# Get your Humongous Dicks (rant) here! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 24, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507 "2004-12-24T18:32:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/21 "2004-12-25T06:43:18Z")
> [@clayton\_e](#): > > But unless the guy whips it out how would she know he has a larger one? Having read enough porn over the years, I know that breathless buxom beauties often notice a man’s “bulge”. Whether real live women do this or not, I have no blessed idea. ---
**Author:** ![Silentgoldfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Silentgoldfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Silentgoldfish)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/22 "2004-12-25T08:08:36Z")
Wouldn’t the smaller a dick the better the oral sex be? That sounds like a bonus right there! :o ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/23 "2004-12-25T12:11:08Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Having read enough porn over the years, I know that breathless buxom beauties often notice a man’s “bulge”. > > Whether real live women do this or not, I have no blessed idea. I don’t know if I count as breathless or a beauty (and gods help me if I’m buxom), but yeah, I notice bulges. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 12:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/24 "2004-12-25T12:15:16Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > I don’t know if I count as breathless or a beauty (and gods help me if I’m buxom), but yeah, I notice bulges. Prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Why should the gods help you if you’re buxom? ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/25 "2004-12-25T12:22:42Z")
Because if so, I’m unlikely to get a date in the foreseeable century. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/26 "2004-12-25T12:24:41Z")
> [@matt\_mcl](#): > > Because if so, I’m unlikely to get a date in the foreseeable century. Erm… Buxom is full figured, and/or having big tits. Am I missing something? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/27 "2004-12-25T12:26:02Z")
I mean, I don’t want to be insensitive (or dumb) but at first I assumed you were a guy from your user name. But your post a few posts up makes me think you’re a woman, but now I’m wondering if you’re not a gay man? No offense at all for any of that, I’m sure you know how lifeless text can be at times. ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/28 "2004-12-25T12:37:48Z")
**matt\_mcl** is, if I recall correctly, a gay man. Hence, he looks for bulges in crotches but not chests. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/29 "2004-12-25T12:38:29Z")
Yes, I’m a gay boy, which is why it would be best for my romantic life if I weren’t buxom, beauty standards being what they are… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/30 "2004-12-25T12:40:39Z")
Ahhhh. In other words: wooooosh! Consider me educated. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/31 "2004-12-25T20:01:24Z")
You think have a big dick is all fun and games? At least you can sit on a public toilet without fear of “dunking.” ---
**Author:** ![levdrakon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@levdrakon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/levdrakon)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/32 "2004-12-25T21:27:03Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > You think have a big dick is all fun and games? At least you can sit on a public toilet without fear of “dunking.” I call Urban Legend on that one! C’mon. Has any guy with a big schlong ever really “dunked?” ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 10:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/33 "2004-12-25T22:23:45Z")
I’m not enormously endowed or anything, but I got confused after hearing my prostate gland described as a “doughnut” for the umpteenth time and deliberately dunked it in a nice hot mug of java. It took a bit of doing, I’ll tell ya, and I’m not about to do it again. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 11:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/34 "2004-12-25T23:28:12Z")
But did it taste better, **Larry**? ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/35 "2004-12-25T23:29:18Z")
> [@levdrakon](#): > > I call Urban Legend on that one! C’mon. Has any guy with a big schlong ever really “dunked?” well… most likely. There’s only so much space between a toilet seat and the water… and if you’re got enough dangle in your wangle… ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/36 "2004-12-25T23:38:24Z")
But… Since you guys point to pee and sit to dump, when sitting couldn’t you elevate the central gem in the family jewels to rest high and dry upon your thighs? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2004, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/37 "2004-12-25T23:47:23Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > But… Since you guys point to pee and sit to dump, when sitting couldn’t you elevate the central gem in the family jewels to rest high and dry upon your thighs? Um… not to get too deep into specifics here, but pressure in that area isn’t alllll that localized. In other words, it’s quite possible to have to pee while pooping. Now let us never speak of this again. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/38 "2004-12-26T00:24:09Z")
But couldn’t you pee first, then sit to dump? Oh, right – then you’d have to remember to put the seat down. Never mind. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 12:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/39 "2004-12-26T00:27:49Z")
1. Sometimes when you’re rushing to the bathroom it doesn’t make a lot of sense to do one thing, then the other. 2. I will lower the toilet seat when I get done peeing if whatever girls are around would be kind enough to raise the toilet seat when they’re done with the same. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/40 "2004-12-26T00:34:46Z")
Now, wait just a minute here! Consider the equities: Seat down: 1. Women pee. 2. Women dump. 3. Men dump. 4. Men pee while dumping. Seat up: 1. Men pee. 2. Women get nasty shock while trying to pee or dump. And you expect us to put the damned seat up for your convenience? I think not! Lift it yourself, you big babies! We have enough to do, cleaning up the spatters from your lousy aim. :mad: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507.md?page=3)