# Getting bullied at work **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 25, 2014, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491 "2014-08-25T20:05:55Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/41 "2014-08-26T20:36:20Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > Maybe it’s because in preschool instead of being taught how to resolve a problem responsibly, a teacher would rather sneer at you for being a tattletale and punish you for it. You know, the same mindset you have right now. Why teach the kid anything useful when you can just add to the shitpile? They’re 4 years old fer chrissakes. You expect them to have problem-solving capabilities past “ask nicely for someone to stop”? How will they learn if nobody ever sits them down and tells them how to deal early on? > > And how do assholes learn not to be assholes if nobody in a position of power ever corrects them effectively their whole lives? Just because an asshole isn’t breaking the law doesn’t mean they should never be told to shape up. > > HoneyBadgerDC is correct. There’s no reason for anyone to deal with this in a workplace between coworkers. It simply ruins morale. The boss should grow a spine and do something about it for the sake of productivity if nothing else. I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the OP was only four. My advice to suck it up still stands. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/42 "2014-08-26T20:58:12Z")
> [@AnaMen](#): > > I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the OP was only four. > My advice to suck it up still stands. I was addressing the part where you thought the best way to teach people to suck it up was to punish them at age 4 for trying to figure out how to suck it up. And if you think they should know better by age 4 then I don’t expect you’d want to teach them at any later ages either. So, why was it you think they never learned to cope, again? ---
**Author:** ![AnaMen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@AnaMen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AnaMen)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/43 "2014-08-26T21:14:55Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > I was addressing the part where you thought the best way to teach people to suck it up was to punish them at age 4 for trying to figure out how to suck it up. And if you think they should know better by age 4 then I don’t expect you’d want to teach them at any later ages either. So, why was it you think they never learned to cope, again? “He’s making faces at me” is not something a person “trying to figure out how to suck it up” says. It’s someone who has brought their problem to you to figure out instead of figuring it out themselves. The punishment typically took the form of a logical “solution” which nobody liked, to encourage people to solve these things themselves. You aren’t really teaching them anything directly–you are getting out of the way of them learning. When mommy/teacher/boss is the one to get the face-maker to compose his features into a permitted expression, the victim has not coped in any useful way. He would still not be able to control his own temper the minute an eyebrow is raised or a lip is curled in his direction. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Nylock](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/77aa72/32.png) [@Mr.Nylock](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Nylock)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/44 "2014-08-26T21:17:07Z")
This probably won’t be much help, but hey, I thought I’d share. When I was new at a job, this guy kept trying to rile me up. I wasn’t really playing along and I think he got frustrated because he was expecting me to be an easy target. He would say I was doing something wrong, implying it was because he thought I was dumb or inferior. He would ask why are you doing such and such and I would say because I and a moron, I was born before they knew about the dangers of lead poisoning etc. And he would say “It sounds like you have low self esteem” and I would say “I do have low self esteem” etc, I would pretty much agree with everything he said. It got to the point that he was so frustrated he ended up making an ass out of himself on a regular basis and when I told the manager he was distracting me from doing actual work he was effectively encouraged to self terminate as they say. I guess the moral of the story is pride makes you weak. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 9:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/45 "2014-08-26T21:30:12Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > If I was the boss, I’d can both of you. ^This. If some guy were trying to mess with me (this happened to me once because I was Jewish in a small Indiana town and the person in question had a lot of odd ideas about Jews), I would be unfailingly kind to him. I’d say “Hello” to him, ask him about his day, bring him cookies, and remember his birthday. One of two things would happen: he would either re-evaluate his opinion of me, and start being a lot nicer, or he would decide I was really strange, and start keeping his distance from me, to the point that he couldn’t mess with me, because he would no longer be making eye contact. ---
**Author:** ![Ryan\_Liam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ryan_liam/32/3965_2.png) [@Ryan\_Liam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ryan_Liam)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/46 "2014-08-26T21:37:41Z")
> [@GrandWino](#): > > Is this the same job where you pitted your “friend” that worked with you for not letting you mooch onto his cab ride or something? > > [Yes, here it is.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=707467) Nope, I’m still friends with that person. > [@](#): > > I guess the moral of the story is pride makes you weak. I think this is a good point, I’ve been bullied quite a few times since childhood, and I am probably hypersensitive now to any kind of similar thing happening, hence pride. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/47 "2014-08-26T21:38:09Z")
> [@Ca3799](#): > > I always advise that when in doubt, ‘Up your professionalism.’ If you want me to up my professionalism - up yours. ---
**Author:** ![Rachellelogram](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rachellelogram/32/8689_2.png) [@Rachellelogram](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rachellelogram)\ **Post date:** [August 26, 2014, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/48 "2014-08-26T22:19:46Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > Nope, I’m still friends with that person. > > I think this is a good point, I’ve been bullied quite a few times since childhood, and I am probably hypersensitive now to any kind of similar thing happening, hence pride. Again, therapy. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [August 27, 2014, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/49 "2014-08-27T23:12:43Z")
He threatened you, you have a witness, and you didn’t call the police? Nothing I can tell you, then. You’re hosed. Except: Do you remember Walter White, Tio and Gus? Just askin… ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/50 "2014-08-28T01:33:38Z")
Can’t you just wait for him in the parking lot [del]during recess[/del] after work and hit him in the head with your lunch box? ---
**Author:** ![toofs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@toofs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/toofs)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/51 "2014-08-28T03:52:41Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > If I was the boss, I’d can both of you. This is what you should worry about. Get another job. Yours sucks. Also: grow a pair and stop being a little bitch. ---
**Author:** ![LurkerInNJ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ed655f/32.png) [@LurkerInNJ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkerInNJ)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/52 "2014-08-28T14:53:18Z")
> [@Ryan\_Liam](#): > > He threatened me after I kept driving slowly to annoy him, so I put a grievance in against him. > > The thing is, is that I’m trapped in this cycle, I want to rise above it, but it seems impossible and it’s very hard for me to hide my annoyance at his attempts to get at me, so I get frustrated at that and him winding me up. So I think my only option is to try and do it to him even though I don’t want too. Do you know what a game face is? It’s a neutral I’m going to do what I came here to do and nothing else matters face. That’s what you need to keep on at work. You’re not a child on in a school yard any more. There will come a day when all your stupid little game playing and tit for tat will result in you losing your job if you can’t get YOUR emotions under control. Your two seconds of petty satisfaction every time you file a complaint or grievance is helping to fuel this absurd situation. Just stop it. Don’t participate. Put on your game face when you leave for work and don’t visibly react to anything. Pretty soon you won’t react to anything because you are training yourself not to. ---
**Author:** ![FuriousGeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ecae2f/32.png) [@FuriousGeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FuriousGeorge)\ **Post date:** [August 28, 2014, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491/53 "2014-08-28T18:36:24Z")
Usually when someone teases you alot, it’s because they like you and want your attention. Have a friend pass a note at lunch that says “Do you like me? Check yes or no.” Make sure there are hearts drawn randomly about the note. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-bullied-at-work/696491.md?page=2)