# Getting married and going to grad school-- Help!

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-married-and-going-to-grad-school-help/435015>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [January 25, 2008, 9:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-married-and-going-to-grad-school-help/435015 "2008-01-25T21:07:33Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 1\
**Page:** 2

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**Author:** ![burundi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3ec8ea/32.png) [@burundi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/burundi)\
**Post date:** [February 9, 2008, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-married-and-going-to-grad-school-help/435015/21 "2008-02-09T18:25:36Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Originally posted by **Ruken**  
> _As for distance, if you can’t handle a few years of distance, are you sure you can handle marriage?_

Especially in the first few years of marriage, I think it’s important to live together if possible. In my experience, the relationship itself matures and develops as much as the individual partners do. My friends who’ve done the long distance thing as newly-weds found that while they grew individually during the first few years of their marriage, their _relationship_ had never deeply grown, because they lived so far apart. While my friends were 30 year olds, their relationship was closer to that of a couple in their early 20s. Their marriage is still going through the growing pains that couples who lived together had already experienced in the first couple years of marriage.

Obviously, there are examples of couples who have successful long distance marriages. And if I needed to, I could live away from my husband for a few years. But it would have to be for a far more important reason than school.

(Sorry, **Juliette** , I don’t mean to hijack your thread. I’ll be quiet now.)

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