# Giraffe, Best. Pit. Cleaner. Ever. **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [May 27, 2005, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781 "2005-05-27T17:17:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 6:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/41 "2005-05-28T06:49:25Z")
> [@Loopydude](#): > > All I can think of is a giraffe, done up like Gene Simmons, doing Simmons’ signature air-cunnilingus thing. Wasn’t there once an airline called Air Lingus? You don’t think…? ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/42 "2005-05-28T13:05:59Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Hey, **Giraffe** does too have boots! Four of them! One for each leg! > > I don’t know if I’d call them jackboots exactly, though. Maybe more like [jillboots?](http://giraffe.geek.nz/images/giraffes/giraffe.geek.nz-9.jpg) Giraffes have an infinite nuber of legs. And they are all the same color, too. \*Lemma 1: All giraffes are the same colour. Proof by induction: It is obvious that one giraffe is the same colour. Let us assume the proposition P(k) that k giraffes are the same colour and use this to imply that k+1 giraffes are the same colour. Given the set of k+1 giraffes, we remove one giraffe; then the remaining k giraffes are the same colour, by hypothesis. We remove another giraffe and replace the first; the k giraffes, by hypothesis, are again the same colour. We repeat this until by exhaustion the k+1 sets of k giraffes have been shown to be the same colour. It follows that since every giraffe is the same colour as every other giraffe, P(k) entails P(k+1). But since we have shown P(1) to be true, P is true for all succeeding values of k, that is, all giraffes are the same colour. Q.E.D. Theorem 1: Every giraffe has an infinite number of legs. Proof by intimidation: Giraffes have an even number of legs. Behind they have two legs and in front they have fore legs. This makes six legs, which is certainly an odd number of legs for a giraffe. But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity. Therefore giraffes have an infinite number of legs. Now to show that this is general, suppose that somewhere there is a giraffe with a finite number of legs. But that is a giraffe of another colour, and by the lemma that does not exist. Q.E.D.\* [From here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6194405&postcount=178) ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/43 "2005-05-28T13:06:23Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Hey, **Giraffe** does too have boots! Four of them! One for each leg! > > I don’t know if I’d call them jackboots exactly, though. Maybe more like [jillboots?](http://giraffe.geek.nz/images/giraffes/giraffe.geek.nz-9.jpg) Giraffes have an infinite number of legs. And they are all the same color, too. \*Lemma 1: All giraffes are the same colour. Proof by induction: It is obvious that one giraffe is the same colour. Let us assume the proposition P(k) that k giraffes are the same colour and use this to imply that k+1 giraffes are the same colour. Given the set of k+1 giraffes, we remove one giraffe; then the remaining k giraffes are the same colour, by hypothesis. We remove another giraffe and replace the first; the k giraffes, by hypothesis, are again the same colour. We repeat this until by exhaustion the k+1 sets of k giraffes have been shown to be the same colour. It follows that since every giraffe is the same colour as every other giraffe, P(k) entails P(k+1). But since we have shown P(1) to be true, P is true for all succeeding values of k, that is, all giraffes are the same colour. Q.E.D. Theorem 1: Every giraffe has an infinite number of legs. Proof by intimidation: Giraffes have an even number of legs. Behind they have two legs and in front they have fore legs. This makes six legs, which is certainly an odd number of legs for a giraffe. But the only number that is both odd and even is infinity. Therefore giraffes have an infinite number of legs. Now to show that this is general, suppose that somewhere there is a giraffe with a finite number of legs. But that is a giraffe of another colour, and by the lemma that does not exist. Q.E.D.\* [From here.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=6194405&postcount=178) ---
**Author:** ![EddyTeddyFreddy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eddyteddyfreddy/32/18796_2.png) [@EddyTeddyFreddy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/EddyTeddyFreddy)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/44 "2005-05-28T13:24:16Z")
Okay! Okay! I got it the first time, already! 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/45 "2005-05-28T13:52:17Z")
> [@EddyTeddyFreddy](#): > > Okay! Okay! I got it the first time, already! > > 😛 It’s obvious that the hamsters, being both deadly afraid of the infinity enhanced giraffes and delighted by my company, decided to double up for emphasis. The word goes 'round! Beware the hooves of doom! ---
**Author:** ![Loopydude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e56c9b/32.png) [@Loopydude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loopydude)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/46 "2005-05-28T15:24:55Z")
> [@elucidator](#): > > Wasn’t there once an airline called Air Lingus? You don’t think…? You bet I do. ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2005, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/47 "2005-05-28T19:33:16Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > It’s obvious that the hamsters, being both deadly afraid of the infinity enhanced giraffes and delighted by my company, decided to double up for emphasis. The word goes 'round! Beware the hooves of doom! But I enjoyed the “nuber” version much more. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Contrapuntal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e274bd/32.png) [@Contrapuntal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Contrapuntal)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2005, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/48 "2005-05-29T13:59:34Z")
> [@harmless](#): > > But I enjoyed the “nuber” version much more. 😛 Good catch! ---
**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2005, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/49 "2005-05-30T21:49:55Z")
> [@Contrapuntal](#): > > It’s obvious that the hamsters, being both deadly afraid of the infinity enhanced giraffes and delighted by my company, decided to double up for emphasis. The word goes 'round! Beware the hooves of doom! First hamsters then giraffes…this is my kind of place. ---
**Author:** ![LilyoftheValley](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/54ee81/32.png) [@LilyoftheValley](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LilyoftheValley)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/50 "2005-05-31T01:40:29Z")
Every time I see this damn thread title, I get this song stuck in my head: _Giraffe brand pit cleaner Specially selected pit cleaner The best pit cleaner in the world is Specially selected Giraffe brand!_ And it’s driving me insane! ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2005, 1:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/51 "2005-05-31T13:33:44Z")
It would probably behoove us to keep in mind that a giraffe’s butt is about 10 feet up in the air. So if we get on **Giraffe’s** shit list, it’s gonna be raining down on us at a pretty good velocity. I’m just sayin’… ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 1:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/52 "2005-06-01T13:49:33Z")
Threadspotting, hee hee! ---
**Author:** ![harmless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/2acd7d/32.png) [@harmless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmless)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2005, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781/53 "2005-06-01T16:51:30Z")
> [@furryman](#): > > First hamsters then giraffes…this is my kind of place. Like a nice variety there, **furryman**? You kinky monkey, you. 😛 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giraffe-best-pit-cleaner-ever/305781.md?page=2)