# Girls, have some respect for yourselves **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [March 20, 2005, 12:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370 "2005-03-20T00:16:20Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/21 "2005-03-20T01:39:33Z")
I like boys better than money and cars. And I don’t need a boy to have those other two. ---
**Author:** ![marshmallow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/df705f/32.png) [@marshmallow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/marshmallow)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/22 "2005-03-20T01:49:38Z")
Alternatively, guys like cars and money because girls like them too. ---
**Author:** ![butter\_pie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/aca169/32.png) [@butter\_pie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/butter_pie)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/23 "2005-03-20T02:30:00Z")
I’ve known plenty of guys that watched and enjoyed those kind of music videos, and treated their actual girlfriends and friends with plenty of respect, and weren’t excessively materialistic or anything like that. As a matter of fact, I’d say those guys were a good chunk of my friends over the last few years. Hell, I like looking at nicely shaped, scantily clad ladies myself. After a point, it almost becomes a parody of itself. Those videos are fantasy, and they don’t influence people any more than playing Grand Theft Auto makes people actually go out and steal cars. Or watching movies that glorify killing makes them run out and commit murder. If someone is getting all their life lessons from MTV, there are bigger problems going on there than some hoochie mama shaking her tits in the latest Pimp G Daddy-O video. ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/24 "2005-03-20T02:37:48Z")
I like sex! And while there is more to me than hoohoos and tatas, I’m not going to pretend like I don’t have hoohoos and tatas- they are neat things and can be a lot of fun. ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/25 "2005-03-20T03:15:56Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > Using their sexuality means that is all they have that is of worth, not rains, character, anything else. This sounds like something that people tell themselves in consolation when they’re upset that they don’t look like all the people on TV. “I may not have clear skin or toned muscles, but at least I’m not a vapid soulless shell!” Please. Get back to me after you’ve met all these people personally and can make an assessment like that. ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 3:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/26 "2005-03-20T03:39:31Z")
I did not mean “they” had nothing else of worth. What I meant was it teaches that sexuality is something to be used, like a commodity. ---
**Author:** ![Driver8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5a626/32.png) [@Driver8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Driver8)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/27 "2005-03-20T03:44:49Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > I did not mean “they” had nothing else of worth. What I meant was it teaches that sexuality is something to be used, like a commodity. Is there a specific reason why it shouldn’t be? This seems to be just assumed, but I’d like to know why. Also, it’s hard not to parse your post and not come away thinking you did mean they had nothing else of worth. ---
**Author:** ![Shagnasty](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9dc877/32.png) [@Shagnasty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shagnasty)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/28 "2005-03-20T03:49:12Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > I did not mean “they” had nothing else of worth. What I meant was it teaches that sexuality is something to be used, like a commodity. While in fact, they are using it as a commodity to their own advantage. This is nothing new. Take a look at look at the [erotic art found in Pompeii](http://www.kwart.kataweb.it/kwart/eng/newsdett.jsp?idContent=144414&idCategory=1814#) and tell me those brand new A.D. women that posed for this stuff weren’t a bunch of whores. Maybe that’s why God blew the place up. ---
**Author:** ![UnwrittenNocturne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/6de8d8/32.png) [@UnwrittenNocturne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/UnwrittenNocturne)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/29 "2005-03-20T03:49:58Z")
> [@Good Egg](#): > > I did not mean “they” had nothing else of worth. What I meant was it teaches that sexuality is something to be used, like a commodity. Why shouldn’t it be? Do you not sell your intelligence as a commodity to an employer? Your skills? If you are a labourer, and able to lift heavy loads, are you not selling your body as a commodity? What is the difference? ---
**Author:** ![Good\_Egg](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/96bed5/32.png) [@Good\_Egg](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Good_Egg)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/30 "2005-03-20T03:51:03Z")
😉 > [@Driver8](#): > > Is there a specific reason why it shouldn’t be? This seems to be just assumed, but I’d like to know why. Also, it’s hard not to parse your post and not come away thinking you did mean they had nothing else of worth. Parsin well is not my strong suit. Maybe if I posed and winked, my post would’ve just been considered nice. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AwSnappity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a3d4f5/32.png) [@AwSnappity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AwSnappity)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/31 "2005-03-20T03:52:53Z")
_Using their sexuality means that is all they have that is of worth, not brains, character, anything else._ Show me where you said anything about teaching. I really don’t know how you could first say this, and they say that you meant that they didn’t have anything else of worth. Am I just having trouble reading? (It happens sometimes.) _Using their sexuality means that is all they have that is of worth. I did not mean “they” had nothing else of worth._ I’m just having a bit of a disconnect here. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 5:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/32 "2005-03-20T05:31:52Z")
I have no problem with the scantily clad wimmens. I’m down with that. But some of the dance moves…would be better served in a soft core porn flick. Man, am I getting to be a prude. ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/33 "2005-03-20T05:32:45Z")
\*\*UrbanChic: > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by Good Egg > Using their sexuality means that is all they have that is of worth, not {b}rains, character, anything else. Or it could mean they know what sells CDs and gets asses in the seats at concerts. There’s nothing wrong with good business sense.\*\* If this is just good business, why don’t we all do business this way? Why don’t I wear a g-string and pasties to my next administrative job interview? \*\* > [@](#): > > Originally Posted by featherlou > I don’t even know why I bother getting upset about this - if young and men and women want to pretend that women are nothing more than a hoohoo and tatas, then who am I to get bent out of shape about generations of women growing up with no self-respect and no self-esteem and no idea how to love themselves and their womanly bodies and defining themselves by their appearances and how men treat them? Christ, this is dumb on too many levels to count. Generations of women? I think I pulled a muscle rolling my eyes. \*\* Well, as someone pointed out, it has been going on since 1982, so that’s one generation and another on the way. I meant “generations” as projecting into the future, though, as the trend continues unabated because nobody sees anything wrong with it except me. So, those of you supporting music videos portraying women as objectified and de-humanized, you don’t see anything wrong with this? This is just the cost of doing business in the music world, that if a female musician wants to be successful she better take her clothes off, and that’s just the way it is? This is women reclaiming their sexuality and becoming sexually empowered? ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/34 "2005-03-20T05:48:11Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > This is just the cost of doing business in the music world, that if a female musician wants to be successful she better take her clothes off, and that’s just the way it is? This is women reclaiming their sexuality and becoming sexually empowered? According to some people, including some feminists, yes. I think it’s absurd and short-sighted. But generally, men aren’t going to correct them. If the end result is the hot women giving them what they want by taking their clothes off and being somebody else’s product (as is generally the case in the music biz), they’ll let them tell themselves that it’s ‘empowerment’ or ‘reclaiming’ or whatever they want; it doesn’t matter. ---
**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 6:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/35 "2005-03-20T06:05:12Z")
I can see both sides of this argument. However, as the mother of three boys, I’ve had more than one occasion when I’ve been compelled to explain to them the differences between how women are viewed in the media and how they are to be treated in real life (at least by my sons). There really is no denying that there are some inappropriate images and music out there. The truth is, girls can make tons of money by showing their bodies and dancing like they do, and there will always be pretty girls out there willing to take part in it. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/36 "2005-03-20T06:39:43Z")
In many world cultures, treating women as people is very much the exception. It isn’t a recent invetion everywhere, but it seems that most agricultural societies haven’t thought highly of women until very, very recently. Women haven’t been actual property in any Western culture within living memory (am I wrong?) but they were granted full legal rights in the US within the collective memory of our current population. ---
**Author:** ![C3](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/c3/32/3108_2.png) [@C3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C3)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/37 "2005-03-20T07:44:30Z")
Women getting naked in videos doesn’t bother me. They choose to do that…whatever. I really got riled today, though. We were watching the Ironwomen competition on tv. These are some of the most powerful, athletic, strong women in the world. The boldest of the bold. Coming back from commercial break, the station chose to play “Nasty Girl” (the one by Nitty, not Destiny’s CHhild). Unbelievable. All sorts of girls watching these women compete in a grueling sport, and we’re still reminded that they’re really just objects of sexual gratification for men. Disgusting. ---
**Author:** ![1010011010](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/ea666f/32.png) [@1010011010](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/1010011010)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 7:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/38 "2005-03-20T07:45:44Z")
So young! So angry! Damn that rap music! ---
**Author:** ![kimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f0a364/32.png) [@kimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kimera)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 8:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/39 "2005-03-20T08:13:20Z")
Do you know how fun it is to walk into a room and have millions of eyes on you? It’s power, and power is fun. I used to be like you. I never understood how those women could ‘sell themselves out.’ And then I went into a mostly male dressed sexy. Wow, it’s fun. 😃 If you are even halfway intelligent, you can have them eating out of your hand before long. They objectify me and I objectify them. It’s not something I could stand to do for a living, but try it sometime, it’s fun! ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [March 20, 2005, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370/40 "2005-03-20T09:31:53Z")
> [@featherlou](#): > > So, those of you supporting music videos portraying women as objectified and de-humanized, you don’t see anything wrong with this? No, because it’s not dehumanizing. Humans are sexual creatures. Women are sexual creatures. Our sexuality is as much a part of us as our brains or our upbringing or our ability to lift boxes at a warehouse. It is only natural that such a large part of human existance will show up in art, commerce and pop-culture. Now if we can only get some more sexy naked men on tv. Who’s with me? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-have-some-respect-for-yourselves/295370.md?page=3)