ **Post date:** [October 17, 2011, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865/20 "2011-10-17T14:43:34Z")
> [@A Monkey With a Gun](#): > > Some diseases off the top of my head spread through human fecal contact: > > Hepatitis A > e coli > menengitis > Clostridium dificile > Polio > Giardia > Rotavirus > Dysentery > Cholera > > I’m sure I missed a bunch, though. > > And don’t be stupid, buddy. You are more likely to contract a disease from another human than literally everything else. That’s epedemiology 101. The problem is with Curlcoat lumping parasites in with the diseases that humans commonly pass along, and seemingly pretending that animals do not pass zoonotic diseases on to humans. So I’ll ask you - how common is it for parasites to be passed from human to human (in the developed world, since presumably that is where the OP is living, given that dogs are wearing tiny sweaters) Do 56% of babies in the United States typically carry an intestinal parasite load? [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-dogs-dirty-ass-off-the-restaurant-table/599865.md?page=2)