# Get your Humongous Dicks (rant) here! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [December 24, 2004, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507 "2004-12-24T18:32:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/61 "2004-12-26T20:57:04Z")
> [@Stage Manager](#): > > I always sit to pee. I’ve always done it this way; I really don’t have a good reaason except that I loathe wiping the toilet seat when I’m done. > > I’m gay, if that makes any difference. Me too, except where there are urinals. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/62 "2004-12-26T21:52:21Z")
You’re only gay where there are no urinals? ---
**Author:** ![chaoticbear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f07891/32.png) [@chaoticbear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chaoticbear)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2004, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/63 "2004-12-26T23:18:49Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > You’re only gay where there are no urinals? Either that or I always sit to pee unless there are urinals. Your pick. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/64 "2004-12-27T16:31:11Z")
Oh, the first one is _much_ more fun: for some reason, it amuses me to imagine a guy being all happy and gay and stuff until he uses a men’s room and sees the urinals . . . (“Bob, quit trying to follow me into the stall! Don’t you see there are _urinals_ here?!”) I _really_ must get out more . . . ---
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/65 "2004-12-27T19:10:22Z")
Yeah yeah, technique, but size does matter. Big guys can learn technique, but small guys can’t grow a bigger one. Sorry, but that’s da truth, for me anyway. It’s sad but true, and in this world where life is unfair, this is just one of those things. Fortunately, most guys are bigger than they give themselves credit for. I doubt there are too many men who are hung like tic tacs. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/66 "2004-12-27T19:24:52Z")
Yeah, but you know what kills me about big guys? The arrogance. They are so convinced that they have what it takes they don’t even try. This kind of guy is good for a fling, or as a lover, but not in a LTR (most of the time). Better to have an average guy, who\* doesn’t care one whit \* and has self-confidence not stemming from his dick. Anyhoo, I thought this was a joke thread? And it’s two pages. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/67 "2004-12-27T19:33:09Z")
I had to go back to the first page to re-read the OP to figure out just what the heck we’re talking about here, really. Neither a tic-tac nor a yard-o’-beef here (and there’s a different rant… whatever happened to truth in advertising? those suckers are a foot and a half, tops…), and, according to all the learned surveys I’ve read ( :rolleyes: ), I am a very average guy, but still, half the ladies who have had a chance to … umm… survey me have had compatibility issues. Not that we didn’t try to get around that, but still. Anyway. If I was any farther towards the grande end of the scale, there’s at least one or two more ladies with whom my relationship would have been cut short, and that would have been a shame. I don’t know of any that would have been likewise shortened if I had been more tic-tac like, but that would have sucked, too. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/68 "2004-12-27T20:12:53Z")
Well, **Ethilrist** , that raises a whole other aspect of the size question – the socket for the prong. I can’t cite any surveys on this, but my guess is that women vary in their inner dimensions as much as men in their outer, and while there’s a certain amount of give in there, there ARE limits. So a throbbing member that would be 😃 to one woman would be :dubious: to another, and :eek: to a third. ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 8:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/69 "2004-12-27T20:27:00Z")
Still, I think most guys would prefer to be in the dubious-eek range. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/70 "2004-12-27T20:32:35Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Still, I think most guys would prefer to be in the dubious-eek range. Are you sure about that? I meant :dubious: in the sense of “Where is it? Did you forget to bring it?” 😛 ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/71 "2004-12-27T21:03:58Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Are you sure about that? I meant :dubious: in the sense of “Where is it? Did you forget to bring it?” 😛 Damn… and here I thought it was smiley face= just right dubious = that’s a little bit big… eek = oh my god you’re going to kill me with that thing Using that standard, most guys would like to be somewhere in the smiley face-eek range ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/72 "2004-12-27T21:12:38Z")
I have a good friend who has been married several times. When speaking of her third husband, she said to me once “he had a 13” penis…but I divorced him _anyway_." 😃 Very telling, I thought, in regard to the question of whether or not size is important. Like **Indygrrl** says, technique can be learned, length can’t. It’s been my experience that women who will be honest about it almost always say that if all else is equal, bigger is better. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/73 "2004-12-27T21:20:17Z")
> [@FinnAgain](#): > > Damn… and here I thought it was > smiley face= just right > dubious = that’s a little bit big… > eek = oh my god you’re going to kill me with that thing > > Using that standard, most guys would like to be somewhere in the smiley face-eek range Ah, yes, rereading my post in light of your reply, I could see how your interpretation would seem logical. Perhaps, instead of :dubious: I should have used 😕 or even :rolleyes: do you think? And yes, **SA** , if all else is equal, it’s preferable to have a close-tolerance piston pumping than a pencil rattling around in a Mason jar. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![FinnAgain](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/finnagain/32/12500_2.png) [@FinnAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FinnAgain)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/74 "2004-12-27T21:25:50Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Ah, yes, rereading my post in light of your reply, I could see how your interpretation would seem logical. Perhaps, instead of :dubious: I should have used 😕 or even :rolleyes: do you think? Rolleyes would’ve probably been closer, seeing as how we dont have an “Oh my god it’s so tiny!” smiley. Or, if you were gonna use multiple smilies… ☹😕☹ ---
**Author:** ![Starving\_Artist](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/aeb1de/32.png) [@Starving\_Artist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Starving_Artist)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/75 "2004-12-27T21:33:06Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > And yes, **SA** , if all else is equal, it’s preferable to have a close-tolerance piston pumping than a pencil rattling around in a Mason jar. 😉 Indeed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2004, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/76 "2004-12-27T21:39:56Z")
Hello, I am **Ludovic** , and I am a dunker. Of course, I have “sampled” more toilets since I prefer toilets to urinals, but I guess I don’t need to get the Tug-ahoy after all… ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/77 "2004-12-28T02:37:17Z")
> [@Misnomer](#): > > Arghhhh! There’s just no escaping it! > > What’s this fascination that everyone seems to have with prodigious penises? Well, I’m not sure if everyone has that fascination. A former girlfriend and I were doing the deed one night. She got wild and started yelling, “C’mon, babe - gimme 9 inches and make it hurt!!!” I said, “It sure as hell would hurt. I ain’t cutting 3 inches off the end for you or anybody!” Thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week. Please don’t applaud, just throw money on the stage. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/78 "2004-12-28T02:43:35Z")
> [@Fear Itself](#): > > Guys want to get laid as often as possible, with as many women as possible, so you have to play the percentages and give them what they want. If guys with bigger cocks get laid more, it’s no mystery why more guys long for an enormous schwanzstucker. Guys with bigger equipment get laid more? Maybe some, but there is a Catch 22… for a girl to find out how big you are, she has to sleep with you. So how can one get the message across that one is rather well-endowed without coming out and saying so? ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/79 "2004-12-28T02:58:35Z")
> [@I Love Me](#): > > Guys with bigger equipment get laid more? Maybe some, but there is a Catch 22… for a girl to find out how big you are, she has to sleep with you. So how can one get the message across that one is rather well-endowed without coming out and saying so? Go commando. If the Little Terrorist is anything to brag about, women will notice. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2004, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507/80 "2004-12-28T03:37:53Z")
that’s a good idea! thanks! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-humongous-dicks-rant-here/281507.md?page=5)