# getting a baby baptized. How does one go about it? **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [January 6, 2011, 8:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655 "2011-01-06T20:53:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Polycarp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/82dd89/32.png) [@Polycarp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polycarp)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/21 "2011-01-07T02:40:59Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > You find someone who believes that sprinkling a few drops of ordinary H[sub]2[/sub]O on someone and reciting some special incantations will cause supernatural things to happen that cannot be detected. > > So either go to a magic store or a church. Without being a junior mod, may I direct you to note the forum you are in? This is a good argument against baptism in GD – here, the question presupposes that someone _does_ see some value in the ceremony, or they would not be asking for information on alternate ways of having it done. However, while as a Christian myself I’d never want to discourage anyone from being baptized, I would strongly urge anyone considering having their child baptized to think through what it means to the church in question, and what is being promised. You are standing up in public and solemnly promising to raise the child as a Christian. You are speaking for the child in having him/her renounce the world, the flesh, and the devil, and commit to belief in God the Holy Trinity. If you don’t believe or mean these things, it’s probably not a good idea to make such public oaths. Unless you yourself believe in original sin, there is no pressing need to “have the kid done”, and good reason to wait if you don’t intend to keep those promises. (One of the most moving baptisms I’ve ever seen was that of a seven-year-old whose parents had been indifferent to religion and had recently become active, and who chose to be baptized and stood up and made his own promises very proudly. He may not have understood the theological nuances of what he was promising, but he knew what he wanted to do in broad terms, and it showed in his demeanor as he went through the service. I found that far more meaningful than the ritualized baptizing of the babies of people who hadn’t been involved with the church before the baptism and who promptly vanished from its ken afterwards.) ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/22 "2011-01-07T02:55:01Z")
> [@Polycarp](#): > > Without being a junior mod, may I direct you to note the forum you are in? This is a good argument against baptism in GD – here, the question presupposes that someone _does_ see some value in the ceremony, or they would not be asking for information on alternate ways of having it done. It’s a magic rite, using magic symbols and magic concepts. As **Stink Fish Pot** said in the OP, > [@](#): > > The father is not very religious… …so I think it’s entirely appropriate to point that out as one of the options; the church is another. Fighting Ignorance doesn’t stop at the door of General Questions. ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/23 "2011-01-07T03:01:55Z")
Coming into a thread about how to arrange a baptism and dropping “it’s magic lol” likely counts as threadshitting and saying that you’re simply busting ignorance doesn’t change that. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 3:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/24 "2011-01-07T03:16:19Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > It’s a magic rite, using magic symbols and magic concepts. As **Stink Fish Pot** said in the OP, …so I think it’s entirely appropriate to point that out as one of the options; the church is another. Fighting Ignorance doesn’t stop at the door of General Questions. That’s bullshit. The OP was asking on how to go about getting a child baptised, and what various churches’ policies were – not if they were “real” or not. Why, oh WHY can’t anyone ask a question about religious policies anymore without someone coming in to threadshit anymore? ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/25 "2011-01-07T03:26:19Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > That’s bullshit. The OP was asking on how to go about getting a child baptised, and what various churches’ policies were – not if they were “real” or not. > > Why, oh WHY can’t anyone ask a question about religious policies anymore without someone coming in to threadshit anymore? Talk about bullshit. So if someone asks what the formula is for a love potion to win his proposed amour, the only proper answer is spit of toad, eye of newt and mare’s sweat? GQ means to answer nonsense with more nonsense? ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/26 "2011-01-07T03:31:19Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > Talk about bullshit. So if someone asks what the formula is for a love potion to win his proposed amour, the only proper answer is spit of toad, eye of newt and mare’s sweat? GQ means to answer nonsense with more nonsense? He didn’t ask about what a baptism’s purported effects are. He asked how one goes about arranging the ceremony. ---
**Author:** ![samclem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a9a28c/32.png) [@samclem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/samclem)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/27 "2011-01-07T03:39:17Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > You find someone who believes that sprinkling a few drops of ordinary H[sub]2[/sub]O on someone and reciting some special incantations will cause supernatural things to happen that cannot be detected. > > So either go to a magic store or a church. > [@Musicat](#): > > It’s a magic rite, using magic symbols and magic concepts. As **Stink Fish Pot** said in the OP, …so I think it’s entirely appropriate to point that out as one of the options; the church is another. Fighting Ignorance doesn’t stop at the door of General Questions. > [@Musicat](#): > > Talk about bullshit. So if someone asks what the formula is for a love potion to win his proposed amour, the only proper answer is spit of toad, eye of newt and mare’s sweat? GQ means to answer nonsense with more nonsense? **MODERATOR SUGGESTION-----** GQ means you don’t get to threadshit, which, IMHO, you are doing. Drop it now. The OP wasn’t asking for a debate about the rights/wrongs of the procedure. No warning issued. **samclem** MOderator. ---
**Author:** ![amarinth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3be4f8/32.png) [@amarinth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/amarinth)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/28 "2011-01-07T04:12:21Z")
> [@Stink Fish Pot](#): > > 1. They are leaning toward a Presbyterian baptism, since this is what the father was baptized as. I am going to give them a list of the other suggestions given in here, because I don’t know if they know (I certainly didn’t) about the other choices available to them besides Catholic and everything else (from a Christians POV). Presbyterians will baptize infants. However, they may require some kind of meeting or planning or discussion with the parents over the meaning of baptism before they do it. Also, denominations that won’t baptize infants often have alternate ceremonies (such as “infant dedication”) where the parents promise to be good parents and the congregation promises to help support the parents and watch over the kid. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/29 "2011-01-07T04:21:39Z")
> [@Northern\_Piper](#): > > There was no fee - it’s a sacrament of the church, and no money is required for sacraments. My recollection of my brother’s wedding is that he paid a few hundred to the priest, but I don’t know if this was a requirement or just a suggestion. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/30 "2011-01-07T05:23:35Z")
> [@Musicat](#): > > GQ means to answer nonsense with more nonsense? Not really. I never made my particular feelings on this subject known. Just the mother and father. Many people believe in the idea of baptizing, and my question didn’t rely on those that don’t believe one way or the other. The answers I would be getting would be for the most part inline. Let’s try to focus I for one, am exhausted and starting to unfocus, so iIl be back tomorrow. ---
**Author:** ![BlinkingDuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eada6e/32.png) [@BlinkingDuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlinkingDuck)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/31 "2011-01-07T15:19:58Z")
> [@Gotterfunken](#): > > This is my understanding, too. Get a cup of water (holy water if you can get it, but even that’s not absolutely mandatory), hold the baby horizontally, and spill a little water upon the top of his head three times while saying “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” The water and the name of the Trinity are the two essential ingredients. > > NB: perhaps needless to say, this DIY-style is not the preferred method, but is regarded as a viable emergency option–e.g., in cases where it’s not safe or possible to get the kid to a priest. The sacrament of baptism is thought to represent that individual’s introduction to the community of the Church (as well as a cleansing of the soul of Original Sin), so it’s preferred to have the ceremony conducted at a church, with godparents, family, and sometimes the whole congregation present to witness it. > > Nevertheless, it is true that the sacrament of baptism is one of the two sacraments in the Catholic Church that need not be administered by a priest (the other one being marriage). +1 They would also recommend that you do it with a priest when you can at a later date…but that is not required. Think of it as the Archie Bunker method (there was an episode where he wanted his grandkid baptised but the parents refused} I was brought up Catholic but am a pretty solid athiest now…but I must confess irritation to the parents talked about in the OP. If you want your child baptised Catholic…then practise your damn faith! If you don’t…then why have your kid baptised? Do you believe or don’t you?! Shit or get off the pot. ---
**Author:** ![Baracus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/2bfe46/32.png) [@Baracus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baracus)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/32 "2011-01-07T15:45:06Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > Lutheran churches also perform infant baptism, but they are also usually very strict about limiting church sacraments like baptism and communion to actual members. Are these Wisconsin or Missouri synod churches? The ELCA churches that I have encountered are much more open. My church invites any baptized person present to participate in communion. My daughter’s godparents were not church members and did not require church approval, other than the affirmations during the ceremony itself. I can’t say for sure, but I am somewhat confident that our pastor would baptize a non-member’s child under the right circumstances, perhaps not for the OP’s friends if they could not convince him that they were not merely going through the motions. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/33 "2011-01-07T15:52:00Z")
Our kids were baptized RC (wife’s side). We never attended church regularly beforehand, or afterwards for that matter. My wife simply called the church, spoke to the father, and we made arrangements to visit him in the rectory to discuss the matter and book a date. The ceremonies were both private events held on a Saturday and not part of the church service. We slipped a cheque for $100, made out to the church, to the priest after the ceremony. This seemed to be the normal donation a dozen or so years back. It was relatively painless. There were two principle reasons we got them baptized. 1. The nearest school is a catholic school, and to attend baptism was recommended, if not required. Catholic schools in Ontario are funded by the government in the same way as the public board. (Whole different subject…) 2. If they get married in a catholic church they need to provide a baptismal certificate. We figured we’d do them a favour and get it out of the way early. Actually, there was a third reason; to please my mother-in-law. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/34 "2011-01-07T16:10:10Z")
Mr. Sali and I were both Catholics, not that it “took” for either of us (after First Communion and Confirmation, we were DONE with church and never went back). We had our daughter and when she was 6 or 7, I began to think, well, maybe we should get her baptised just to be on the safe side! We thought maybe we all should get back into the church, it wouldn’t hurt us to show up on Sundays and maybe it would be a good experience, now. So we had a meeting with the church to discuss it. We went through many a song and dance - several meetings, watching videos, a potluck dinner, and basically rejoining the church. We had to scramble to find sponsors and had a couple of friends stand in as proxies for my brother and s-i-l who lived 2000 miles away. The baptism itself was performed during a church service where my girl went up front and was baptised standing in the font in front of the congregation (she got a round of applause and it was a very touching experience). It was a process. And of course we had to be in the system for her to receive First Communion and Confirmation, and religious ed classes weekly. So we did all that. Unfortunately religion didn’t “take” for her, either. The whole church thing was a bitter disappointment, it just didn’t work out much as we would have liked, and we’re back to square one now. But we tried, and all I can say is we’re all covered by having receiving the sacraments, ‘just in case’. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 4:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/35 "2011-01-07T16:18:14Z")
> [@Leaffan](#): > > 1. If they get married in a catholic church they need to provide a baptismal certificate. I was married in a Catholic church, in Australia, without a baptismal certificate, but perhaps the rules are different in different countries. I had in fact been baptised, at the age of 12 (i.e., an adult baptism), in an Anglican church, though by the time I married I’d lost my faith and become a long-term atheist. My wife was Catholic – and still is – but perhaps they didn’t need a baptismal certificate for her since she would have been baptised in the church where we married. ---
**Author:** ![kopek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kopek/32/337_2.png) [@kopek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kopek)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/36 "2011-01-07T16:21:39Z")
> [@Lasciel](#): > > Lutheran churches also perform infant baptism, but they are also usually very strict about limiting church sacraments like baptism and communion to actual members. This is a case where YMMV widely. Our congregation (ELCA) would be happy to host the baptism – even for non-members and even for non-members who say up front they don’t intend to become members. There is no fee; its held before worship when everything is already open and in use. There are no classes although Pastor will want to at least talk to the parents and godparents ahead of time; by phone if nothing else. We’re using Lutheran wording and format but we’re baptizing you as a Christian; not necessarily a Lutheran. So that allows us a little more “bend” than some congregations are comfortable with. ---
**Author:** ![Darth\_Panda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ee7513/32.png) [@Darth\_Panda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darth_Panda)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/37 "2011-01-07T16:29:24Z")
I think Ned and Maude Flanders just took the Simpson kids down to the river for an emergency baptism. Seems like water and faith are the essential ingrediants. A nice white robe can’t hurt either. ---
**Author:** ![Leaffan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leaffan/32/299_2.png) [@Leaffan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Leaffan)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/38 "2011-01-07T16:29:29Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > I was married in a Catholic church, in Australia, without a baptismal certificate, but perhaps the rules are different in different countries. I had in fact been baptised, at the age of 12 (i.e., an adult baptism), in an Anglican church, though by the time I married I’d lost my faith and become a long-term atheist. My wife was Catholic – and still is – but perhaps they didn’t need a baptismal certificate for her since she would have been baptised in the church where we married. I would have thought the rules-o-the-church would have been pretty standard world-wide. We were married in a catholic church in Canada and I had to scramble to find my baptismal certificate. Didn’t matter that it was from the Church of Scotland, but I needed to have one apparently. Well, they asked for one. I’m not sure in retrospect what would have happened if I said I wasn’t baptized. Anyway, it’s one less thing for my kids to be concerned about later in life. Their baptism that is: not mine! ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/39 "2011-01-07T16:33:15Z")
> [@Guinastasia](#): > > (I believe in the Catholic church, you’re actually permitted to DIY) > [@Gotterfunken](#): > > This is my understanding, too. Get a cup of water (holy water if you can get it, but even that’s not absolutely mandatory), hold the baby horizontally, and spill a little water upon the top of his head three times while saying “I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” The water and the name of the Trinity are the two essential ingredients. Exactly correct. > [@Gotterfunken](#): > > NB: perhaps needless to say, this DIY-style is not the preferred method, but is regarded as a viable emergency option–e.g., in cases where it’s not safe or possible to get the kid to a priest. The sacrament of baptism is thought to represent that individual’s introduction to the community of the Church (as well as a cleansing of the soul of Original Sin), so it’s preferred to have the ceremony conducted at a church, with godparents, family, and sometimes the whole congregation present to witness it. > > Nevertheless, it is true that the sacrament of baptism is one of the two sacraments in the Catholic Church that need not be administered by a priest (the other one being marriage). Slight nitpick: I wouldn’t say “need not,” here. The sacrament of marriage is administered by the bridge and groom to each other; the officiant is present as a witness for the Church. So unless the groom is a priest – a somewhat rare event – the sacrament of matrimony is _never_ administered by a priest. > [@BlinkingDuck](#): > > They would also recommend that you do it with a priest when you can at a later date…but that is not required. Not quite. The Sacrament of Baptism imprints a character in the soul, a spiritual mark which remains forever. There is no “doing it again.” If there is prudent doubt as to whether the sacrament was conferred before, it may be conferred conditionally, but actual baptism can be done only once in Catholic understanding. ---
**Author:** ![Lasciel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e79b87/32.png) [@Lasciel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lasciel)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2011, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655/40 "2011-01-07T16:37:25Z")
> [@kopek](#): > > This is a case where YMMV widely. Our congregation (ELCA) would be happy to host the baptism – even for non-members and even for non-members who say up front they don’t intend to become members. There is no fee; its held before worship when everything is already open and in use. There are no classes although Pastor will want to at least talk to the parents and godparents ahead of time; by phone if nothing else. > > We’re using Lutheran wording and format but we’re baptizing you as a Christian; not necessarily a Lutheran. So that allows us a little more “bend” than some congregations are comfortable with. Yes, you are both right - I was talking about MS and CLC Lutherans (the only ones I know personally) and they are both SUPER CONSERVATIVE (religiously, not politically) in what they are willing to do for non-members, and (as pointed out YMMV) the four specific churches I’ve been in were singularly unwilling to bend the rules regarding sacraments. For a specific example, my mother had been a member of a CLC church before getting married and moving away. When my father died, we were back in the same community again, but had not re-joined the church. The CLC official peoples refused to allow the pastor that my mother knew from childhood to speak at the funeral, because my parents were no longer members of the church and didn’t merit their services. They wouldn’t even let him do it “off the record!” On the other hand, two of the others (one MS and one CLC) were willing to bend on things like allowing kids to attend the church-school without being members of the church. So I think the major hangups there are with the sacraments specifically. I never realized the other factions were so liberal - there aren’t any around here, and I just assumed they were more of the same. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-a-baby-baptized-how-does-one-go-about-it/566655.md?page=3)