# Get your terrible advice here! **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 9, 2007, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336 "2007-05-09T01:35:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/21 "2007-05-09T03:14:13Z")
**Delphica** , Hmm, would you describe the gift your SIL bought to be a blunt and heavy object, or a sharp pointy object? Also, it’d be great if you know someone who runs a meat processing plant. As for the jury, I don’t have much knowledge about the justice system, but everyone knows how annoying inlaws can be, plus OJ got off so how hard could it possibly be to beat this? You didn’t ask, but I’d recommend getting your FIL a free stay at a nice place where he can play shuffleboard and bingo and stuff. Old people love that kind of crap. ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/22 "2007-05-09T03:24:07Z")
Should I tell my boss what I really think of him? And just what he could do to improve his own job performance? I mean, he’ll apreciate the honesty, right? ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/23 "2007-05-09T03:30:17Z")
Our kitchen has been invaded by Pantry Moths, those little 1/2" moths are _incredibly_ annoying… what would be the best shotgun gauge and pellet size to use to eliminate the little frakkers? or should i just grind up some of my Uranium Glass marbles into a fine dust and allow the radiation to do it’s thing? by the way, those Uranium Glass marbles look sooo delicious, especially when illuminated by UV light, is it okay to eat them? ---
**Author:** ![Anne\_Neville](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Anne\_Neville](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anne_Neville)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/24 "2007-05-09T03:51:54Z")
I’m interested in buying a house. What should I be looking for? ---
**Author:** ![Subterraneanus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Subterraneanus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Subterraneanus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 3:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/25 "2007-05-09T03:57:02Z")
[QUOTE=Omega Glory] … **Subterraneanus** , Four words. Threesome + Video camera + YouTube. [/QUOTE] Should I maybe ask my wife to join in as well? I feel guilty leaving her out; I also have a fear of prime numbers. ---
**Author:** ![hocow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hocow/32/4112_2.png) [@hocow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hocow)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/26 "2007-05-09T13:56:41Z")
[QUOTE=Subterraneanus] Should I maybe ask my wife to join in as well? I feel guilty leaving her out; I also have a fear of prime numbers. [/QUOTE] But then you’d still have to add another guy. Homeostasis, and all that. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/27 "2007-05-09T16:50:02Z")
> [@](#): > > I’m interested in buying a house. What should I be looking for? You get what you pay for. Call up your local realtors and tell them you want to buy the high priced house they have on the market. Make sure you let them know you’re calling several realtors and only the one who offers the highest price will make the sale. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/28 "2007-05-09T16:52:53Z")
> [@](#): > > by the way, those Uranium Glass marbles look sooo delicious, especially when illuminated by UV light, is it okay to eat them? There’s only one way to find out. Worst case scenario: you develop cool mutant powers like the X-Men. ---
**Author:** ![Ludy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Ludy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludy)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/29 "2007-05-09T17:19:29Z")
I want to paint the living room “Pomelo” but my fiance is not too keen on the idea. What should I do? ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/30 "2007-05-09T17:28:01Z")
Dear **Omega Glory** , A Frigate of the Royal Nave-ee (damn their lubbery eyes!) is off me portside. Should I hoist sail & flee; or run up the Jolly Roger, damn them by Billy Bones, & give them a taste of Grape before boarding. I’d ask me Parrot, but Polly has a sore throat, & cannot answer. AAAAARRRRR! ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/31 "2007-05-09T17:28:59Z")
**Civil Guy** Of course. Honesty is always the best policy. Don’t hold back either, hit him where it hurts. He’ll thank you for it. You’ll probably even get promoted! Tact is just a PC way of saying “wimping out”. Employers appreciate assertive people who aren’t afraid to administer a verbal beatdown, so to speak. Use diagrams if possible. **MacTech** , we all know that moths are drawn to flames. So this is what you need to do: Heat some grease on your stove, on high till it ignites. Then, just when it’s really starting to burn, douse it with gasoline. The moths won’t know what hit 'em. It’ll be specatular. As for the marbles; they probably won’t taste all that good. Grind them into a fine powder then use a straw to sniff it up. **Anne** , **Little Nemo’s** right about the house. The more you spend, the better. You’ve got to keep up with the Joneses right? If you’re strapped for cash, consider putting the mortgage in the name of an elderly relative. We all know how much the older generation loves to help out. Makes 'em feel useful. Of course, you always want to consider the area too. Pluses would be lots of young men hanging around on your sidewalk during all hours. That way there’ll be someone around to keep an eye on the house when you’re on vacation. It’d also be great if you could find something next to a train station, or subway. Think of the gas you’ll save! ---
**Author:** ![MacTech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c0e974/32.png) [@MacTech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MacTech)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/32 "2007-05-09T17:29:13Z")
[QUOTE=Ludy] I want to paint the living room “Pomelo” but my fiance is not too keen on the idea. What should I do? [/QUOTE] Take a page from the Mythbusters crew, painting is easy (and Fun!) when you use explosives! ---
**Author:** ![Omega\_Glory](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/7c8e57/32.png) [@Omega\_Glory](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omega_Glory)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/33 "2007-05-09T17:35:37Z")
[QUOTE=Ludy] I want to paint the living room “Pomelo” but my fiance is not too keen on the idea. What should I do? [/QUOTE] If your fiance is into interior decorating, you need to consider the posibility that you might be his [beard](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beard_(female_companion)) . Now I have been wrong before, but I think you need to call off the wedding. **Bosda** , ram them. Then cook the good for nothing parrot for dinner. ---
**Author:** ![Sunrazor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2acd7d/32.png) [@Sunrazor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunrazor)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 5:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/34 "2007-05-09T17:52:16Z")
[QUOTE=Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor] Dear **Omega Glory** , A Frigate of the Royal Nave-ee (damn their lubbery eyes!) is off me portside. Should I hoist sail & flee; or run up the Jolly Roger, damn them by Billy Bones, & give them a taste of Grape before boarding. I’d ask me Parrot, but Polly has a sore throat, & cannot answer. AAAAARRRRR! [/QUOTE] I’m sorry, \*\*Omega Glory \*\* is unable to answer your post at this time. If you are posting with questions about colonizing unexplored foreign lands, please click on the link labeled “Colonize Us!” If you are posting with questions about succession to the Throne of England, please click on “Prince Charlie Forever”. If you are posting questions about obliterating ships of the Royal Navy, please click on “Spanish Armada, Fate of”. For all other posts, please go to [www.slate.com](http://www.slate.com) and click on “The Fray”. Thank you. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/35 "2007-05-09T21:13:08Z")
[QUOTE=Anne Neville] I’m interested in buying a house. What should I be looking for? [/QUOTE] A house. It wouldn’t make much sense to look for an elephant. ---
**Author:** ![descamisado](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e480ec/32.png) [@descamisado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/descamisado)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/36 "2007-05-09T23:05:02Z")
I’ve done my spring cleaning and totally re-arranged my kitchen. Everything looks great, except for one problem. I have nowhere to put my ladle. Any suggestions? Signed, Open to Any Suggestion ---
**Author:** ![Electrical\_Storm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac8455/32.png) [@Electrical\_Storm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electrical_Storm)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/37 "2007-05-09T23:07:23Z")
This little snit at work who is about ten years younger than me and about five ranks below me continues to spew her know-it-all crap (and believe me, she does \*not \* know it all) during staff meetings, and I have to put the smackdown on her _nicely_. I’m tired of doing that. Should I take off the gloves and have an all-out cat fight? Would that do the trick? ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/38 "2007-05-09T23:11:27Z")
My long-distance girlfriend just dumped me for a boy that lives in her town. My question is, should I mail bomb him or would I get more satisfaction in killing him myself? (obligatory disclaimer of non-violent intent) ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 11:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/39 "2007-05-09T23:17:40Z")
Ummmm, please ignore that last post ☹ I really really should not have posted that. The last few days have been imparing my already impulsive judgment. Sorry :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2007, 11:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336/40 "2007-05-09T23:23:48Z")
Again, I have no intent of harming anyone; my emotions got the better of me. And sorry too for thread-shitting ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/get-your-terrible-advice-here/403336.md?page=3)