Girls should not hit boys unless they want to fight

In My Humble Opinion
21

I hit a girl once in middle school. At our school we each had half a locker and hers was the top one and mine was the lower one. I had to get on one knee to open my locker and exchange books. She would show up and open her locker banging the door against my head. The first time it happened I chalked it up to an accident but it happened several times over the semester. I was in a foul mood one morning and she hit my head again and I struck one of her legs pretty hard in return. She never hit my head again.

When I was young kid I would sometimes play with the older boys and I would invariably get hurt. If I came crying to my mother she would say “If you’re going to play with the big boys then you should expect to get hurt.” That’s pretty much my attitude towards women who hit men.
Marc

22

Beat me

23

When I was nineteen, an obnoxious fifteen-year old boy on a scooter pulled up besides me. He was big for his age. Sitting behind him was an admiring 11-year old, cheering his every move. For no reason, they started spitting at me. My: “Hey, cut that out” lead to only more spitting from the both of them. They aimed for my face, too. I got so angry I hit the fifteen-year old on his cheek, with a flat open hand. He responded with a hook that gave me a black eye for two weeks.

Ever since then, I won’t hit unless I want, and can, crush my enemy completely. So, that’s almost never. :smiley:

24

This is a vry old debate. I’ll say what I’ve always said, when attacked some people respond instictively or are trained to respond instantly. No matter what the gender, if you attack someone, then sometimes that instinct gets triggered. A woman (or a man) slapping a man risks triggering that reaction.

For those who say a woman is weak and can’t really hurt a man, well bullshit. The same force as a slap and almost the same move could quite easily also take out an eye.

25

I’m a male, I’ve never hit a woman, and can’t imagine a situation where I would.

I had a girlfriend once who was a hitter (and a psycho ex-Marine to boot). I got the hell out of there.

It really opened my eyes to how a man can indeed be battered by a woman smaller than he is: I’m 5’7" and 170 pounds, and I am physically able to wreak havoc on Mike Tyson, provided he doesn’t fight back, and I get to use a fireplace poker.

26

I’ve never been in a relationship and have very rarely been in physical confrontations either, but if I were to ever be hit by a woman, I’d most likely retaliate despite being raised not to.

It’s ridiculous to just stand there and allow anyone of any gender, age, nationality, eye color, or whatever hit you with no response. I’m not a fighter by any means (and would probably get my ass kicked by most men and women) but fuck if I’m going to encourage abusive behaviour.

27

I agree.

28

I wouldn’t promote standing there and doing nothing, but I’d say, even putting ethics aside, it’s a lot safer to leave (if that’s an option) than to fight. And I don’t see that as encouraging abusive behavior, unless the person was just hitting you to try to get you to go away.

29

Women slapping men used to be quite common in movies up until the 1970’s. Finally someone figured out that if it wasn’t right to hit a woman, then it wasn’t right to hit a man either. (And actually there are spousal abuse cases where women physically abuse men.)

Male or female, a punch doesn’t solve the real problem even if it gets you a little peace and quiet. (So would leaving the scene.)

And for crying out loud, you don’t teach your children that violence doesn’t solve anything by allowing them to slug it out. They will still be doing it at basketball games when they are 35. Teach them how to compromise, debate, listen, play fairly, look at both sides, take a break, make a joke, walk away…whatever it takes not to hit.

30

I’d agree in the case of “girl slaps guy, guy slugs girl”. That’s not right.
It’s not so clear when its “girl slaps guy. guy does nothing. girl slaps guy. guy asks her to stop. girl slaps guy. guy tells her to not do that again. girl slaps guy. guy slugs girl.” That’s just a case of escalation.

If you don’t understand Escalation Theory, you should probably not hit anyone… unless you’re going to hit them as hard as you can and you think that level of violence (I.E. trying to kill each other) is appropriate.

I can think of three occassions that girls have hit me.

I had a cousin that attacked me one day, punching me in the ribs as hard as she could. It tickled, so I began giggling and asking her what she was crazy upset about. She couldn’t remember why initially, but it was because I was laughing at her towards the end.

I had a girlfriend that punched me in the face unexpectedly while we were swimming. I paused for a moment to figure out if that had really just happened, and asked why. Apparently I’d kicked her accidentally.

I didn’t hit back, and had no desire to hit back. They were on a righteous attempt to inflict harm on me, and I was wondering what I’d done to incurr it. If either had actually succeeded in doing anything particularly painful, I don’t know how I would have responded, but I’m not a big fan of fighting.

I am willing to play by other’s rules in the judicious use of violence, though, within the confines of escalation theory. If you’re hitting me, and I don’t think you have an justification for hitting me, I will hit you back hard enough to make you stop.

Which brings us to example three. I knew another girl who enjoyed slapping me in the face during arguments. Not hard enough to do damage. Generally not hard enough to hurt particularly. Just enough to be annoying. I didn’t slug her (as per the example at the bigging of the post) but I would take two fingers and poke her in the ribs about in union with her trying to slap me. She’d stop trying to emphasize her points with violence… well, for that discussion, anyway.

31

I don’t buy into the whole “never hit a girl” thing. It’s basically sexist, and far too narrow. Better to say, “Never hit people you love.” That includes girlfriends, boyfriends, just plain friends, spouses, children, and parents. Siblings are optional. If one of those people hit me first, I’m not going to hit back. I will, depending on circumstances, most likely end whatever relationship we havve, though. If a girlfriend hit me, she wouldn’t be my girlfriend for very long.

On the other hand, if a girl I don’t know came up and hit me? You bet I’m going to flatten her, same as I would a guy who did the same thing.

32

There seems to be a certain personality type that are punchers. I have known men AND women that are punchers. The type of person I am referring to, are the people that will punch you if you don’t immediately recognize their presence in a social situation.

For example, I go to a crowded bar and see Joe-the-puncher across the room, we make eye contact and kind of say hello from a distance. If I don’t immediately walk over to Joe and strike up a conversation, sometime in the near future Joe will walk over to me and punch me, not punch me in the jaw or head or anything, but in the arm or an overly hardy backslap. This isn’t a friendly tap, it’s a punch that hurts for several minutes. Ditto for Josephine-the-puncher.

33

My best (male) friend, J, had a girlfriend who was truly and honestly psycho. I made the mistake of getting an apartment with them, along with my fiancee at the time, who later left to go to boot camp. After it was just the three of us in the apartment, her hatred for me came out in a fury. She couldn’t understand how J and I could have been friends for years and never messed around, and she was convinced we were sneaking around behind her back.

Anyhow, she was extremely physically violent. She constantly punched J and hit him with whatever was handy, she’d throw things at him. Once she locked him into their bedroom (it had a trick lock) and as he was kneeling to figure out how to get the door open, she kicked it and whacked him in the face with the knob, cracking his skull. This little hellcat even took his 9mm and took shots at him inside the house, thankfully never hitting him. It was, unfortunately, a neighborhood where such things went unnoticed.

He put up with it, though. He loved her, he made excuses for her, and all that blah blah. It finally came to a head one afternoon, where she chased him out of the house and started beating on him in the yard. He grabbed her wrists and restrained her, basically picking her up and putting her on the ground, where he sat on her, fighting him the whole time. That’s what the police saw, as they cruised past the building, and that’s what he went to jail for. The charge was battery and domestic violence.

This anecdote was just intended to state my view that it’s a two way street. I think that no man should hit a woman, but no woman should hit a man, either. Some girls think “I can beat on him all I want, he won’t hit me back,” but I think that if you have that attitude, you deserve to get smacked back a little. Nobody should hit anybody, and while the feeling of most guys that it’s wrong to hit a woman is admirable, it should never go past the point of not providing themselves with adequate self defense.

34

I would do what it took to prevent the lady (ahem) from striking me. If she throws a hook or roundhouse-type slap, an inside forearm block can really make her see the folly of her ways. I have used that type of thing on my little brother when it would have been inappropriate to pummel him, and would not hesitate to do a similar block on a woman trying to strike me. If she were to successfully make contact, I’m not sure if I would respond IN KIND, or what.

35

They will still be doing it if you let them slug it out without consequences. If after picking up both kids off the playground dirt and dusting them off, their respective parents apply fair and just discipline to both parties, then they’ll learn it only makes matters worse.

36

My feeling is that ANY personal violence between people, any age, any gender, should be treated like thermonuclear war, like M.A.D. Do everything you can to avoid it, or else everyone’s going to wind up dead.

So my advice: Never hit someone first (assuming you’re not in the middle of a melee, they have a knife pointed at you, etc.).

Never egg people into a fight (women, I’m talking to you–my wife used to do this all the time at bars; get drunk and, b/c she was friends with the staff, antagonize guys until the staff threw them out; made me furious).

If you get slapped, say, “Fuck you, you’re fucking crazy,” and leave.

If they persist, beat them bloody.

I don’t believe in incremental escalation, or tit-for-tat “you slap me, I’ll slap you; you punch me, I’ll punch you”. If you use a slap as a punctutation mark at the end of your sentence, I will realize you are a fucking idiot and leave before things get worse; if you do more than that, then my safety is at risk and I will beat you until one of us can no longer continue.

37

I remember from junior school being taught that if you hit a girl it could make her infertile. Obviously a very strong abdomen punch could dammage the uturus or ova. But, is it really a risk that a 7 year old kid striking a 7 year old girl could cause that sort of damage?

38

There are some women who are tanks, are some men who are frail, but in general the real bottom line is that an average adult man really hitting an average adult women is likely to inflict a lot more serious damage that the woman hitting the man. It’s really just common sense.

39

If the genders are ever going to be truly equal, then the rules that apply to men have to apply to women equally, and vice versa. I would think that if you hit someone, expect to get hit back. Don’t go running away crying, “But I’m a GIRL! How DARE you hit me!”

I’m a big guy. I’m 5’11" and a stocky 245 pounds. I will of course do everything I can to avoid hurting someone weaker than me, since I know how strong I am. But if you attempt to advantage of that and start hitting me, all bets are off.

40

A female that tries to hit me, successfully or unsuccesfully, will end up like the last one that did so: In a very uncomfotable and somewhat humiliating choke hold until she calms down.