# Girls are like apples on trees. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [February 14, 2012, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778 "2012-02-14T01:40:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 6:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/61 "2012-02-14T18:31:04Z")
> [@Ulfreida](#): > > Also, I don’t allow anyone to climb my girl trees. They break the branches. They must use ladders. [Cherry-picker](http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_fhWTQzhgMZo/TA-vTl79cDI/AAAAAAAAAAk/BoeNO9MGvw0/s1600/Cherry_picker_starts_up.jpg) 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 6:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/62 "2012-02-14T18:40:44Z")
> [@Yllaria](#): > > Ouch. Two minutes in the bad joke box. I like to think outside the box. When you’re inside the box, you don’t have to think. ---
**Author:** ![Ellen\_Cherry](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ellen_cherry/32/3600_2.png) [@Ellen\_Cherry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ellen_Cherry)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/63 "2012-02-14T21:06:27Z")
> [@Hypno-Toad](#): > > They’re both the pits. ::shakes fist:: Hey, you! 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Makeitstop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/bb73d2/32.png) [@Makeitstop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Makeitstop)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/64 "2012-02-14T21:25:56Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > The good apples fall from the top of the tree when they are ready, and if you are in the right place at the right time you can catch them 🙂 So the apples need to make sure they only fall when there’s someone down there who will catch them. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 10:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/65 "2012-02-14T22:20:01Z")
Serious question: Are apples at the top of the tree actually better? How much better? And can’t I just cut the tree down and take all the apples? No so serious response If you have a story with an apple tree, traditionally the woman picks. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/66 "2012-02-14T22:25:17Z")
> [@Ludovic](#): > > I like to think outside the box. When you’re inside the box, you don’t have to think. When you’re inside the box, you’re too busy to think. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [February 14, 2012, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/67 "2012-02-14T22:31:48Z")
I have two apple trees in the back yard. And a wife in the house. I’m not sure what that means. If it helps, all our apples are small, wormy, and don’t taste very good, so we don’t bother picking any of them. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 2:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/68 "2012-02-15T14:27:00Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > I prefer oranges. Well, orange you special! ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [February 15, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/69 "2012-02-15T15:32:50Z")
> [@Ellen\_Cherry](#): > > ::shakes fist:: Hey, you! 🆒 Hey, take it to The Pit. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/70 "2012-02-16T16:54:24Z")
In my experience, the top tier women, if that is your parallel to the top of the tree apples, haven’t got the email that they are supposed to think that there is anything wrong with themselves. ---
**Author:** ![Astroboy14](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/df705f/32.png) [@Astroboy14](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Astroboy14)\ **Post date:** [February 16, 2012, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/71 "2012-02-16T21:13:13Z")
To quote a comedian I saw on TV: “Women are like square roots: if they’re under 13, just do 'em in your head!” ---
**Author:** ![Askance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/askance/32/8281_2.png) [@Askance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Askance)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/72 "2012-02-17T03:12:47Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > I’ll keep all this in mind for the next time I run across a tree full of girls. They’re not stalked any more? ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/73 "2012-02-17T04:14:25Z")
> [@voidray](#): > > **They** just have to wait for the right boy to come along, **the one** who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree." See, this was Joseph Smith’s argument, that there is one man who is right for many women. Who will think of all those poor girls at the very top of the tree, sitting out there in the cold rain, waiting for the one and only boy to come up to them. Some one who has no idea if they are in fact better than the others in the bottom or middle of the tree, but we digress from the point. There’s so many girls up there and only one guy, so hundreds will remain unpeared to their pathetic deaths, half eaten by crows and robins and rotten now to the core, simply because they unquestioningly followed random glurge forwarded by unthinking robots whose blindly swallowed notion of morality is regurgitated from the mindless rantings of misogynistic celibate men centuries ago. Girls, come down! It’s not too late! ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/74 "2012-02-17T04:37:33Z")
> [@TokyoPlayer](#): > > … hundreds will remain unpeared to their pathetic deaths … Freudian slip? ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [February 17, 2012, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/75 "2012-02-17T06:31:20Z")
> [@shijinn](#): > > Freudian slip? Intentional, but bad pun. ---
**Author:** ![albatross83](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b4bc9f/32.png) [@albatross83](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/albatross83)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 9:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/76 "2013-01-13T09:11:59Z")
Girls are like apples at the supermarket. The best ones are usually gone by the time you get there, so you can either settle for the dented ones or wait for the next batch to arrive. > [@](#): > > So if a girl is trying to get you to eat her seed, she probably has some sort of ulterior motive. If a girl is trying to get you to eat her seed, she’s not a girl. ---
**Author:** ![WhyNot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c77e96/32.png) [@WhyNot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WhyNot)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/77 "2013-01-13T12:20:54Z")
> [@buddha\_david](#): > > Personally, I prefer oranges. Personally, I prefer _women_. (Dude…“girls”? That right there should have been your first clue that this wasn’t written by real feminist friendly folk.) WhyNot, Apple Tart ---
**Author:** ![don\_t\_ask](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@don\_t\_ask](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/don_t_ask)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/78 "2013-01-13T13:09:20Z")
Apples aren’t exactly like girls. If a cop pulls you over and you have an apple in the trunk, no problems but… ---
**Author:** ![crowmanyclouds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crowmanyclouds/32/19884_2.png) [@crowmanyclouds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crowmanyclouds)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/79 "2013-01-13T14:39:28Z")
> [@ataraxy22](#): > > Also, the green ones are often kind of tart and the red ones are delicious. Things we learned watching Star Trek? CMC ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2013, 3:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778/80 "2013-01-13T15:24:05Z")
> [@voidray](#): > > So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when inreality, they’re amazing. They just have to wait for the right boy to come along, the one who’s brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree." That reminds me of the theory mentioned in one of Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books; that the most attractive women end up going out with jerks because men who _aren’t_ jerks all assume she’ll consider them beneath her and don’t ask her out. Just replace “brave” with “socially oblivious or egotistical”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-are-like-apples-on-trees/612778.md?page=5)