# Get your fresh, hot evil glurge right here! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 25, 2002, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830 "2002-06-25T04:26:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![flodnak](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/838e76/32.png) [@flodnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/flodnak)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/21 "2002-06-25T15:40:14Z")
At the risk of reading too much into this piece o’crap: All three of them are in the water, being tossed around by the waves &c., correct? So what the hell difference does it make if the father has a rescue line? A rescue line only helps if the person holding it is in a safe place. What would have really happened is that the father and whichever boy was on the other end of the line would have been swept out to sea together. Stupid glurgers. ---
**Author:** ![Finagle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b19c9b/32.png) [@Finagle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Finagle)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/22 "2002-06-25T15:49:09Z")
Question for sailors – this particular ship of fools was sailing off the Pacific coast “when a fast approaching storm blocked any attempt to get back to the shore.” Doesn’t bad weather generally come from the west on the Pacific coast? And isn’t the shore usually to the east? How realistic is the situation described? ---
**Author:** ![ultrafilter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/3d9bf3/32.png) [@ultrafilter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ultrafilter)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/23 "2002-06-25T15:50:06Z")
I’m so glad that no one I know sends me glurge any more (I cured 'em all, I did). God help the person who sends me this. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/24 "2002-06-25T16:20:28Z")
Throw out the life-line a-cross the dark wave There is a broth-er whom some-one should save, Some-bod-y’s broth-er! Oh, who then will dare to throw out the life-line, his per-il to share? chorus Throw out the life-line! Throw out the life-line! Some-one is drift-ing a-w-ay. Throw out the life-line! Throw out the life-line! Some-one is sink-ing to-day." Now this is going through my head. You are evil, **throatshot**. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/25 "2002-06-25T16:27:45Z")
I’m with **Finagle** : trust in God, but wear your damn lifejacket! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a few “Drown a Christian for Jesus” bumper stickers to print up… ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/26 "2002-06-25T16:42:54Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Finagle \* > \*\*So I’m supposed to take moral guidance from someone too stupid to bring lifejackets when sailing and to pass them out when the weather gets rough? \*\* C’mon, this was back in the days before lifejackets (and weather reporters), but obviously just after blood thirsty lawyers entered the scene. This is the real reason he saved the other kid: fear of litigation. The Christian angle was a later rationalization. It came in e-mail, ergo it must be true! ---
**Author:** ![jk1245](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/49beb7/32.png) [@jk1245](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jk1245)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 5:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/27 "2002-06-25T17:14:31Z")
must…reach…insulin…injection… Notice the old man didn’t have his wife with him. Bet she kicked his ass to the curb as soon as she found out he: 1. took kids boating w/out lifejackets 2. didn’t bother to check weather reports 3. let his only son drown The other ending to the story is that he gets to heaven only to find his son filling in for St Peter that day. “Sorry Dad, this other guy is more in need of saving. Hey, that sounds familiar!” ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/28 "2002-06-25T17:35:37Z")
Feeling… woozy… ☹ Esprix ---
**Author:** ![Bryan\_Ekers](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bryan_ekers/32/183_2.png) [@Bryan\_Ekers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bryan_Ekers)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/29 "2002-06-25T17:44:50Z")
Hey, it’s a powerful tool for atheists: “Hey, Jesus-boy, I’m not Christian, but give me $50 in the hopes I might be some day. Hey, Jesus-boy, loan me your car…” ---
**Author:** ![elf6c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c57346/32.png) [@elf6c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elf6c)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/30 "2002-06-25T17:57:28Z")
The moral of the story- if your dad is a christian, its best to not have any friends. . . . :smack: :smack: :smack: ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/31 "2002-06-25T18:52:14Z")
A priest lost at sea decided that if he was going to live it was going to be because the Lord decided to save him. He prayed constantly that the Lord would deliver him from a fate beneath the crashing waves. Shortly after, a helicopter came overhead and lowered a ladder. “No thank you,” the priest said. “The Lord will save me.” Then, a Navy ship appeared and offered to bring him to shore. “No thank you,” the priest answered, smugly. “The Lord will keep me safe…he will deliver me.” Finally, when he could take it no longer, dehydrated and starved, he drown beneath the choppy sea. When he arrived in heaven, he asked God why he didn’t deliver him from this fate. And God said, “Cripes! I sent a helicopter and a Navy destroyer! What else did you want?” ---
**Author:** ![DaToad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@DaToad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DaToad)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/32 "2002-06-25T18:52:28Z")
Thanks **Jackmannii** , now ya got me singing! So with that in mind I apologize in advance. I’m sure you all can guess the tune, but if not, it’s at the end. Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip that started with three idiots falling from a ship. The son was a mighty Christian man the pastor, brave and sure. Three passengers set sail that day on a three-hour tour, a three-hour tour. The weather started getting rough, the tiny ship was tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew the heathen would be lost, the heathen would be lost. The pastor had a choice to make of who to try to save save himself or his son, the heathen too, save all three, or only two, the Christian son The pastor had his choice to make He saved the heathen knave! Now the pastor is here in later years It has been a long, long time. He’s had to make the best of things, It was an uphill climb. Lost the boat and the Christian too. He did his very best, to baptize this heathen friend and put his mind to rest. No sins, so right, a nice collar, A new covenant, like John the Revelator it’s wondrous as can be. So now, you see before you friends, It’s sure to make you rave The heathen was the pastor’s choice The one he chose to save! (Tune from Gilligan’s Island) ---
**Author:** ![JDM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/90db22/32.png) [@JDM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDM)\ **Post date:** [June 25, 2002, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/33 "2002-06-25T20:14:19Z")
No one has pointed out, although I am sure that many have noticed, that this is just a (to use the Disney term) “reimagining” of the story that is the basis for Christian theology, and encapsulated in John 3:16. Of course the Christian idea is a reimagining and extension of the Abraham and Isaac story. Theology can create problems when reduced to “workaday” images. JDM By the way- you can sing the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song to the tune of Amazing Grace. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/34 "2002-06-26T01:17:50Z")
**jr8** , I’m still giggling over your “Drown a Christian For Jesus” bumper stickers. ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 1:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/35 "2002-06-26T01:57:49Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Gorgon Heap \* > \*\*Is there some rule saying priests can’t swim? \*\* Father Charlie don’t surf! ---
**Author:** ![Mac\_Guffin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/2bfe46/32.png) [@Mac\_Guffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mac_Guffin)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/36 "2002-06-26T16:27:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JDM \* > \*\*By the way- you can sing the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song to the tune of Amazing Grace. \*\* And vice-versa. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/37 "2002-06-26T21:07:12Z")
I’m trying to get over the fact that according to this piece of sludge, it’s the Christian choice to let your son drown, whereas it’s the Pagan choice (or at least this Pagan’s choice) to do one’s damnedest to save them both. Who exactly are they trying to say is morally superior? ---
**Author:** ![Winnowill](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/4491bb/32.png) [@Winnowill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winnowill)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/38 "2002-06-26T21:15:23Z")
So what are these teenagers doing in the church if they’re not already Christians, anyway? Jeez. That was just awful. ---
**Author:** ![Swampwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@Swampwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swampwolf)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/39 "2002-06-26T21:36:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JDM \* > \*\*By the way- you can sing the words to the Gilligan’s Island theme song to the tune of Amazing Grace. \*\* But the best is Amazing Grace sung to the tune of the Mickey Mouse Club song. Heard Garrison Keillor singing it once, and I laughed so hard I almost wrecked the car. ---
**Author:** ![airdisc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e19adc/32.png) [@airdisc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/airdisc)\ **Post date:** [June 26, 2002, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/40 "2002-06-26T21:45:43Z")
Regarding the OP’s glurge: I’m currently debating on whether or not to send that to everyone I know with the subject “This is a good example of something you do NOT send me.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830.md?page=3)