I just want to respond to, “If you don’t get in to a top college, you will get into some other great university.”
After all this hard work, stress, debate, effort, time, and ACTUALLY exceptional stats [like good grades, standardized test scores, extra-curriculars (I don’t know how many times I’ve mentioned this but this phrase is now stuck in my head)], if all I can do is get into some above average university that no one really cares about, WHAT’S THE POINT???
I want to be able to just go up to some random person, say I got into ___________ (and it better be prestigious), and the guy listening is mind-blown. I strive for that kind of “respect” and label of prestige.
Do you know what makes me happy? WHEN I IMPRESS OTHER PEOPLE! It’s just how my nature is. I get happiness from impressing people. I just really like to do that. Showing-off how good I am, etc. to the point where the other person is mind-blown is what I’m always striving to do. (You know what’s funny. I use “false modesty” a lot. It’s funny because people always fall for it whenever I use it!)
And APPARENTLY, that’s wrong! But WHY??? Why is it wrong? Why is this so-called disparity WRONG??? What makes this WRONG?
Now, for the actual constructive part for trying to get accepted, I gotta clear some things up here because here’s another thing that is really unsettled about me right now.
I have a complex situation where I’m really good at playing violin and have great talent in that (now please don’t take this as showing off) but the problem is that that’s not what my aim is in life. What I really want is to get some job that involves mathematics/science/STEM that starts out at at least $100,000 and then after a few years goes to $150,000-$200,000 a year, and apparently that’s not very likely with a career in violin. So I’m still going to continue playing violin but it’s not my career aim. This is a problem because I thought I had a shot at Yale School of Music, but I don’t want to actually major in Music. I want to major in “something” related to mathematics and science. It’s still a “something” because I don’t exactly know “what”, but we have a general idea. A Business major is also in the air because like I said, my main aim in life is to make at least around $150,000 a year and also get a partner that makes around the same amount so that in total me and my “partner” are making $250,000-$300,000 a year and have an extremely successful life with excellent prestige and respect. This is my whole master plan!!! This is what I’m going for. But the problem is that I don’t know how to use violin to my advantage when it’s not even something I’m aiming for career wise and that’s very unclear.
As you can see, unclarity annoys the h*ll out of me. Unsettledness (I’m just going to start making up words here), disturbed, messy, etc. is something that’s very difficult for me to cope with because I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SOLVE IT!
AND THIS IS REPETITIVE. It’s going to keep going on until someone (not just here), but in real life as well if they can, steps up and gives me a clear answer for what to do. Until then, I’m a mess.