# Girlfriend taken off of life support **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [June 26, 2018, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768 "2018-06-26T13:42:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Siam\_Sam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d78d45/32.png) [@Siam\_Sam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siam_Sam)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/21 "2018-06-27T05:03:50Z")
My condolences too. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![running\_coach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/running_coach/32/15836_2.png) [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/22 "2018-06-27T12:38:18Z")
I’m so sorry to hear this news. Take care. ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 12:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/23 "2018-06-27T12:47:24Z")
So sorry for your loss. My most sincere condolences. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/24 "2018-06-27T13:00:10Z")
Looking back over the past two weeks it is all starting to make sense now. We were not getting the care I was expecting because they had given up on her the first day and wanted to not DNR. I kept thinking some specialist would come in and examine the case, then I started thinking I was just missing the Dr’s on my visits. It hadn’t even occurred to me that they had given up. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/25 "2018-06-27T13:09:17Z")
Condolences and best wishes to you and loved ones. ---
**Author:** ![Sparky812](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eb9ed0/32.png) [@Sparky812](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparky812)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/26 "2018-06-27T13:26:38Z")
Sorry to hear this news. My condolences to you and her loved ones. ---
**Author:** ![Tired\_and\_Cranky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@Tired\_and\_Cranky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tired_and_Cranky)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/27 "2018-06-27T14:30:50Z")
I’m very sorry for your heartbreaking loss. Please take care of yourself. ---
**Author:** ![Darren\_Garrison](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/darren_garrison/32/92_2.png) [@Darren\_Garrison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Darren_Garrison)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/28 "2018-06-27T14:53:12Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Looking back over the past two weeks it is all starting to make sense now. We were not getting the care I was expecting because they had given up on her the first day and wanted to not DNR. I kept thinking some specialist would come in and examine the case, then I started thinking I was just missing the Dr’s on my visits. It hadn’t even occurred to me that they had given up. Patients and their families look for hope where they may be none. Doctors have the perspective and experience to know when a case is hopeless and going to extraordinary efforts would be dragging out everyone’s suffering for just slightly longer. Remember, specialists or not, they’ve probably seen cases play out like that a hundred times before. (You mentioned COPD, but the needing lasix and swelling like a water balloon sure sounds like the congestive heart failure that my mother died from.) ---
**Author:** ![Sunny\_Daze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunny_daze/32/438_2.png) [@Sunny\_Daze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunny_Daze)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/29 "2018-06-27T16:49:59Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > Looking back over the past two weeks it is all starting to make sense now. We were not getting the care I was expecting because they had given up on her the first day and wanted to not DNR. I kept thinking some specialist would come in and examine the case, then I started thinking I was just missing the Dr’s on my visits. It hadn’t even occurred to me that they had given up. From what you posted earlier, I don’t think they had given up. They tried a variety of things, and numerous times to get her off of the ventilator and breathing on her own. Unfortunately, she just wasn’t able to manage. My condolences on your loss. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/30 "2018-06-27T17:07:10Z")
I’m so very sorry for your loss. I just don’t have the words. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/31 "2018-06-27T17:39:05Z")
> [@Sunny\_Daze](#): > > From what you posted earlier, I don’t think they had given up. They tried a variety of things, and numerous times to get her off of the ventilator and breathing on her own. Unfortunately, she just wasn’t able to manage. > > My condolences on your loss. They only took her off the ventilator once at the final stage. She managed at sustainable levels close to 90% on her own until they started cutting off the lasix, which is part of the final process. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 27, 2018, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/32 "2018-06-27T17:40:32Z")
> [@Darren\_Garrison](#): > > Patients and their families look for hope where they may be none. Doctors have the perspective and experience to know when a case is hopeless and going to extraordinary efforts would be dragging out everyone’s suffering for just slightly longer. Remember, specialists or not, they’ve probably seen cases play out like that a hundred times before. (You mentioned COPD, but the needing lasix and swelling like a water balloon sure sounds like the congestive heart failure that my mother died from.) She had no problems retaining water until they started pumping in the IV’s, maybe she just wasn’t able to get rid of it fast enough on her own. ---
**Author:** ![River\_Hippie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/river_hippie/32/26_2.png) [@River\_Hippie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/River_Hippie)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2018, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/33 "2018-06-28T00:55:58Z")
Sorry for your situation, best wishes. ---
**Author:** ![elfkin477](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a9a28c/32.png) [@elfkin477](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elfkin477)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2018, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/34 "2018-06-28T01:45:56Z")
> [@HoneyBadgerDC](#): > > She had no problems retaining water until they started pumping in the IV’s, maybe she just wasn’t able to get rid of it fast enough on her own. I’m so sorry for your loss, HoneyBadger. There _does_ seem to be a connection between COPD and kidney disease. My dad has both, and his kidneys have worsened significantly along with his lungs, and I know he’s on diuretics now. One study I just skimmed suggests that nearly half of people with COPD have renal failure too. ---
**Author:** ![HoneyBadgerDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honeybadgerdc/32/1033_2.png) [@HoneyBadgerDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HoneyBadgerDC)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2018, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/35 "2018-06-28T03:05:59Z")
I have a better perspective now that it is over at the time I was trying to fight for her and I was desperate. I plan to just let it go but I do feel some mistakes were made using what is normally standard protocol. She was alcoholic and drinking about 3 six packs a day. her kidney, liver and heart all tested good throughout the ordeal. She was given large amounts of fluid and no longer on beer. I suspect that her body had grown accustomed to a diuretic effect of beer. I don’t know for sure. I do know they were pushing fluids to combat dehydration and I doubt she was dehydrated. IAt this point its over and I am moving on but I do appreciate all the support here, just very frustrating watching someone die when in your own mind they really aren’t that sick. ---
**Author:** ![Periwinkle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Periwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Periwinkle)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2018, 3:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/36 "2018-06-28T03:26:34Z")
I am so sorry for your loss, your obvious caring and support must have have meant a tremendous amount to her, and I would think to her family as well. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2018, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/37 "2018-06-28T03:59:59Z")
(Hope I’m not thread-shitting here) DNR means “do not resuscitate.” This only means that this person is not to be given CPR should their heart stop with no reasonable chance of full recovery. It DOES NOT mean “do not treat”. ---
**Author:** ![nelliebly](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nelliebly/32/5422_2.png) [@nelliebly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nelliebly)\ **Post date:** [June 28, 2018, 4:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/38 "2018-06-28T04:41:03Z")
I’ve read your posts on her medical situation and have been wondering how you and she were doing. I’m so sorry you lost her. You were a tireless advocate for her, and I hope that you get the answers that will bring you peace about her medical treatment. ---
**Author:** ![rbroome](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/838e76/32.png) [@rbroome](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rbroome)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2018, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/39 "2018-06-29T00:28:07Z")
> [@nearwildheaven](#): > > (Hope I’m not thread-shitting here) > > DNR means “do not resuscitate.” This only means that this person is not to be given CPR should their heart stop with no reasonable chance of full recovery. It DOES NOT mean “do not treat”. That is a very limited description of a DNR. They can be written to decline almost any treatment if that is what the patient wants and is aware of the consequences. They can certainly be written to cover only CPR, but they can be written more comprehensively. ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [June 29, 2018, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768/40 "2018-06-29T01:01:43Z")
I’m sorry DC [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girlfriend-taken-off-of-life-support/816768.md?page=3)