# Get your fresh, hot evil glurge right here! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 25, 2002, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830 "2002-06-25T04:26:02Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/41 "2002-06-27T01:02:36Z")
Nuke a Gay Baby Whale for JAYZUZ!!! ---
**Author:** ![splatterpunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3be4f8/32.png) [@splatterpunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/splatterpunk)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/42 "2002-06-27T01:51:21Z")
I dunno, it’s not so bad. It just needs a more dramatic ending. One that’s topical, echoes the original message, and speaks to the younger generation (of which a stalwart young man no less than **Uekte** feels he represents). How about this one? The boy looked pensively at the old man. “Mister,” he said, “don’t you miss your son?” Gripping his worn Bible, the old man replied, “Of course I do. Every day. But I look forward to the day my Lord calls me, because I know I’ll join my son in eternal happiness.” “Really?” “Indeed, lad.” With that, the teen reached into his backpack, withdrew a .357 magnum, and shot the old man dead. The congregation applauded thunderously, secure in the belief that the old man would soon be reunited with his beloved son. THE END ---
**Author:** ![Catamount](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/catamount/32/2840_2.png) [@Catamount](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Catamount)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/43 "2002-06-27T02:11:51Z")
I hereby declare **jr8** and **Guinistasia** Funniest Dopers EVER. I just fell out of the chair laughing at those posts. _polite applause as awards handed out_ ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/44 "2002-06-27T03:42:55Z")
**splatterpunk** , I just laughed my ass off. Man, is your handle _ever_ appropriate to that post. ---
**Author:** ![IcicleFuzz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ba8739/32.png) [@IcicleFuzz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IcicleFuzz)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/45 "2002-06-27T05:01:20Z")
Gah. Nasty, nasty glurge. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Winnowill \* > \*\*So what are these teenagers doing in the church if they’re not already Christians, anyway? > \*\* Free communion booze and crackers? 😉 ---
**Author:** ![jayjay](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jayjay/32/6765_2.png) [@jayjay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jayjay)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2002, 6:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/46 "2002-06-27T06:28:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by IcicleFuzz \* > \*\*Gah. Nasty, nasty glurge. > > Free communion booze and crackers? 😉 \*\* The hypothetical church in question sounds more like one that gets its Holy Communion from Welch’s than [CPS](http://www.cpsonline.co.uk/acatalog/CPS_Communion_Wine_3.html). ---
**Author:** ![Victory\_Candescence](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Victory\_Candescence](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Victory_Candescence)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/47 "2002-06-28T02:49:03Z")
I think I’ll play Devil’s Advocate here, and defend it. 1. In an actual storm, all a father would be able to think about would be his son, so the letter makes no difference anyway. 2. Compared to circulating emails that spout hate, this one seems to have the message of “help non-Christians.” For reference, see some of the Anti-Islam stuff floating around post-9-11. Well, ok… to be honest, the only reason I’m defending it is to be able to use the “Devil’s Advocate” pun. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/48 "2002-06-28T02:54:53Z")
I want fruity smooth golden wine from Spain. ---
**Author:** ![Kaotic\_Newtral](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/71e660/32.png) [@Kaotic\_Newtral](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kaotic_Newtral)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2002, 2:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830/49 "2002-06-28T02:57:26Z")
Look, I’ve got it all figured out. I have a friend that’s a Mormon he told me that whenever anyone dies, the Mormons baptize them as a Mormon. I figure, wherever I am at the time(probably boiling in a vat of oil in Hell) those guys will baptize me and I’ll be instantly transported to Mormon Heaven. I might have to put up with 2-3 weeks tops in Hell…and that’s only if I die alone in a jungle, Sweet! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-fresh-hot-evil-glurge-right-here/115830.md?page=2)