# Giant Battle Monsters, featuring Guinastasia and Libertarian. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 25, 2003, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801 "2003-09-25T18:11:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/21 "2003-09-26T07:41:59Z")
detop is a Giant Squid that leaves a Trail of Goo, and spits Ice. Strength: 7 Agility: 3 Intelligence: 10 Cold Attack! Close enough for government work šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![H3Knuckles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ba8739/32.png) [@H3Knuckles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/H3Knuckles)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 9:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/22 "2003-09-26T09:37:53Z")
WAAAAHHHH!!! H3Knuckles is a Giant Man-Eating Plant that dislikes Modern Architecture, and dissolves in Water. Strength 4 Agility 1 Intelligence 3 I SUCK! _sobs loudly_ AWESOME site though! Hilarious! Should definitely nominate it for Weird Earls! ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/23 "2003-09-26T13:40:45Z")
**Zebra** is a Giant Ant that carries a Ray Gun, kidnaps Blonde Women, has Four Sets of Teeth, and looks like a Man in a Rubber Suit.(Strength: 6 Agility: 5 Intelligence: 8) And I attacked **slortar** (a Giant Moth that Stomps Around a Lot, picks up Cars and Throws Them, and eats Trees.) using intelligence I used my radiation attack Result **Zebra Wins!** That that you stompy, car throwing bastard! ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/24 "2003-09-26T13:54:33Z")
Grey is an Average-Sized Squid that was Found beneath the Ice at the South Pole, drinks Human Blood, has a Toughened Steel Skeleton and a Massively Swollen Skull, and picks up Cars and Throws Them. Strength: 4 Agility: 3 Intelligence: 14 The blood drinking is a nice touch, but a squid? ---
**Author:** ![Phlosphr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c68b51/32.png) [@Phlosphr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Phlosphr)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/25 "2003-09-26T14:39:34Z")
**Phlosphr** is a small gnat-type creature. Who controls people with his mind - which when looked at isnā€™t small as one would expect, but actually houses the universe as we know it. So sorry folks, agility, intelligence, and strength are only given to those who think they can actually perceive them. Otherwise, you are only bumping into each other because I allow it to happen. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![detop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/bcef8e/32.png) [@detop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/detop)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/26 "2003-09-26T14:40:43Z")
Not only that, but a squid with a **steel** endo-skeleton šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![slortar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6bbea6/32.png) [@slortar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/slortar)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 3:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/27 "2003-09-26T15:11:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zebra \* > \*\ ***Zebra** is a Giant Ant that carries a Ray Gun, kidnaps Blonde Women, has Four Sets of Teeth, and looks like a Man in a Rubber Suit.(Strength: 6 Agility: 5 Intelligence: 8) > > And I attacked **slortar** (a Giant Moth that Stomps Around a Lot, picks up Cars and Throws Them, and eats Trees.) > using intelligence > I used my radiation attack > > Result **Zebra Wins!** That that you stompy, car throwing bastard! \*\* Just try that with Agility, you silly little bug. šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![Gotterfunken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/58956e/32.png) [@Gotterfunken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gotterfunken)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/28 "2003-09-26T17:07:32Z")
[Skopo](http://thesurrealist.co.uk/monster?def=Skopo) is a Collosal Blob that Fears Nothing, is Wreathed with Flames, controls Human Thought, drinks Human Blood, and has a single Horn on its Forehead. Interestingly, thatā€™s almost an exact copy of my CV. ---
**Author:** ![Grey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b782af/32.png) [@Grey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grey)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 5:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/29 "2003-09-26T17:13:18Z")
Yeah, but can you work well with others? ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/30 "2003-09-26T17:25:16Z")
vibrotronica is a Human-Sized Mecha-Blob that breathes Fire, leaves a Trail of Goo, is Highly Flammable, and has four Extra Limbs and Dozens of Tentacles. Strength: 5 Agility: 1 Intelligence: 1 worst. giant battle monster. ever. ---
**Author:** ![Ceejaytee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ceejaytee/32/2956_2.png) [@Ceejaytee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ceejaytee)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/31 "2003-09-26T19:45:08Z")
Apparently, they donā€™t get any lamer than **Ceejaytee** : a Tiny Mecha-Lizard that controls the Weather, Screeches when Angry, and has Four Sets of Teeth, an Extra Head and Suckers on its Feet. Strength: 1 Agility: 5 Intelligence: 5 Although, I do screech when angry, and suckers on feet would undoubtedly come in handy when hiking and well, with four sets of teeth, I could easily conquer a pizza, and . ā€¦ . forget it. Iā€™m a lame giant battle monster. But waitā€“using my actual first name: **Cathy** is a Giant Robot that is Highly Flammable, and picks up Cars and Throws Them. Yes! ---
**Author:** ![Skeezix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/839c29/32.png) [@Skeezix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skeezix)\ **Post date:** [September 26, 2003, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/32 "2003-09-26T19:55:48Z")
At the risk of depressing yā€™all, anyone tried **The Straight Dope** vs **Ignorance** using intelligence? Weā€™re doomed! ---
**Author:** ![carrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@carrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carrot)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/33 "2003-09-28T19:22:56Z")
**Ignorance** has a better intelligence number than **The Straight Dope**? Thatā€™s practically Zen. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/34 "2003-09-28T20:26:09Z")
Okay, I just found my new sig! šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [September 28, 2003, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/35 "2003-09-28T20:51:16Z")
Otto is a Giant Moth that can Leap Great Distances and Generate Electricity, cowers from Fire, and has Staring Red Eyes. Strength: 2 Agility: 7 Intelligence: 6 Under my real _first_ name only I am a Giant Ape that cowers from Fire, has a Swirly Hypnotic Gaze, spits Ice, and eats Trees. Strength: 7 Agility: 4 Intelligence: 5 Under my first and last name I am a Giant Squid that is Extremely Hydrophobic, and has Black-and-White Stripes. Strength: 6 Agility: 4 Intelligence: 9 So in real life I am a sea creature whoā€™s either afraid of water or rabid, but on the plus side I own all the land on earth. Now where did I put that deed? ---
**Author:** ![furt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/439d5e/32.png) [@furt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furt)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 2:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/36 "2003-09-29T02:09:54Z")
Ladies: ā€œEnormous Tusks and a Long, Prehensile Tongueā€ ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Dirx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b77776/32.png) [@Sir\_Dirx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Dirx)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 3:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/37 "2003-09-29T03:03:25Z")
Sir Dirx is a Giant Lizard that is Susceptible to Electrical Damage, carries a Flamethrower, and has a Single Giant Eye. Strength: 10 Agility: 6 Intelligence: 3 Nice. I can be defeated by a car battery, and I canā€™t aim my flamethrower because I have no depth perception. But, if I use my real, full name, I am a Giant Moth that CANNOT BE STOPPED, kidnaps Blonde Women, and has a Toughened Steel Skeleton. Strength: 6 Agility: 11 Intelligence: 8 Thatā€™s more like it. ---
**Author:** ![Noone\_Really](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce7236/32.png) [@Noone\_Really](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Noone_Really)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/38 "2003-09-29T22:54:29Z")
I can beat up God, Jesus and the Holy Spirit. Hooray. ---
**Author:** ![Weirddave](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/919ad9/32.png) [@Weirddave](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirddave)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/39 "2003-09-30T01:20:15Z")
Dave is a Planet-Sized Mecha-Ant that is Sensitive to Noise, and has Huge, Sharp Claws and an Extra Head. Strength: 32 Agility: 1 Intelligence: 10 [Anyone up for a brute force battle?](http://thesurrealist.co.uk/monster?def=Dave) ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2003, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801/40 "2003-09-30T01:27:25Z")
ROBOX is a 300-foot high mechanical version of Babe the Blue Ox, of Paul Bunyon fame. Originally intended to be an attraction at Minnesotaā€™s Mall Of America, it was secretly retrofitted by the CIA as an experimental battle bot. But something went terribly wrong; an alien energy being possessed itā€™s circuitry and set it off on a rampage of destruction. Only first before destroying all humans, it must eliminate all those other pesky giant robots and monsters that could contest it for control of the Earth. Height: 98 meters at the shoulder Weight: 1/2 million metric tonnes Weaponry: High energy lasers built into eyes; megasonic ā€œmooā€; gas dispensers in nostrils; multiple deployable ports along body for rockets and automatic cannon. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giant-battle-monsters-featuring-guinastasia-and-libertarian/203801.md?page=3)