# Getting milk out of a mattress **URL:** \ **Category:** Factual Questions\ **Created:** [October 12, 2006, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188 "2006-10-12T14:05:01Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 14\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/21 "2006-10-15T02:21:00Z")
Not a plastic mattress cover, which will likely make you AND baby sweat a lot. Might I suggest that you buy a few packs of [disposable mattress pads](http://i17.ebayimg.com/02/i/06/32/6c/39_1.JPG) ? No, they are not available only on eBay- that’s just where I found a clear image. Drug stores and supermarkets sell them near the diapers. They are softer, and absorbent to a degree, yet are all plastic on the backing. Good luck with the reflux, and the oxydizer stuff answer sounds good to me. Destroy the protein, and the mattress will be okay. Cartooniverse ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/22 "2006-10-15T03:18:00Z")
[QUOTE=Cartooniverse] Not a plastic mattress cover, which will likely make you AND baby sweat a lot. [/QUOTE] Good point, but I’ve eliminated that problem by putting on a plastic sheet over the mattress, and then a generously quilted [mattress pad](http://www.overstock.com/?page=proframe&prod_id=84074) over that. No sweats, and the matress pad can go in the washing machine with…vinegar. I found the disposable mattress pads shifted around too much, but YMMV. ---
**Author:** ![Kevbo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e47774/32.png) [@Kevbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kevbo)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 6:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/23 "2006-10-15T06:32:56Z")
I think it is a matter of pissing off the one person who has the means to make the change. If the best friend of the chief engineer of Cadillac had been hurt, he probably couldn’t have sold an electric starter to the CEO on a bet. For example: I like natural stlye peanut butter. I HATE HATE HATE the task of stirring up a new jar. This task would be made about 25% as painful if the jar were only filled 80% full. (Make the jars 20% “too big”) This would make it easy to stir without spilling peanut oil on the counter. It would result in the jars being percieved as “under filled” by the marketing folks, however, so it will never happen regardless the utility…Unless of course the owner of the company that makes the stuff were to actually attempt to consume thier own product. ---
**Author:** ![Pullet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Pullet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pullet)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/24 "2006-10-15T10:14:26Z")
?? \Kevbo\ Too late and too many threads to post in. Second the idea of Nature’s Miracle, mostly because I don’t like the smell of vinegar in my fabrics. Just be sure to use enough to soak to all the places the milk got to. Have fun. ---
**Author:** ![Hostile\_Dialect](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e495f1/32.png) [@Hostile\_Dialect](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hostile_Dialect)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 10:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/25 "2006-10-15T10:41:25Z")
[QUOTE=yanceylebeef] Silly, you don’t get milk out of a mattress, you get milk out of a cow! [/QUOTE] It’s a little known fact that you can actually get milk out of a mattress if you squeeze hard enough. ---
**Author:** ![zuma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9c0ed/32.png) [@zuma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zuma)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/26 "2006-10-15T13:35:58Z")
Define “fountain”. Are you saying she throws up? She’s barfing milk? I think that is what you are trying to say. ---
**Author:** ![Auntbeast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Auntbeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Auntbeast)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/27 "2006-10-15T13:42:07Z")
They have mattress covers for baby cribs that are not plastic (crinkle\*crinkle). Cut off the edge and put it under your sheets. I was rather leery of the plasticy stuff crib mattresses are made out of. Then my daughter was born and 13 months later, boy am I GLAD! \*Future tip: When the tiny little angel you have learns to take off her diaper, put it on backwards, it takes them a long time to figure that out. Poopy Picasso’s indeed… ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/28 "2006-10-15T16:14:59Z")
[QUOTE=WhyNot] I found the disposable mattress pads shifted around too much, but YMMV. [/QUOTE] –squints-- Are you calling me shiftless?? 😃 Personally, I feel that **Kevbo** has given us all a lot to think about here. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/29 "2006-10-15T16:20:47Z")
[QUOTE=Cartooniverse] –squints-- Are you calling me shiftless?? 😃 [/QUOTE] 😃 Good one, punmeister! No, I’m calling myself a fat ass who can’t roll over without taking half the linens with her! **zuma** , I think by “fountain”, the OP meant “fountain”. Babies can achieve some amazing distance, even those that aren’t technically projectile vomiting. If they’re on their backs when they do it, it literally makes a little milky fountain. ---
**Author:** ![freckafree](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/freckafree/32/3050_2.png) [@freckafree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/freckafree)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2006, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/30 "2006-10-15T23:33:44Z")
I’d try OxiClean. I used it to clean a non-machine-washable item that had taken a hit when my son threw up one night, and I was amazed at the result. No residual odor, at all. ---
**Author:** ![Caridwen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c89c15/32.png) [@Caridwen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caridwen)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 12:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/31 "2006-10-16T00:08:26Z")
Third Nature’s Miracle. I use that for anything food related. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/32 "2006-10-16T06:35:37Z")
Actually, **Kevbo** has given us a valuable insight into how our ancestors lived. Back before electrical heating pads or central heating, people who lived in cold climates slept with small gas engines under their beds. To get them started, they had to be cranked before bedtime and allowed to warm up. Then, with enough fuel, they would provide sound sleep for those in the bed. This practice had a linguistic relevance as well: The phrase ‘Got up on the wrong side of the bed.’, meaning ‘ill-tempered’, was coined as a reference to those poor souls who tried to leave the bed on the side the crank had been installed and ended up getting tangled in the thing before they’d even had their coffee. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 11:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/33 "2006-10-16T11:44:18Z")
[QUOTE=Derleth] The phrase ‘Got up on the wrong side of the bed.’, meaning ‘ill-tempered’, was coined as a reference to those poor souls who tried to leave the bed on the side the crank had been installed and ended up getting tangled in the thing before they’d even had their coffee. [/QUOTE] Beating’s too good for ya. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2006, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188/34 "2006-10-16T13:03:00Z")
I say we nuke it from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-milk-out-of-a-mattress/376188.md?page=1)