# Gimme a really good reason to send you a postcard from Italy **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [March 11, 2000, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699 "2000-03-11T10:42:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/1 "2000-03-11T10:42:00Z")
Top 15 reasons will get 'em in the mail via Carrier On-board Delivery and U.S. Mail. Contest ends midnight (EST) 13 March 2000. * * * Voted **Best Sport** And narrowly averted the despised moniker **Smiley Master** Forward deployed until 18AUG00 ---
**Author:** ![ChiefScott](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58f4c7/32.png) [@ChiefScott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ChiefScott)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 10:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/2 "2000-03-11T10:45:00Z")
P.S. E-mail me your address. * * * Voted **Best Sport** And narrowly averted the despised moniker **Smiley Master** Forward deployed until 18AUG00 ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/3 "2000-03-11T14:09:00Z")
I am a universally beloved figure , & the idol of millions. Or is that Kato Kaelen? šŸ˜ƒ * * * You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment."-Bill Hicks ā€œYou should tell the lies, live the truth and expose yourself.ā€ - Bill Clinton ---
**Author:** ![GraceTX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c4cdca/32.png) [@GraceTX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GraceTX)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/4 "2000-03-11T14:32:00Z")
The Air Force is sending my little brother to Naples at the end of April. A picture would help the young lad recognize the place where heā€™s supposed to get off?! * * * ā€œI love being married. Itā€™s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Ringo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/779978/32.png) [@Ringo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ringo)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/5 "2000-03-11T14:44:00Z")
a) Because I asked? b) Positive proof that sailors are literate? ---
**Author:** ![jazzmine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/5daacb/32.png) [@jazzmine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jazzmine)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 4:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/6 "2000-03-11T16:08:00Z")
Why, Chief, because Iā€™ve watched you and GBS for a long time now, was around when you had to leave for a little bit to make her feel better, and was SO proud of you for doing so. Because a stronger supporter for you two youā€™ll never find, even if weā€™ve never talked. Because youā€™re cute and sheā€™s beautiful. trisha ---
**Author:** ![Per](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/9f8e36/32.png) [@Per](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Per)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/7 "2000-03-11T16:20:00Z")
Because I asked real nice and said cheesy please? Safe trip. ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Watson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Dr.Watson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Watson)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/8 "2000-03-11T16:23:00Z")
Because poor little Timmy has had both his kidneys stolen, and his Mom was shot dead in a gang initiation when she flashed her headlights at an oncoming car, and his Dad has AIDS from getting stuck by an infected needle that someone put in the coin return slot with a note wrapped around it, and the American Red Cross said theyā€™ll donate one kidney for every five hundred postcards from Italy that people send to Timmy, and Bill Gates will send Timmy $10,000.00 and give him a trip to Disney World if at least 100 of the postcards have a Proctor and Gamble symbol on them. Thatā€™s why. Donā€™t do it for me, do it for little Timmy. Dr. Watson ā€œPhilanthropy is my life.ā€ ---
**Author:** ![Ukulele\_Ike](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/df788c/32.png) [@Ukulele\_Ike](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ukulele_Ike)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/9 "2000-03-11T16:24:00Z")
Because Iā€™m going to Sicily in two weeks and know almost NO Italian? Skip the ā€œHaving a wonderful timeā€ nonsense and tell me how to say ā€œBugs Moran could kick Al Caponeā€™s butt.ā€ Hope youā€™re enjoying the liberty! * * * Uke ---
**Author:** ![Lucretia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/13edae/32.png) [@Lucretia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucretia)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/10 "2000-03-11T16:31:00Z")
LOL, Dr. Watson, that was hysterical. Chief, you should send one not to me, but to Bluesman, my wonderful husband, your brother in arms, who is also far away from his family for a long time at the behest of his country. And, heā€™ll send you one back from that lovely garden spot, Saudi Arabia. Ooooh, wonā€™t you be jealous. ---
**Author:** ![Ophanim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8491ac/32.png) [@Ophanim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ophanim)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/11 "2000-03-11T17:10:00Z")
NO DAMMIT!!! JAPAN! JAPAN! Oh, and could you send me a Russian bride, it gets cold hereā€¦ round bedtime! Oh, and no fatties or ugmoes! * * * Kisses! }\>\<(((^\>\<^)))\>\<{ Ophy ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 5:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/12 "2000-03-11T17:54:00Z")
ā€¦because I have Satan on my side. ---
**Author:** ![Nanno](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Nanno](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanno)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/13 "2000-03-11T20:11:00Z")
Why? because I have never been there and it would be so very nice of you to share your experiences with me. Think of all the memories we would have! ---
**Author:** ![Totilhate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/9d8465/32.png) [@Totilhate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Totilhate)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/14 "2000-03-11T20:32:00Z")
Because I am GBSā€™s daughterā€¦and if you donā€™t, Iā€™ll tell her itā€™s because you hate me and things could begin to spiral from thereā€¦but. **smiling coyly** ā€¦if you get me something really cool, Iā€™ll tell GBS how awesome you are and how she should keep you aroundā€¦ Ohā€¦and donā€™t forget my birthday is in 3 weeksā€¦this is your opportunity to get major cool points from meā€¦ šŸ™‚ Heyā€¦I gotta get something outta of this šŸ™‚ -Chris (youā€™d think something is wrong if I didnā€™t mess with yaā€¦ :)) ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/15 "2000-03-11T21:23:00Z")
I want an Italian postcard, with Italian postmark, manufactured by real Italians, signed in Italianā€¦or some reasonable approximation thereof, **because,** _in primo luogo,_ I love Italy, Italians, & Italian culture, _in secondo luogo,_ Iā€™m planning to take on an Italian persona (probably Florentine, _maybe_ Sicilian) in the Society for Creative Anachronism, and _in terzo luogo,_ it would make me very very happyā€“_capite?_ And, hey, I spent way too much time on [babelfish](http://babelfish.altavista.com) figuring out how best to write this, so, I should get _something,_ no? ---
**Author:** ![foolsguinea](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foolsguinea/32/14751_2.png) [@foolsguinea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/foolsguinea)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/16 "2000-03-11T21:32:00Z")
P.S.: No! No! ā€œGuineaā€ is an English coin! Good Grief! By the time it sunk in, Iā€™d already stuck myself with the name, OK? ---
**Author:** ![Ayesha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c0e974/32.png) [@Ayesha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ayesha)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 10:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/17 "2000-03-11T22:08:00Z")
Because I am not going to use any smilies in this post. Because I will never go to Italy myself. ::sobbing:: * * * " The opposite of love isnā€™t hate, itā€™s indifference." Elie Wiesel Voted SDMB Biggest Flirt (Female) and Least Shy (No Mom, I have no idea why they think that) ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 10:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/18 "2000-03-11T22:32:00Z")
Because I have never willingly inflicted a smiley on you. Because I am officially (as ludicrous as it is) the Most Valuable mundane and pointless poster, the friendliest and the Female most posters would sell their right arms (not to mention Little Timmyā€™s dialysis machine) to meet. Because GBS likes me and youā€™re not gonna do something hopelessly stupid like question her taste, hmmmm? Because how often in the past have you neglected to bring cheer and sunshine into the life of a dedicated, self-effacing librarian? Besides, I egged you on to some of your finest (::ahem: šŸ™‚ moments in Guy Stuff Classic. Veb ---
**Author:** ![Girlbysea](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Girlbysea](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Girlbysea)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/19 "2000-03-11T23:15:00Z")
Honey, if you donā€™t send Dr. Watson something, I am!!! and please donā€™t forget my buddy Vebā€¦ * * * * * * Girlbysea (AKA: ChiefScottā€™s GBS) ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [March 11, 2000, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699/20 "2000-03-11T23:33:00Z")
Thanks, Girlbysea! And in all honesty, I think we should all innudate Dr. Watson with postcards for his hilarious offering. I have the perfect one picked out for him: pitch black background with cheery blue lettering: ā€œNight Life in \_\_\_\_!ā€ Okay, midwestern humor. Though Dr. Watson strikes me as much too sensible to post his mailing address here for the assorted lunatics and misfitsā€“not to mention every other doofus, pervert and web insect to use. Sorry. Tangent. Carry on. Veb [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/gimme-a-really-good-reason-to-send-you-a-postcard-from-italy/14699.md?page=2)