# Girls become Poser Lesbians to attract men - Is this for real? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 11, 2002, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119 "2002-12-11T22:36:33Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Count\_Trari\_de\_Reeson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9dc877/32.png) [@Count\_Trari\_de\_Reeson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Trari_de_Reeson)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/41 "2002-12-13T01:08:50Z")
Having been in the printing trade for a long time, I just wanted to say that Pantone Swatchbook is a really cool name. I guess that you know the real meaning of PMS then, don’t you? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/42 "2002-12-13T14:18:16Z")
I wish I could personally thank every woman who has ever used lesbian behavior to entertain or attract straight men. If not for you, straight men might be less inclined to hit on me. If not for you, straight men might be more inclined to believe me when I say I’m not interested. I can’t tell you how much it’s meant to me to be treated as a potential sex toy or pornographic entertainment by people I have no interest in whatsoever. So thank you ladies, from the very bottom of my heart, for helping to ensure that I need never worry that straight men will ever finally just leave me alone. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/43 "2002-12-13T14:30:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lamia \* > \*\*I wish I could personally thank every woman who has ever used lesbian behavior to entertain or attract straight men. > > If not for you, straight men might be less inclined to hit on me. > > If not for you, straight men might be more inclined to believe me when I say I’m not interested. > > I can’t tell you how much it’s meant to me to be treated as a potential sex toy or pornographic entertainment by people I have no interest in whatsoever. So thank you ladies, from the very bottom of my heart, for helping to ensure that I need never worry that straight men will ever finally just leave me alone. \*\* **Lamia** , straight men who hit on you even after you tell them you’re not interested/are a lesbian are just fuckheads. I have a feeling they’d be fuckheads whether or not certain women used the “lesbian mystique” to their advantage. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 2:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/44 "2002-12-13T14:56:30Z")
I do understand where you’re coming from, **Lamia** , but… there are bi women, you know. I think your post could too easily be interpreted as condemning them, too. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/45 "2002-12-13T15:14:10Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LaurAnge \* > \*\*I do understand where you’re coming from, **Lamia** , but… there are bi women, you know. I think your post could too easily be interpreted as condemning them, too. \*\* And I am condemning them, if they publically use homoerotic behavior to entertain or attract straight men. I’m not going to give anyone a pass for kissing a girl to get a guy just because she happened to have a little fun kissing the girl. Regardless of their sexual orientation, any woman who encourages the belief that girl + girl = hot sex for a lucky guy has encouraged a belief that makes life more difficult for lesbian and bisexual women who believe that girl + girl = hot sex for two lucky girls. And life is difficult enough for such women as it is, a fact that those who think homoerotic behavior is just another way to flirt with men don’t seem to appreciate. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/46 "2002-12-13T15:23:53Z")
I hope this doesn’t come across as attacking, because it isn’t meant to be. I just don’t think you have the authority to decide what’s acceptable sexual behaviour and what isn’t. I’m sure it does frustrate and annoy you, and not without good reason. But people have the right to choose for themselves what sexual habits they fall into. Is it also wrong and harmful to you for people to have threesomes? I’d say that encourages men even more to think about two women and them. ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/47 "2002-12-13T15:28:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lamia \* > **Regardless of their sexual orientation, any woman who encourages the belief that girl + girl = hot sex for a lucky guy has encouraged a belief that makes life more difficult for lesbian and bisexual women who believe that girl + girl = hot sex for two lucky girls.** Out of curiosity, do you have a similar objection to women who engage in three-way sex in the FFM configuration? ---
**Author:** ![cuauhtemoc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecb155/32.png) [@cuauhtemoc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cuauhtemoc)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/48 "2002-12-13T15:29:25Z")
Beaten to the punch by **LaurAnge**. _Daaaaaaamn yooooooou!!!_😃 ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/49 "2002-12-13T15:30:31Z")
**Laurange,** I think **Lamia** ’s returning to the question posed in the OP–she’s seeing a difference between girls kissing in public because they want to kiss, and straight girls kissing in public because they want to attract guys and they have no intention of following through on the girl-on-girl action. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/50 "2002-12-13T16:15:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by LaurAnge \* > \*\* > I just don’t think you have the authority to decide what’s acceptable sexual behaviour and what isn’t. \*\* Yes I do. I am an adult of normal cognitive abilities and a member of society. I make decisions about what is and is not acceptable behavior every day. What I do not have is the authority to control other people’s behavior. The day you catch me doing that, let me know. > [@](#): > > \*\* > Is it also wrong and harmful to you for people to have threesomes? I’d say that encourages men even more to think about two women and them. \*\* What people do in their bedrooms is their own damn business. It is not the subject of this thread, and I don’t care about it in the least anyway. What I do care about it are “Step right up! See the two women kiss! Which two of you lucky men will be the ones to take these hot ladies home?” sideshow acts. ---
**Author:** ![Spit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/76d3ee/32.png) [@Spit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spit)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/51 "2002-12-13T16:28:25Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Lamia \* > \*\*\*\*…What I do care about it are “Step right up! See the two women kiss! Which two of you lucky men will be the ones to take these hot ladies home?” sideshow acts. \*\* And god knows, we straight men care about them too. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/52 "2002-12-13T17:42:27Z")
The only thing this thread is really telling me is that I never really got out enough despite what I thought at the time. **Lamia** might accuse me of being biased, because I find this idea (the OP) incredibly entertaining, but really; whos damn business is it? The people doing it. That’s it. So these girls are putting on a show for guys. This is manipulation of the male labido and it works. They turn each other on, turn some guys on, and get lucky. Great big friggin’ deal. What are you worried about, **Lamia**? That this behavior might sully the respect for gays in social forums because it’s obviously not to be taken seriously? Feh. If guys are giving you trouble because of this stuff it isn’t because they expect it to be regular behavior so much as they are assholes who don’t have respect for women in general. Or both, actually, because they come as a set. ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/53 "2002-12-13T17:47:40Z")
I am not interested in debating the question of whether it is wrong for women to exploit homoerotic behavior to entertain or attract men. I only offered my opinion because **LaurAnge** seemed interested in the views of queer women on this matter. Apparently I was mistaken in believing that any opinion other than “It’s totally hot! You go, girls!” would be considered acceptable. As it appears that opinions like mine are not really wanted, I will not be discussing the matter further here. Everyone should feel free to continue discussing how hot it is when two chicks are, like, totally making out right in front of everyone. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/54 "2002-12-13T18:02:03Z")
Well, since I can’t e-mail you personally to apologize, **Lamia** , I’ll just suck up more bandwidth. I didn’t mean for that to sound like a pile-on or anything. It’s obvious you have some intense feelings on the matter and perhaps we were a little too blithe about it. I would still be interested in what precisely bothers you so much about the OP, whether social or personal, though you have no obligation to respond here or at all, if you don’t wish to. ---
**Author:** ![Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clint_in_Wichita)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/55 "2002-12-13T18:24:57Z")
2 girls kissing? That’s great, but I don’t start acting like a fool until there’s some eating going on. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/56 "2002-12-13T18:52:42Z")
I think **Lamia** ’s unhappiness about the behavior described in the OP is very understandable. It is, after all, likely to give validation to fuckheads who secretly believe that all women, gay or straight, will come around and beg for their penis if pursued vigorously enough. Which makes her life harder. However, I think the problem here lies with the fuckheads, not the people who engage in behavior that they (the fuckheads) can use to validate their fucked up worldview. I also think that the more relaxed society gets about same-sex affection, the better off things will be in the long run. Maybe gay people won’t be such a mystery to the fuckheads if the rigid delineation of who kisses whom breaks down. ---
**Author:** ![Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7993a0/32.png) [@Clint\_in\_Wichita](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clint_in_Wichita)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/57 "2002-12-13T19:02:33Z")
Being gay will never be easy. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/58 "2002-12-13T19:18:51Z")
_cough_ _cough_ [sub]case in point[/sub] _cough_ ---
**Author:** ![tiny\_ham](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@tiny\_ham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tiny_ham)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/59 "2002-12-13T19:21:50Z")
unlike most regions, the first hard frost seems to ATTRACT pests to the SDMB. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2002, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119/60 "2002-12-13T19:23:17Z")
Well that _was_ kinda my point. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-become-poser-lesbians-to-attract-men-is-this-for-real/142119.md?page=4)