# Girls become Poser Lesbians to attract men - Is this for real? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 11, 2002, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119 "2002-12-11T22:36:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/1 "2002-12-11T22:36:33Z")
[Lesbian Lolitas: High-School Girls Want to Be Gay-ish](http://www.observer.com/pages/frontpage7.asp) Is being a poser lebian the new thing now if you want to snag a boyfriend? > [@](#): > > “A lot of kisses are meaningless,” said Anna, who looks like a less sweet version of Katie Holmes. “But there are those few that really just fill you up and make you feel warm and happy.” > > Sophie and Anna (their names have been changed) arrived at their friend’s brownstone and joined everyone in the den, sitting down on either side of a guy Anna had a crush on. > > “We were kissing each other across him, and then we both started kissing him,” said Sophie. > > “We were being quite outward about it,” said Anna. “It was kind of obnoxious. But there’s this thing about enjoying it—and doing it for attention. And it was both.” > > After that, Anna and Sophie continued to spend all their time together—but even now that they were physically involved, they never thought of themselves as lesbians. They both knew that their romance would probably come to an end if either one of them met a guy she wanted to date. > > While many New York girls may act like lesbians to both mock and attract young men, there is a definite group of young women who are finding something in a sexualized female bond that they don’t get from the attentions of the average high-school boy. While “L.U.G.’s” (lesbians until graduation) became a term of derision in the 1990’s—applied to college women who slept with women on campus but would immediately link up with socially appropriate males once they left college—the trend seems to have worked its way into a younger crowd. (At least among girls. Boys interested in publicly experimenting with other boys would find themselves in a far less “glamorous” subgroup.) ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/2 "2002-12-11T22:49:03Z")
Well… speaking from experience it can get you more attention with the guys. Some think girl on girl is sexy, others think that once the female they are going after is with a real guy she’ll change her mind. I don’t do anything deliberately for attention… if I’m kissing someone it’s generally because I like them. One time I remember, I was at a bar hanging out with my roomie and some of our other friends and I ended up kissing this one girl (she’s hot what could I say?) and another guy in the group came up and said he could do better than that and proceeded to make out with me after. Heh… also made my roomie jealous because _I_ was kissing the girl he was eyeing. ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/3 "2002-12-11T23:27:16Z")
Not just to get boyfirends; girls also do it to generally draw attention to themselves/make friends. I’ve seen several examples of this in my community; a friend of mine had a girlfriend who broke up with him because it was more ‘popular’ to be lesbian in her high school. My best friend’s little sister became bisexual to get attention, and several girls in my high school exhibited this behavior. I wonder if this works the other way around (guys acting gay to attract girls)…Probably where I live, since lately many of my peers make negative connotations/associations with heterosexual relationships. ---
**Author:** ![andygirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a9adbd/32.png) [@andygirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/andygirl)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 1:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/4 "2002-12-12T01:42:35Z")
Well, I’m officially appalled. ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 1:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/5 "2002-12-12T01:51:47Z")
For my birthday three years ago, several girls french kissed me ‘as a gift to the boys’. And I know two girls off the top of my head who make out in front of guys for ‘shock value’, and also, I got $30 from an Philly Eagles fan to kiss my friend Amy with tongue. I assure you that madness is all in my past. No offense andy, but boys are better kissers. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 2:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/6 "2002-12-12T02:00:14Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jarbabyj \* > \*\* > No offense andy, but boys are better kissers. 😃 \*\* Yes, but girls are **far** better kissee’s. _nods head in affirmation_ ---
**Author:** ![Pantone\_Swatchbook](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/cc9497/32.png) [@Pantone\_Swatchbook](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pantone_Swatchbook)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/7 "2002-12-12T02:01:27Z")
I clicked on the link hoping for some relevant photographic aids to help me understand the author better. I am sorely disappointed. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 5:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/8 "2002-12-12T05:23:38Z")
IME the girls are on par with the boys… heh… And I agree with andygirl about it being appalling that girls do it deliberately to get attention. I have done it through curiousity and honest attraction… the attention just seems to come from it. ---
**Author:** ![Keith\_Berry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@Keith\_Berry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keith_Berry)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/9 "2002-12-12T06:56:19Z")
I got slammed on a thread awhile back for suggesting that a lot of so-called “bisexual” girls were just really following a Pogo-stick fad. Particulary in the bars and clubs, you see a lot of girls playing this way merely to get attention…an acqaintance of mine does it on a pretty regular basis, usually when she’s had a few. When I asked her if she was really trying to get it on with girls, she replied, “No, but it’s fun to do in public.” Fun to do in public but not in private? Hmmm. All right. ---
**Author:** ![Jervoise](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d2c977/32.png) [@Jervoise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jervoise)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 7:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/10 "2002-12-12T07:27:21Z")
This kind of thing is not entirely unheard of in my social circle. Girls kissing or grinding together on the dancefloor isn’t exactly commonplace, but it doesn’t do more than raise eyebrows. No one for a moment thinks that the participants are gay; they’re just having a bit of fun to make everyone laugh and attract some attention. I don’t see the problem with people doing acts “just to attract attention”. Attracting attention is one of the primary goals of us young 'uns in social occasions! Like overly machismo guys or girls in their revealing clothing, this is just one of those silly things we do. I also don’t see why anyone should take offense. No one’s harmed here. Lesbians or gays don’t “own” public same-sex intimacy. This kind of nonsense doesn’t in any way “devalue” the acts enjoyed by the GLB community. There’s no reason why a few drunk hetero kids can’t mack on each other for laughs. 'Tis just young people having fun. FTR, yep, been there. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/troy_mcclure_sf/32/4150_2.png) [@Troy\_McClure\_SF](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troy_McClure_SF)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 7:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/11 "2002-12-12T07:53:16Z")
Hey, some people like attention. And the immediate attention they’re gonna get is going to be very encouraging. I’ll admit, my eyes would be glued to two attractive women kissing very publicly. ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 7:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/12 "2002-12-12T07:57:19Z")
Girls kissing for any reason is a good thing…Even better if it is only a show, and I can take them home later. ---
**Author:** ![whatmove](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecc23a/32.png) [@whatmove](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whatmove)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 8:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/13 "2002-12-12T08:31:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Incubus \* > **I wonder if this works the other way around (guys acting gay to attract girls)…** Yes, yes, yes I’ve considered feining gay after seeing many a female swoon over my gay male friends. I can’t explain how frustrating it is, seeing as I’m straight and desirable and _still_ available while my gay friends could get all the girls. I’m sure it has a lot to do with gay men being romantically non-threatening to women. Women don’t often tell me that guy-on-guy _action_ is a big turn-on, but the whole gay package (so to speak) seems to draw them in. -wm ---
**Author:** ![jackelope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@jackelope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jackelope)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 8:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/14 "2002-12-12T08:45:14Z")
I am clearly hanging out in the wrong bars. ---
**Author:** ![Flutterby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/6f9a4e/32.png) [@Flutterby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Flutterby)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 8:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/15 "2002-12-12T08:49:02Z")
Narrad for me the appalling thing comes from doing this to attract someone… why do you have to act like someone you are not to attract them? Then they are probably not worth your time. If it’s just a general attention getter well I can appreciate that as the story I mentioned about the woman at the bar and I? Well the second time we made out was specifically to get my roomies attention because he was jealous 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Keith\_Berry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/22d042/32.png) [@Keith\_Berry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Keith_Berry)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 9:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/16 "2002-12-12T09:20:07Z")
I’ll admit my own hypocrisy on the issue-----I very much enjoy these displays (of course) even as I slam the participants for engaging in what is essentially a phony act. There’s nothing wrong with attracting attention, of course, especially if you’re insecure and need to be constantly reminded that people like you for whatever reason… But there’s definately more worthwhile things to complain about. And really, I wouldn’t one mind one bit if we saw more girls playing with girls in public. Gratifies my juvenile sexual needs. I don’t care to see my acquaintance do it, but I really don’t like her much anyway so that might have something to do with it. ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/17 "2002-12-12T11:00:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Keith Berry \* > \*\*…I don’t care to see my acquaintance do it, but I really don’t like her much anyway so that might have something to do with it. \*\* Maybe if she started making out with other chicks… ---
**Author:** ![Oblong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c0e974/32.png) [@Oblong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oblong)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/18 "2002-12-12T13:31:54Z")
> [@](#): > > For my birthday three years ago, several girls french kissed me ‘as a gift to the boys’. And I know two girls off the top of my head who make out in front of guys for ‘shock value’, and also, I got $30 from an Philly Eagles fan to kiss my friend Amy with tongue. Would you like another $30? Detroit’s not that far from Chi-Town. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 1:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/19 "2002-12-12T13:42:10Z")
Re: the OP: yes. It’s very popular where I’m from. I worked with a couple of girls a few years ago that lived together and girl-on-girl stuff was practically all they talked about yet they never did anything more than the occasional kiss and they had guys over almost every night. This isn’t by a longshot the only example I can think of, just the first one that popped into my head. Suffice it to say this is extremely popular. ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2002, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/20 "2002-12-12T15:14:47Z")
Works for me. [sub]Thirty bucks. I gotta have thirty bucks around here somewhere…[/sub] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119.md?page=2)