# Giraffe, Best. Pit. Cleaner. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 27, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781 "2005-05-27T17:17:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Reeder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Reeder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeder)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 9:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/21 "2005-05-27T21:36:33Z")
**Leaves a roll of toilet paper on the table** For those that have some of that brown stuff on their noses. šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 9:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/22 "2005-05-27T21:46:56Z")
Wellā€¦uh, OK. Fine. Ummā€¦You call yourself a **Giraffe**? Hah! Youā€™re more like a belly-dragging, no-necked **Badger**! How was that? ---
**Author:** ![SkipMagic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skipmagic/32/20706_2.png) [@SkipMagic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkipMagic)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/23 "2005-05-27T21:48:47Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > This is the worst pitting ever. I wonder if I can delete it before the other mods see it and make fun of meā€¦ Look whoā€™s twee now, buddy! ---
**Author:** ![askeptic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/eb9ed0/32.png) [@askeptic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/askeptic)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/24 "2005-05-27T21:53:53Z")
> [@SkipMagic](#): > > Look whoā€™s twee now, buddy! What ever happened to that guy anyway? ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/25 "2005-05-27T23:00:45Z")
**Giraffe** is a mod, of course, of course, And no one can mod like our oversize horse Pit rules? Of course! Watch him enforce Them swiftly ā€“ Trolls beware! A jerk on your back? Hit ā€œBad Postā€ ā€“ ACK! **Giraffe** will attack with a lethal smack His tongue donā€™t lack The length to whack With wit and savoir-faire. šŸ˜ƒ ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/26 "2005-05-27T23:45:31Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > ā€¦You call yourself a **Giraffe**? Hah! Youā€™re more like a belly-dragging, no-necked **Badger**! ā€¦ Badgers! Badgers! We donā€™t need no _steeeenking_ badgers! ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2005, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/27 "2005-05-27T23:45:46Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > This is the worst pitting ever. I wonder if I can delete it before the other mods see it and make fun of meā€¦ _snerk_ ::rolls off chair, wailing with laughter:: Hey, mods, take a look at this one! The new guy got Pittedā€¦and now theyā€™re _singing to him!_ Veb ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/28 "2005-05-28T01:13:12Z")
Donā€™t may him any attention, **Raffey** , just jealous 'cause your so _special_. That, and the prehensile tongue. ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/29 "2005-05-28T01:14:06Z")
Poor Giraffe. Heā€™s such a lousy mod that the pit thread dedicated to him is entirely compliementary and song filled. No references to jack boots or thuggery. Poor poor bastard. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/30 "2005-05-28T01:20:44Z")
Hey, **Giraffe** does too have boots! Four of them! One for each leg! I donā€™t know if Iā€™d call them jackboots exactly, though. Maybe more like [jillboots?](http://giraffe.geek.nz/images/giraffes/giraffe.geek.nz-9.jpg) ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/31 "2005-05-28T01:24:40Z")
An experiment in recombinant DNA gone terribly, terribly wrongā€¦ ---
**Author:** ![Harborwolf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Harborwolf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harborwolf)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/32 "2005-05-28T01:25:46Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Hey, **Giraffe** does too have boots! Four of them! One for each leg! > > I donā€™t know if Iā€™d call them jackboots exactly, though. Maybe more like [jillboots?](http://giraffe.geek.nz/images/giraffes/giraffe.geek.nz-9.jpg) Now Giraffe is being compared to a muppet booted stuffed toy. Poor, poor, poor bastard. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/33 "2005-05-28T01:31:44Z")
Now, we really shouldnā€™t make fun of our new mod, donā€™t want to discourage him. Especially when heā€™s [so cool.](http://giraffe.geek.nz/?giraffe=11) I mean, what with his [fabulous taste in music](http://giraffe.geek.nz/?giraffe=12), a [bitchinā€™ set of wheels](http://giraffe.geek.nz/?giraffe=14) to drive the chicks wild, not to mention his [sensitive side](http://giraffe.geek.nz/?giraffe=15) ā€“ heck, Iā€™d [go for a drink with him](http://giraffe.geek.nz/?giraffe=20) any day! Now, Iā€™m not saying **Giraffe** doesnā€™t have any flaws, oh, no ā€“ heā€™s been known to have quite the [eye for a luscious lady](http://giraffe.geek.nz/?giraffe=31), for example. But heā€™s really [quite studious](http://giraffe.geek.nz/?giraffe=30), has an [inquisitive mind](http://giraffe.geek.nz/?giraffe=28), and [is very clean.](http://giraffe.geek.nz/?giraffe=25) ---
**Author:** ![Squink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5e925/32.png) [@Squink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squink)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 2:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/34 "2005-05-28T02:04:27Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Now, we really shouldnā€™t make fun of our new modā€¦ I donā€™t see him as the jackboot type anyway; more a rainslick and galoshes kind of mod, with a little Gendarme cap between the prongs. Probably use a whistle too, if his tongue didnā€™t keep getting caught in it. ---
**Author:** ![inkleberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f17d59/32.png) [@inkleberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/inkleberry)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 4:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/35 "2005-05-28T04:33:03Z")
> [@Bippy the Beardless](#): > > I clean my pits with **Giraffe[sup]TM[/SUP]** 9 out of 10 goats said their owners preffered it. Giraffes can and do clean their ears with their tongue. Thereā€™s your trivia for the day. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 4:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/36 "2005-05-28T04:34:11Z")
> [@inkleberry](#): > > Giraffes can and do clean their ears with their tongue. Thereā€™s your trivia for the day. Hear that, ladies?? \*:: waggles eyebrows suggestively :: \* ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 4:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/37 "2005-05-28T04:46:06Z")
Lick your eyebrows suggestively. Works for me. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 5:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/38 "2005-05-28T05:05:54Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Lick your eyebrows suggestively. Works for me. Canā€™t. Too busy getting the wax out my ears. Hear that, ladies?? ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/39 "2005-05-28T05:22:32Z")
All I can think of is a giraffe, done up like Gene Simmons, doing Simmonsā€™ signature air-cunnilingus thing. ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/40 "2005-05-28T05:50:20Z")
Meh, I dunno ā€“ you really think [this is hot?](http://www.riverbend2000.com/images/rvrart/GiraffeHeadTongue200.JPG) Although there are those who claim that [A giraffeā€™s tongue feels like nothing youā€™ve ever touched before.](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.wildlifeworld.com/images/giraffe-feeding-cu.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.wildlifeworld.com/giraffefeeding.htm&h=225&w=300&sz=21&tbnid=K3HpJy3EUD0J:&tbnh=83&tbnw=111&hl=en&start=3&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgiraffe%2Btongue%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26c2coff%3D1%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN) I mean, [think about it.](http://www.thebigzoo.com/animals/zoom/Giraffa_camelopardalis_reticulata_006.asp) Sometimes you can have [too much of a good thing.](http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://fusionanomaly.net/giraffetongue.jpg&imgrefurl=http://fusionanomaly.net/tongues.html&h=273&w=269&sz=14&tbnid=DvsFMIQRexUJ:&tbnh=108&tbnw=106&hl=en&start=1&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dgiraffe%2Btongue%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26c2coff%3D1%26client%3Dfirefox-a%26rls%3Dorg.mozilla:en-US:official%26sa%3DN) There, now, **Giraffe** ā€“ I was mean to you. Does that redeem your Pitting? šŸ˜› [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781.md?page=3)