# Girl you can never have **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 4, 2013, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973 "2013-09-04T05:50:43Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/61 "2013-10-23T13:56:44Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > No shit. This passive aggressive aggressive crap will get him nothing more than orbiter status on another semi-good looking babe and at best bossed around in a real relationship some day with a fatty. Wow, I’ve been away from the website a long time if this sort of shit is now acceptable to say. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 1:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/62 "2013-10-23T13:59:26Z")
> [@Francesca](#): > > Wow, I’ve been away from the website a long time if this sort of shit is now acceptable to say. Why wouldn’t it be? ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/63 "2013-10-23T14:50:15Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > Why wouldn’t it be? To me, it’s a depressingly common form of disrespect to women- reducing them to the level of objects in which their only value is their appearance. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 3:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/64 "2013-10-23T15:07:50Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > To me, it’s a depressingly common form of disrespect to women- reducing them to the level of objects in which their only value is their appearance. Appearance isn’t women’s only value, but it is mostly what guys, if they are being honest, care about. They generally settle for less attractive women only because they have to. I’m not saying it’s right, just reality. ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/65 "2013-10-23T15:09:03Z")
Oh I see. You’re just an arse. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/66 "2013-10-23T15:33:43Z")
> [@Francesca](#): > > Oh I see. You’re just an arse. Just being honest. You think I’m wrong? The OP noted the girl he is living with is good looking, you think he is attracted to the depth of her soul or something? FWIW women’s rating system of men is just about as shallow. Though not particularly scientific I think this is a pretty good pie graph for both sexes: [http://www.laddertheory.com/foundations.htm](http://www.laddertheory.com/foundations.htm) ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/67 "2013-10-23T15:45:49Z")
You two actually sound perfect for each other. What you need to do, is to threaten to move out, unless she’s starts banging you. This way she gets to cheat on dude with preggo girlfriend, which should be a plus for her, and you get to hate bang your crush. Everyone wins!!! ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/68 "2013-10-23T16:09:10Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > Appearance isn’t women’s only value, but it is mostly what guys, if they are being honest, care about. They generally settle for less attractive women only because they have to. I’m not saying it’s right, just reality. Maybe young/immature guys, like me 10 years ago… but it only took one bad relationship for me to learn how unimportant looks really are. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/69 "2013-10-23T16:14:40Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > Just being honest. You think I’m wrong? The OP noted the girl he is living with is good looking, you think he is attracted to the depth of her soul or something? > > FWIW women’s rating system of men is just about as shallow. Though not particularly scientific I think this is a pretty good pie graph for both sexes: > > [http://www.laddertheory.com/foundations.htm](http://www.laddertheory.com/foundations.htm) This link is filled with misogyny. It makes me feel sad because when I was in college and experiencing bouts of romantic loneliness I had a lot of the same feelings, as I imagine many young guys do. Most get past it, hopefully. I did, and I’m much happier for it. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/70 "2013-10-23T16:15:54Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Maybe young/immature guys, like me 10 years ago… but it only took one bad relationship for me to learn how unimportant looks really are. I’ll modify this to say that obviously relationships will not be successful without some element of physical attraction and chemistry on both sides- but most mature adults realize that looks are just a small factor in this. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/71 "2013-10-23T16:19:15Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Maybe young/immature guys, like me 10 years ago… but it only took one bad relationship for me to learn how unimportant looks really are. That’s just what someone who has “settled” says. But it does illustrate a problem in america where so many women are obese. Sometimes you have to accept some bitchiness to get an attractive one, where in say France, where pretty much everyone is fit, there is a lot more variety in personality. Still there are plenty of attractive girls with good personalities too, provided you aren’t forced by circumstances to settle. In my experience the better looking ones often have better personalities anyway. If I’m not mistaken higher intelligence at least is associated with attractiveness and inversely associated with obesity. Which IMO is totally unfair. I blame God. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/72 "2013-10-23T16:21:53Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I’ll modify this to say that obviously relationships will not be successful without some element of physical attraction and chemistry on both sides- but most mature adults realize that looks are just a small factor in this. Small factor? For men? Oh come on. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/73 "2013-10-23T16:23:34Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > That’s just what someone who has “settled” says. But it does illustrate a problem in america where so many women are obese. Sometimes you have to accept some bitchiness to get an attractive one, where in say France, where pretty much everyone is fit, there is a lot more variety in personality. Still there are plenty of attractive girls with good personalities too, provided you aren’t forced by circumstances to settle. In my experience the better looking ones often have better personalities anyway. If I’m not mistaken higher intelligence at least is associated with attractiveness and inversely associated with obesity. Which IMO is totally unfair. I blame God. Wow, there is so much fail here… including a personal attack on my wife (who is super-beautiful and amazing in every way). Virtually every sentence contains a falsehood. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/74 "2013-10-23T16:30:42Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > This link is filled with misogyny. It admits how shallow men are too, and it’s pretty funny. Most women I have showe it to laugh and admit it’s true. > [@](#): > > It makes me feel sad because when I was in college and experiencing bouts of romantic loneliness I had a lot of the same feelings, as I imagine many young guys do. Most get past it, hopefully. I did, and I’m much happier for it. In my case I just learned the reality, modified my behavior based on that knowledge and had an easier time attracting better looking women, even as I got older. I’m much happier for it too. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/75 "2013-10-23T16:32:12Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > In my case I just learned the reality, modified my behavior based on that knowledge and had an easier time attracting better looking women, even as I got older. I’m much happier for it too. I hope you treat women with a lot more kindness and respect than you show on this board. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/76 "2013-10-23T16:34:57Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Wow, there is so much fail here… including a personal attack on my wife (who is super-beautiful and amazing in every way). Virtually every sentence contains a falsehood. Great, but it seems you are changing your story a bit. So you went from a bad relationship with an attractive woman to a good relationship with an “super-beautiful” woman? Good for you. You are attracted to “super-beautiful” women, which proves my initial point. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/77 "2013-10-23T16:36:42Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I hope you treat women with a lot more kindness and respect than you show on this board. I don’t think I have said anything that is unkind or disrespectful. I’m just saying the truth that most people are too PC to say. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/78 "2013-10-23T16:41:51Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > Great, but it seems you are changing your story a bit. So you went from a bad relationship with an attractive woman to a good relationship with an “super-beautiful” woman? Good for you. You are attracted to “super-beautiful” women, which proves my initial point. I never changed my “story” (which was pretty much just a single sentence). That bad relationship was years before I met my wife. I have been in relationships with women were considered beautiful and women who were not considered beautiful, and their physical appearance had pretty much zero correlation with how happy the relationship was (and how happy I was). ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/79 "2013-10-23T16:43:06Z")
> [@Kable](#): > > I don’t think I have said anything that is unkind or disrespectful. I’m just saying the truth that most people are too PC to say. Using the term “fatty” is not exactly a brave truth. ---
**Author:** ![Kable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ed655f/32.png) [@Kable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kable)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2013, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973/80 "2013-10-23T16:48:48Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I never changed my “story” (which was pretty much just a single sentence). That bad relationship was years before I met my wife. I have been in relationships with women were considered beautiful and women who were not considered beautiful, and their physical appearance had pretty much zero correlation with how happy the relationship was (and how happy I was). If only I believed you. Anyway it seems you married a pretty one, or at least say that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girl-you-can-never-have/667973.md?page=5)