# Getting drunk is one thing. Stealing a firetruck while drunk elevates dumbass to art **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 8, 2004, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608 "2004-11-08T07:14:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/1 "2004-11-08T07:14:04Z")
Our stupid criminal story for today involves [this Einstein](http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2004/11/07/BAGVH9NFEC1.DTL) who got his car stuck, then broke into the firehouse to steal an engine, which he promptly mired. Undaunted, he called for assistance using the truck radio. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![umop\_ap\_sdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/dbc845/32.png) [@umop\_ap\_sdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/umop_ap_sdn)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/2 "2004-11-08T07:33:56Z")
When the cops showed up and he realised his mistake, he must have uttered one of the many other words that starts with F and ends with U-C-K. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Scissorjack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c67d28/32.png) [@Scissorjack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scissorjack)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/3 "2004-11-08T09:33:38Z")
Worship him, for he is a God. Getting pissed, stealing a fire engine, bogging it down, and then having the balls to call for help on their radio - I am lost in admiration. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 10:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/4 "2004-11-08T10:27:33Z")
[guy from Worldā€™s Scariest Police Chases] After getting the firetruck stuck he called up on the radio for help. Now the only horn heā€™ll be blowing on will be _in prison._ [gfwspc] ---
**Author:** ![buttonjockey308](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bcef8e/32.png) [@buttonjockey308](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/buttonjockey308)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/5 "2004-11-08T10:37:26Z")
Heā€™s just lucky he did that in San Francisco. I canā€™t even properly imagine the outcome for the poor SOB that steals a Chicago fire truck. > [@wolfman](#): > > After getting the firetruck stuck he called up on the radio for help. Now the only horn heā€™ll be blowing on will be in prison. HA! ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/6 "2004-11-08T11:42:58Z")
Wow. Idiotic doesnā€™t even _begin_ to describe this guy. ---
**Author:** ![smartini](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/22d042/32.png) [@smartini](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smartini)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/7 "2004-11-08T14:47:55Z")
> [@Middlecase](#): > > Worship him, for he is a God. Getting pissed, stealing a fire engine, bogging it down, and then having the balls to call for help on their radio - I am lost in admiration. Exactly šŸ˜ƒ If he can manage to get thru rehab without losing the chutzpah he should go far! _~ hopefully not in a stolen firetruck_ :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Mollie\_Magill](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mollie_magill/32/20882_2.png) [@Mollie\_Magill](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mollie_Magill)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/8 "2004-11-08T21:33:28Z")
> [@Claud Gipson-Reynolds](#): > > If you think you might have a problem with drinking and drugs, you should seek recovery before you hit the point of no return. Iā€™m confused. Would this hypothetical point of no return be before or after you get piss-drunk and steal a fire truck? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2004, 11:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/9 "2004-11-08T23:32:14Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > Heā€™s just lucky he did that in San Francisco. I canā€™t even properly imagine the outcome for the poor SOB that steals a Chicago fire truck. Gotta agree with you on that one. The only fellow I ever met from CFD was Chief John Eversole, and got the impression that he and his contemporaries were ā€˜take no prisonersā€™ kinda guys. ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/10 "2004-11-09T01:43:43Z")
> [@buttonjockey308](#): > > Heā€™s just lucky he did that in San Francisco. Sonomaā€™s an hour or so north of SF. Weā€™ll keep trying here in the City though. ---
**Author:** ![Trunk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@Trunk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trunk)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/11 "2004-11-09T15:08:17Z")
> [@Middlecase](#): > > Worship him, for he is a God. Getting pissed, stealing a fire engine, bogging it down, and then having the balls to call for help on their radio - I am lost in admiration. Yup. Itā€™s sobering to realize that some drunk with an '83 Chevy with a bad clutch is going to leave behind a cooler legacy than I. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/12 "2004-11-09T15:17:53Z")
I know someone who claims to have stolen/commandeered a city bus in Kiev during a business trip. This was in the old Soviet days. Apparently there was a business dinner and he and his team were fed and liquored up to help seal the deal. He wandered into the Kiev night, with a political officer following him. The next day he woke up with a pounding headache and no recollection of the night before. The PO told him that heā€™d ā€œstolen a busā€ and the PO tagged along to make sure he didnā€™t get in too much trouble. Fortunately it was late and owing to the era not all that much traffic. Person in question is a big, former Green Beret, so it could be a true story, but itā€™s hard to say for sure. Itā€™s certainly an interesting story, especially as told by him, many years after the fact. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [November 9, 2004, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-drunk-is-one-thing-stealing-a-firetruck-while-drunk-elevates-dumbass-to-art/273608/13 "2004-11-09T15:30:04Z")
Driving between Sonoma and Napa and beer is his drink of choice? The palate boggles.