# Girls that lie about their age to get sex **URL:** \ **Category:** Great Debates\ **Created:** [November 6, 2014, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918 "2014-11-06T19:41:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![blueskies](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e480ec/32.png) [@blueskies](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blueskies)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/1 "2014-11-06T19:41:31Z")
I hope that I am posting in the right place, if not I am sorry… Lets say that you have a 12 year old girl who lies and lies and lies to numerous boys and teens about her age. She ends up having sex with 4+ different boys in one week then once she gets sex will send a letter to the boy saying haha i am only 12. Lets say that young girl has gotten a std now, has had many boys and teen arrested, but continues to do the cycle of lying about her age. These young men, who are good kids, think they are starting a relationship with a young lady 16 years old. And are now in jail being tried as an adult and on the sex registry. How fair is this? How fair is it taht this girl can continue to lie about her age, have sex with these young teens by lying about her age, then report them and she is still considered to be the victim. I feel the age of consent is WRONG in the state of Virginia! The girl is lying…why do humans lie? BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT IS WRONG! She is well aware what she is doing and it needs to stop…how many young mens lives get ruined over this one young lady? I would love to change the law on this…just do not know how. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/2 "2014-11-06T19:43:23Z")
This sounds rather personal. ---
**Author:** ![leftfield6](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/leftfield6/32/18780_2.png) [@leftfield6](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leftfield6)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/3 "2014-11-06T19:52:11Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > This sounds rather personal. Yeah, it really needed to start with “I know a friend who…”. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/4 "2014-11-06T19:56:11Z")
> [@](#): > > I feel the age of consent is WRONG in the state of Virginia This is not an issue with the age of consent per se, but an issue with statutory rape being a strict liability crime (if I’m not mistaken about the English legal term for this). ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/5 "2014-11-06T19:59:43Z")
I’d maybe show a quantum of concern for the 12 year old with an STD having sex with multiple partners, too, but that’s just me… ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/6 "2014-11-06T20:01:48Z")
The indication that the girl has clear emotional problems does not excuse these “good boys” from their actions. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/7 "2014-11-06T20:23:04Z")
> [@blueskies](#): > > I feel the age of consent is WRONG in the state of Virginia! Wait…wut? The rest of your post is about the little girl lying to her partners, getting them arrested and getting STDs. I would say it’s about the culpability of those partners - is it fair to lock them up when they legitimately thought she was older? That’s a decent question in itself - yet you seem to sneak this bit about the age of consent into the conversation. With the context of the thread, I’m left to assume you wish the age of consent to be 12+, is this the case? ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/8 "2014-11-06T20:34:18Z")
The ability to lie does not infer the capability to consent. \*Toddlers \*can lie, and frequently do. That someone underage, girl or boy, might lie in order to get sex (a situation which seems like it’d be way more problematic anyway, but aside from that) doesn’t, and shouldn’t, mean that sex with them is considered alright - or that they can’t be victims. Off the top of my head, for example, one thing that can lead to over-sexual behaviour in young kids is sexual abuse. And really, at the end of the day, I can’t imagine that the harm being caused by the amount of lying, tricking, conniving 12 year olds out there wouldn’t be overweighed many, many, many times over by the harm of setting the age of consent down to their age bracket. ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/9 "2014-11-06T20:35:54Z")
> [@DrFidelius](#): > > The indication that the girl has clear emotional problems does not excuse these “good boys” from their actions. Depends. I have a hard time faulting a 16 yo who has sex with a 16 yo, and by extension with a 16 yo wrongly but honestly believing his partner is 16 yo too. He’s legally in the wrong, and there might be good reasons for that, but he isn’t morally guilty of anything. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/10 "2014-11-06T20:41:18Z")
> [@blueskies](#): > > I would love to change the law on this…just do not know how. Write to your Congressman. Tell him you want to have sex with twelve year olds. Let us know how that works out. ---
**Author:** ![Steken](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@Steken](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Steken)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/11 "2014-11-06T21:48:08Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Write to your Congressman. Tell him you want to have sex with twelve year olds. [Demetri Martin] “You can say ‘I love kids!’ - as a general statement. That’s fine. It’s when you get _specific_ that you get into trouble. ‘I love… _Twelve-year-olds_!’” [/Demetri Martin] ---
**Author:** ![Stringbean](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d6d6ee/32.png) [@Stringbean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stringbean)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/12 "2014-11-06T21:51:44Z")
Well, clearly the 16-year-old boys should not be punished. I, however, greatly wonder if this scenario is at all plausible. ---
**Author:** ![Namkcalb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c89c15/32.png) [@Namkcalb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Namkcalb)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 10:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/13 "2014-11-06T22:14:38Z")
I think the problem isn’t the age of consent, it’s an case of treating all offenders too equally. I think “Romeo and Juliet” laws will be useful. If there is less than 2 years age difference, the offender should get a slap on the wrist and a good talking to, about the importance of maturity differences. If there is 4 years of difference, they should be sent to a young offenders’ institution for half a year, but no sex offenders regisitry If there is 6 years age difference, they should punish them like any common pedo. As for lying about their age. It should be a mitigating factor, only when it is reasonable to believe. If the two people met at over18s bar, or if she hung around 16yr+ people, “she told me she was” isn’t an excuse. Some 12 year olds do look 18 and some 18 year olds do look 12, so people use factors other than appearance to estimate age. ---
**Author:** ![tomndebb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/b9e5f3/32.png) [@tomndebb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tomndebb)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/14 "2014-11-06T22:30:59Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Write to your Congressman. Legislator, not congress critter. These sort of laws are set at the state level, not at the national level. ---
**Author:** ![simster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/simster/32/1047_2.png) [@simster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/simster)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/15 "2014-11-06T22:50:41Z")
i’ve never known a single girl that has to lie to ‘get sex’ - they may lie for other reasons - but generally, if they want sex, they’ll get it. Its the guys who have to lie afterwards - “she said she was single” - 'she said she was a virgin" - " he said he was a girl"… ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/16 "2014-11-06T23:53:32Z")
Welcome to America, home of the poorly informed moral panic. Luckily there are Romeo & Juliet laws in some states where if the age difference is only 5 or so years they don’t prosecute but not in enough states. I wonder what % of people on the sex offender registry are actually guilty of serious crimes and of them what % are likely to offend again. The 12 year old in the OP has some serious problems, but the guys she was with shouldn’t be punished. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2014, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/17 "2014-11-06T23:56:18Z")
> [@tomndebb](#): > > Legislator, not congress critter. These sort of laws are set at the state level, not at the national level. The only difference is what watch list they put him on. ---
**Author:** ![PastTense](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pasttense/32/14550_2.png) [@PastTense](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PastTense)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/18 "2014-11-07T01:29:39Z")
So how common is it to get STDs when you are using condoms? ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/19 "2014-11-07T02:23:09Z")
> [@blueskies](#): > > Lets say that you have a 12 year old girl who lies and lies and lies to numerous boys and teens about her age. She ends up having sex with 4+ different boys in one week then once she gets sex will send a letter to the boy saying haha i am only 12. Lets say that young girl has gotten a std now, **has had many boys and teen arrested, but continues to do the cycle of lying about her age.** I can’t think of any town or city – from a one traffic light town in Sticksville to a skyscraper-filled city where people are packed like sardines – where this duplicitous demi-dame could pull this con more than once, if at all. All the elements of this are tailor-made for grabbing attention. A _pre-teen_ conniving, devious strumpet? Sex? Underage sex? Sex offender? Ruining the lives of teen boys? Actual arrests and not just accusations? Ain’t NO WAY everyone in town wouldn’t know within a day and ain’t NO WAY this story wouldn’t spread like wildfire across the internet just as fast, either. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2014, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918/20 "2014-11-07T02:31:22Z")
> [@blueskies](#): > > These young men, who are good kids, think they are starting a relationship with a young lady 16 years old. And are now in jail being tried as an adult and on the sex registry. How fair is this? How fair is it taht this girl can continue to lie about her age, have sex with these young teens by lying about her age, then report them and she is still considered to be the victim. I feel the age of consent is WRONG in the state of Virginia! The girl is lying…why do humans lie? BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT IS WRONG! She is well aware what she is doing and it needs to stop…how many young mens lives get ruined over this one young lady? Emphasis added. “These young men” only exist in your hypothetical, not in the world that actually exists. I’m having a hard time feeling sorry for hypothetical young men. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-that-lie-about-their-age-to-get-sex/703918.md?page=2)