"Gilligan's Island" burning question...

Coconut centrifuge and coconut spectrophotometer?

The pool is much bigger than the opening credits would have us think. There is the Japanese guy with the thick glasses and miniature submarine, Wrong Way Feldman (Hans Conried), The Producer (Phil Silvers), Erika Tiffany Smith (Zsa Zsa Gabor) and I seem to recall something about the Harlem Globetrotters making an appearance - but something’s not right about the timeline there because the trotters aren’t that old.

His name was Russel Johnson, and if you google him, you will discover amazing facts on his web site. He was a bad guy in westerns and played in films with Audie Murphy. If you go to his official website, there is actually a list of things he invented on the Island, including:

-bamboo lie detector
(hooked up to the ship’s horn and the radio’s batteries)

-a coconut shell battery recharger

-a bamboo telescope

-a Geiger counter

  • jet-pack fuel

-a bamboo xylophone

  • keptibora-berry extract to remedy Gilligan’s double vision

-an assortment of tonics, antiseptics, poisons, “spider cider” (to kill off gargantuan morning spiders) and even a batch of nitroglycerine

-soap made from plant fats

-shark repellent

-a pedal-powered bamboo sewing machine

  • lead radiation suits and make-up
    (protection from a meteor’s cosmic rays)

  • a helium balloon
    (rubber raincoats sewn together and sealed with tree sap)

  • a strychnine serum that temporarily
    paralyzes Gilligan

  • an electrode linked to to a pedal-powered generator

-a washing machine, water pump and telegraph, all pedal-powered

  • Mr. Howell’s roulette wheel and pool table

All of these are found in a book written by Johnson named “Here on Gilligan’s Isle”. But I must take exception on one of his claims. Soap made from plant fat is NOT his invention. As any Jew who keeps kosher will tell you, kosher soap is made from plant fats, and is used to wash dishes. That way, animal fats used in conventional soap do not end up touching the dishes usd for dairy products.

Of course, with the advent of dishwashing detergent that has never been near an animal fat, I have no idea if kosher soap is still made or used in strictly kosher households.

Glad to see I am not the only one whou thought along those lines.

That is what I meant when I said:

(I fixed the Winston FU)

You don’t remember the episode where she made Gulligan eat her pie to gain weight so he could fulfill his lifelong goal of becoming a seaman? What a dick. How big a hint do you need little buddy?

Worse yet: coconut condoms :eek:

Heh heh. You said “eat her pie.” How come there’s no Beavis smilie?

Didn’t new genetic material tend to make appearances pretty regularly? I don’t recall many women showing up but that is OK because the guests never stuck around for long anyway. However, I am sure any of the men, even the deranged ones, would be up for a quick lay with Ginger and/or Mary Ann. I have to assume this phenomena would continue with future generations and I would suppose that once word got around back on the mainland, there would be plenty of people crashing/getting shipwrecked there for a short time.

there was a splinter group on the other side of the island that tried it unsuccessfully.

I forgot to mention the worst invention by the Professor: The bamboo meat and rectal thermometer. The idea was later stolen by K-Tell and offered on a TV promo ad.

To actually take the OP seriously, here’s what I came up with:

The first generation (founding castaways) has two fertile women and four men. So their children (second generation) can be in eight different genetic groups. They in turn can pair off in twelve different ways in which their chldren (third generation, grandchildren of original castaways) have no inbreeding. However at this point, all the third generation people have the same two grandmothers, which makes them all more than first cousins. Any of the original four males who might still be around to sire children by third generation females would be helpful. If an old but still frisky Gilligan had children with a female who was not one of his daughters or granddaughters, her children would have one grandmother (Gilligan’s mother) not related to Mary Ann or Ginger. So you could get to a fourth generation without any direct inbreeding. But that fourth gneration would pretty much have to breed with at least first cousins and possibly double first cousins. So the gene pool would be pretty limited; but if the island could support a large enough population (doubtful), you could get by.

Actually, the OP is assuming an incorrect definition of the term mutation. A mutation is a new allele (a change in one or more bases in the DNA itself), not just a new combination of existing alleles. When people inherent a deadly double recessive gene, they aren’t “mutants”, they’re just really unlucky.

The OP might be interested in reading up on these two phenomena, which address the “Gilligan Island” problem:

Founder effect

Population Bottleneck

Both effects have been observed in human populations on a number of occasions. For example, the Out of Africa hypothesis for how Eurasia, Australia, and the Americas were populated postulates a very small founding population leaving Africa about 50K years ago and from whom all non-Africans are descended. Estimates of the size of this population vary, but one recent estimate puts it at only a few hundred individuals. That’s pretty astonishing when you think about it.

I just thought of another factor: remember when that famous band showed up on the island (what was their name, the Mosquitos?) and Ginger & Mary-Anne became their groupies? Well, we should agree that there’s a high probability that the two fertile female Castaways were inseminated by four guys who played lousy 60’s music. Probably during the fermented guava juice backstage after-party.

To look at it another way, we must assign each male visitor a “probability of insemination” based on the fertile female Castaways reaction. For example, Ginger & Mary-Anne were attracted to those Russian astronauts, or seduced them for information (again I cannot remember due to loss of brain cells during college parties drinking fermented guava-juice).

So I’d give that musical group over an 85% chance of fertilizing one female, the Russian astronauts around 75%, and Wrong-Way Feldman 2%. I mean, really, who’d get it on with Wrong-Way Feldman? He’s just GRODY. Eyewwwww!

Actually, the glue was water-soluble; i.e., it disolves in water.

D’oh! I hoped someone would not have found that embarrassing little mistake. I am chagrined.

However, it’s not as bad as a professor NOT checking the water INSOLUBILITY properties of a glue before slapping it on a boat :smiley:

I thought it was common knowledge that the Professor and Mary Ann were an item. One can explain his not leering by the simple assumption that he was actually, you know, polite. Yes, believe it or not, it’s possible for a fertile heterosexual male to be polite to an attractive female. I always figured that he waited a few months to give her time to get over her ex-fiance, but after that, they were a natural couple.

Valteron, I don’t think anyone is claiming that the Professor was the first person ever to make soap from plant fats. He also wasn’t the first to make a Geiger counter, or a roulette wheel, or most of the other things on that list. It’s just a list of useful things he was able to make from the materials at hand.

On a desserted island with little hope for rescue?


Heck, I’d be quite interested in Mary Ann even without the whole “desert island” thing. But what does that have to do with good manners?

Nitpick: it wasn’t that the glue was water soluable, but that it deteriorated after a few days. As Gilligan put it- “It’s permanent, but only temporarily”. Although I still don’t know why the whole damn boat fell apart simply because they’d glued a patch over the hole in the hull.

Ever read Lord of the Flies? I have generally good manners, but I would imagine more of a break down in social order. Along with that, I’m just havin’ some fun.:wink: