# Getting unexpectedly naked on a date? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [November 27, 2008, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646 "2008-11-27T02:22:24Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Rigamarole](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/77aa72/32.png) [@Rigamarole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rigamarole)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/41 "2008-11-28T00:03:50Z")
> [@robertliguori](#): > > Uh, **Swallows**? Have you interacted with a large number of women? If so, I am reasonably sure you have interacted with a woman who claims to be regular, ordinary, etc., and for whom a strict majority of guys would cheerfully tear their clothes off. Perhaps we have had different life experiences, but I (who also considers myself mostly average) would think “Hey, this woman wants me and isn’t shy about letting me know! Awesome!” before I’d think “Augh! Crazy! Run away!” Self-confidence is one thing, delusions of grandeur are another. You’re walking a fine line here. ---
**Author:** ![Junior\_Spaceman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/eb8c5e/32.png) [@Junior\_Spaceman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Junior_Spaceman)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/42 "2008-11-28T00:18:32Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > According to Philip Roth, from whom the expression got to me, it’s “Ven der putz shteht, ligt der sechel in drerd.” Although “… in drerd” literally is probably translatable as “in the ground”, it is colloquially closer to “… in the shit”, so the second part of the saying could be translated as something like “… the senses/mind go to shit”. As for the overall topic, there’s a radio announcer here (Richard Stubbs) who has a saying which I like to live my life by: > [@](#): > > If you ever find yourself in a situation where you’re among people, and you’re naked, and they’re not, there’s probably something wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Mahna\_Mahna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e47c2d/32.png) [@Mahna\_Mahna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahna_Mahna)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/43 "2008-11-28T01:09:32Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > As much as I’d like to think I’m Mr. Scottie McHottie, devilishly handsome, with a body that Brad Pitt would envy, George Clooney’s bank account, and the ability to charm any girl out of her pants, the cold hard reality is that I’m just an _ordinary guy_. I’m decent looking, I think. I’m fit, I can make a girl laugh, and I’ve been told I’m a fun date because I like to do fun things, but bottom line: I’m just your average Joe. Sure I’ve had a few good shags on a first date, but girls (ETA: _sane_ girls) generally don’t throw themselves at guys like me in such a blatant fashion. Really into me? Sometimes. Naked surprise? No. > > Anyone who was _so aggressively eager_ to jump my bones on the first date, I’d suspect of ulterior motives. Like maybe she’s trying to make someone jealous who’s going to try to whup my ass later, or she’s already pregnant and looking for someone to trick into taking responsibility for someone else’s kid, or maybe she’s going to be tomorrow’s stalker. Either way, it just wouldn’t sit right with me. Really worthwhile women don’t tear their clothes off for regular guys like me. Fair enough. Then again, I’m rather a rather ordinary looking gal who has no delusions of becoming a Maxim cover model… and yet a man or two has been known to throw himself at me. Attraction’s a funny thing. Also, I can vouch for the total lack of crazy/ulterior motive/STD/whatever on the part of Mr. Naked von Hopsinbed, as we’re still on friendly terms (our relationship didn’t work out for reasons that have nothing to do with his propensity to unexpectedly drop trou.. these days we keep our clothes on when we’re around each other). In fact, he’s one of my favourite exes, mostly because he had a habit of doing madcap stuff like that. I guess it might be one of those things that’s different depending on which gender is doing what, but I’m just sayin’ that finding your date unexpectedly got naked while your back was turned isn’t always cause for panic. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Soapbox\_Monkey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ed655f/32.png) [@Soapbox\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soapbox_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/44 "2008-11-28T01:24:14Z")
> [@Santo\_Rugger](#): > > Heck, I used to do it all the time in college. It was a bit different than the scenario being described in this thread. I’d invite the gal upstairs (I lived in an A frame, so all that was upstairs was the bedroom). If she said yes, it was pretty obvious what was going to happen (usually). I got pretty good at running up the stairs and getting completely naked by the time I was at the top. About 3/4 of the time, she would be right behind me. About 1/4 of the time, she would be standing at the bottom. The remark I usually got in the latter situation was, "What the _fuck_ are you doing? It still worked about 50% of the time in the “bottom of the stairs” situations.Interesting. What planet do you live on? Because I believe the text you quoted describes reality quite well. Well, women must find you very sexually attractive if it’s so effective for you. Not all of us guys are so fortunate. ---
**Author:** ![pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pseudotriton_ruber_ruber)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/45 "2008-11-28T01:30:07Z")
> [@Junior\_Spaceman](#): > > Although “… in drerd” literally is probably translatable as “in the ground”, it is colloquially closer to “… in the shit” I think not. “in drerd” is literally (you can almost hear it) “in the earth.” Plenty of other Yiddish phrases use it the same exact way we use “in the earth,” "in the ground, “buried,” etc., as for example the Yiddish/English joke about the women discussing their “cultural marriages,” in which their husbands take them to the opera, the museum, the ballet…until one woman says she has an “agri-culural marriage.” “Vos iss dass? ‘An agricultural marriage’?” “Yes. Ich hob imm in drerd, Ehr hat mir in drerd.” [Literally, “I have him in the ground, he has me in the ground,” more colloguially, “I say to hell with him, he says to hell with me.”] The joke relies on “agricultural” for its central pun. I don’t where you get ‘shit’ from. ---
**Author:** ![Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/4da419/32.png) [@Gala\_Matrix\_Fire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gala_Matrix_Fire)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/46 "2008-11-28T01:40:03Z")
I saw that episode. The naked guy said it worked two out of three times. Barney thought it was the greatest idea ever, and pressured Ted to try it. One important factor is that it was a last-ditch maneuver after they’d determined that they had no future with the woman in question. ---
**Author:** ![Sarahfeena](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sarahfeena/32/519_2.png) [@Sarahfeena](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sarahfeena)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/47 "2008-11-28T01:44:11Z")
> [@aruvqan](#): > > Female > > Did happen to be way back in about 1982. > > He got dressed when I picked up the phone and started to call the police. It was a neighbor who came over to ‘borrow’ a broiler pan … > > If it had been someone I even had been on a date with I probably would have laughed, but a more or less total stranger … I don’t think so. Oh my god…you weren’t even on a date? :eek: That is unbelieveable! What a complete ass. ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/48 "2008-11-28T02:07:17Z")
> [@pseudotriton\_ruber\_ruber](#): > > I think not. “in drerd” is literally (you can almost hear it) “in the earth.” Plenty of other Yiddish phrases use it the same exact way we use “in the earth,” "in the ground, “buried,” etc., as for example the Yiddish/English joke about the women discussing their “cultural marriages,” in which their husbands take them to the opera, the museum, the ballet…until one woman says she has an “agri-culural marriage.” > > “Vos iss dass? ‘An agricultural marriage’?” > > “Yes. Ich hob imm in drerd, Ehr hat mir in drerd.” [Literally, “I have him in the ground, he has me in the ground,” more colloguially, “I say to hell with him, he says to hell with me.”] The joke relies on “agricultural” for its central pun. I don’t where you get ‘shit’ from. Ah, you city boys. Where would agriculture be without fertilizer, that is, shit? ---
**Author:** ![Convict](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ad7895/32.png) [@Convict](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Convict)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/49 "2008-11-28T05:07:57Z")
> [@Cuckoorex](#): > > Funny thing is, if the genders were reversed (and assuming that the females would be something less than hideous) it would TOTALLY work on most guys, myself included. It was the summer after my 16th birthday. I was out and about with two female classmates. Had to stop off at the house to make a phone call and invited the girls inside. After getting off the phone I yelled for the girls and heard them in my bedroom. Went up and found them in t-shirts and panties and was told to “choose” one of them. I made my “choice” and when alone with her told her to get dressed. I then took them home. The one who came up with this idea though it would be a good way to express her feelings for me. All it did was show what a psycho she was. I did date the other one a few years later (but not because of what happened that day). Anyway, even with my raging 16 year old hormones it didn’t work. Maybe if she had tried it a few years later… ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/50 "2008-11-28T05:45:43Z")
> [@Convict](#): > > It was the summer after my 16th birthday. I was out and about with two female classmates. Had to stop off at the house to make a phone call and invited the girls inside. After getting off the phone I yelled for the girls and heard them in my bedroom. Went up and found them in t-shirts and panties and was told to “choose” one of them. I made my “choice” and when alone with her told her to get dressed. I then took them home. > > The one who came up with this idea though it would be a good way to express her feelings for me. All it did was show what a psycho she was. I did date the other one a few years later (but not because of what happened that day). > > Anyway, even with my raging 16 year old hormones it didn’t work. Maybe if she had tried it a few years later… Dude… you say “both.” ---
**Author:** ![The\_Tof](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@The\_Tof](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Tof)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 1:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/51 "2008-11-28T13:39:27Z")
> [@Snarky\_Kong](#): > > Dude… you say “both.” You read my mind.. When someone asks you to choose between two girls in tshirts and panties… you say BOTH! To the OP- I have never heard of this, been involved in any way shape or form of this behavior. ---
**Author:** ![robertliguori](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/46a35a/32.png) [@robertliguori](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robertliguori)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/52 "2008-11-28T14:45:30Z")
> [@Rigamarole](#): > > Self-confidence is one thing, delusions of grandeur are another. You’re walking a fine line here. I certainly agree that random nudity can be a sign of crazy, but nudity when we are in private after a date isn’t notably random. As I said, I do not believe that I am super-sexy; I do believe that there exist women out there that are sane, attracted to me, and willing to get unexpectedly naked to demonstrate said attraction. Had I not encountered these women, and had encountered a lot of crazy women, doubtless I would feel differently. ---
**Author:** ![RandMcnally](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b782af/32.png) [@RandMcnally](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RandMcnally)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/53 "2008-11-28T14:47:43Z")
> [@The\_Tof](#): > > When someone asks you to choose between two girls in tshirts and panties… you say BOTH! It probably would have worked too. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/54 "2008-11-28T15:15:17Z")
> [@Mahna\_Mahna](#): > > I guess it might be one of those things that’s different depending on which gender is doing what, but I’m just sayin’ that finding your date unexpectedly got naked while your back was turned isn’t always cause for panic. 🙂 Well, I was exaggerating when I suggested “panic”, but really, if on a first date I went into the kitchen to get snacks, then came back into the living room to find the woman totally buck, I would think “there are way more issues here than I want to be involved with.” That’s why I said anyone I find “worthwhile”, just wouldn’t do that. Someone I knew _better than a first date_ and who I understood was carefree and spontaneous, I would understand, but a first date wherein the girl didn’t really know me? That seems like risky behavior to me. I could be a serial killer for all she knew. Someone who, unprompted, would tear off all her clothes for a virtual stranger is just not someone I would want to get involved with. I may give off a “fun, trust worthy guy” vibe, but c’mon, you’re ripping your clothes off for a stranger! That’s a red flag to me. At least two women in this thread have said their response would be to call the cops or “threw a speaker at him and ran”. My response isn’t so different, except there’s probably less of a sense of immediate physical danger. That said, there are always exceptions. Sometimes you meet someone you gel with so very well, that over a long evening you develop a reasonable sense of trust and a good idea of their decency. As you said, in your case it had been obvious for quite awhile during the evening that penis would ensue, so it wasn’t actually totally unexpected. But someone totally, _unexpectedly_ appearing naked in my kitchen doorway would have me calling her a cab to send her home. [QUOTE=Soapbox Monkey] Well, women must find you very sexually attractive if it’s so effective for you. Not all of us guys are so fortunate. [/quote] Well, in **Santo Rugger** ’s defense, his college shenanigans did basically include the “come to my bedroom” invitation to which the girls acquiesced. And it sounds like the times things went sour was when there was a miscommunication about the nature of the invitation. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/55 "2008-11-28T16:03:33Z")
> [@cosmosdan](#): > > Maybe this is another thread but I’ve had several incidents where female friends of mine came on to me when they were pretty drunk. I thought I was being a nice guy by not taking advantage of them. Now years later I realize they likely wouldn’t have felt bad later at all. The alcohol was just a convenient excuse and they probably acted more intoxicated than they actually were. In other words, instead of a nice guy, I was really a naive dumb ass. :smack: Well, speaking as a woman here, _I_ think you sound like a decent guy and that you did the right thing. Maybe your friends wouldn’t have felt bad about it later, but a woman who isn’t willing to “own” her desire to have sex with you isn’t worth your time. If they were completely smashed then it would have been taking advantage, and if they weren’t as drunk as they seemed then they were being manipulative. You don’t need that. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/56 "2008-11-28T16:48:37Z")
I mean you go home to her place-and she announces “I’ll just slip into something more comfortable”! And, that “something more comfortable” turns out to be nothing! Dang! How come that never happened to me? ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Fight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/90ced4/32.png) [@Cat\_Fight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Fight)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/57 "2008-11-28T16:57:52Z")
This happened to a friend of mine a while back after a first date. Instead of the usual make-out session and piece-by-piece clothing removal ritual, he went from talking to her fully clothed to excusing himself to go the bathroom to calling her from the bedroom. She found him naked in bed. She had planned on having sex with him, and did, but perhaps it goes without saying that it was less than spectacular. ---
**Author:** ![Illuminatiprimus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/illuminatiprimus/32/11520_2.png) [@Illuminatiprimus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Illuminatiprimus)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/58 "2008-11-28T17:04:01Z")
> [@Lamia](#): > > …but a woman who isn’t willing to “own” her desire to have sex with you isn’t worth your time. I’ve yet to see this thought more concisely summarised - thanks **Lamia** , I shall be quoting you whenever I’m having this kind of discussion in the future. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Santo\_Rugger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e95f7d/32.png) [@Santo\_Rugger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Santo_Rugger)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/59 "2008-11-28T18:27:10Z")
> [@Soapbox\_Monkey](#): > > Well, women must find you very sexually attractive if it’s so effective for you. Not all of us guys are so fortunate. This: > [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Well, in **Santo Rugger** ’s defense, his college shenanigans did basically include the “come to my bedroom” invitation to which the girls acquiesced. And it sounds like the times things went sour was when there was a miscommunication about the nature of the invitation. Except, when things went sour, it was never really a big deal. It usually ended up with me getting laughed at; no phone call to the cops or things being thrown. > [@Rigamarole](#): > > Self-confidence is one thing, delusions of grandeur are another. You’re walking a fine line here. I interpreted this exactly the opposite. To me, he was saying that there are plenty of people who are more attractive than they think they are. Just because somebody thinks they are average, doesn’t mean there aren’t hundreds of people that would want to have sex with them. ---
**Author:** ![bufftabby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/77aa72/32.png) [@bufftabby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bufftabby)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2008, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646/60 "2008-11-28T18:36:20Z")
This has not happened to me, but it could be acceptable under the right circumstances. Let’s say I knew the guy in question platonically for a bit, but we had progressed into first date territory at the moment in question. If the chemistry was right, I think I’d be pretty amused at a strip-down like **Santo Rugger** ’s, and follow suit. (Yes, Rugger, that means you can feel free to get naked at any point, should you meet me). I’d probably even clap if he managed a jackrabbit-like clothing removal. Oddly enough, I think I would feel completely different if the person in question was female. I’d feel like I was pretty deep in psycho territory (don’t put your finger in the crazy!) and would suggest an immediate parting of ways. And if the person were a t-girl, I suppose I’d just have to ask her to keep her top on! 😃 -buff, a classy lady [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/getting-unexpectedly-naked-on-a-date/474646.md?page=4)