# Girls who have sex with relative strangers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2009, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894 "2009-01-12T09:44:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![CalD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@CalD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalD)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/1 "2009-01-12T09:44:45Z")
Hi there, I was at work yesterday (I work part time in retail), and I overheard a young girl telling her friend about what she got up to the previous night. Basically, she was at a club of some sort, met a guy, they danced for a bit, they went back his place, and they had sex. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m fully aware this kind of thing goes on, to what extent I am not sure. The thing that I picked up on with this particular girl was the care-free tone she used while telling the story. There didn’t seem to be any hint of regret, she giggled through parts of the story, etc. I’d really like to know what the thought process is of young girls that do this sort of thing. Are they able to do it without feeling any hint of regret? Without feeling cheapened? I know of a couple of girls who have done this, but they’ve told me they did have feelings of regret about it. What about these girls that seem to do it without any ill-feeling at all? **What’s their thought process?** In the young female demographic, are we approaching a situation in which the majority of young women are open to doing this kind of thing, without feeling bad about it? And yes, I am asking via the angle of a girl’s perspective. Being a guy, I have a fair idea what the male thought process is in such a sitation :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 10:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/2 "2009-01-12T10:02:44Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > And yes, I am asking via the angle of a girl’s perspective. Being a guy, I have a fair idea what the male thought process is in such a sitation :rolleyes: And why should the girl’s perspective be any different than the boy’s, and why should she feel bad about it? Assuming she protected herself from pregnancy and STDs, why should the experience have been anything other than positive? What is she supposed to be regretting? ---
**Author:** ![CalD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@CalD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalD)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 10:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/3 "2009-01-12T10:14:19Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > And why should the girl’s perspective be any different than the boy’s, and why should she feel bad about it? Assuming she protected herself from pregnancy and STDs, why should the experience have been anything other than positive? What is she supposed to be regretting? A lot of girls seem to mention how cheapened they feel after such an experience, which causes mental anguish. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 10:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/4 "2009-01-12T10:22:38Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > A lot of girls seem to mention how cheapened they feel after such an experience, which causes mental anguish. Then shouldn’t you be rejoicing that you overheard a girl _not_ getting all anguished about it? To answer the question in the OP though, I’m guessing that the girls’ thought processes are much the same as blokes the world over, to whit, they had a great night out dancing and laughing then topped the evening off with a magnificent orgasm WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED. How can that be a bad thing?? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/5 "2009-01-12T10:25:23Z")
Oh, and yes, I know a LOT of young women and apart from those with orthodox religious backgrounds, all of them are fucking and smiling about it afterwards. Go girls. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ponsonby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@ponsonby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ponsonby)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/6 "2009-01-12T10:35:23Z")
What’s the problem exactly? It’s her life she didn’t seem too traumatised from your own words. None of your business how she behaves in her own time. Also the conversation wasn’t for you so you shouldn’t be listening anyway. ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/7 "2009-01-12T10:38:04Z")
A female enjoying sex? That’s just madness! Why, next thing you know, they’ll be asking for the right to vote! ---
**Author:** ![Grrr](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/grrr/32/146_2.png) [@Grrr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Grrr)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 10:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/8 "2009-01-12T10:43:26Z")
Guy here, You know I got into it with an old lady one time about this sort of thing. This bar I used to frequent in my 20’s. I used to have quite the reputation as being a man whore. The old lady starts to wag her finger at me; telling me what a piece of shit I am for “taking advantage” of these poor little girls. I then had to inform her that I wasn’t taking advantage of ANYBODY. Believe it or not, there are girls out there who just want to get laid! The old lady had a hard time believing this. She just couldn’t fathom the idea that girls just want to get laid. So maybe the paradigm has changed in the past couple of generations? [shrugs] I don’t know. All I can say is I aint hate’n it! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/9 "2009-01-12T10:54:17Z")
Let’s see… You get dressed up, you go out, you dance, you’re horny. You see someone attractive who makes you feel pretty, then makes you feel good physically. You have sex, it’s fun. You say goodbye. If you’re not looking for anything more than sex, if you don’t expect it and you don’t want it, you don’t regret not having it. Girls who feel cheap and used are the ones who ARE looking for an emotional connection and are disappointed when all they get is a physical one. ---
**Author:** ![Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e68b1a/32.png) [@Abby\_Emma\_Sasha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abby_Emma_Sasha)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/10 "2009-01-12T11:04:05Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > A female enjoying sex? That’s just madness! Why, next thing you know, they’ll be asking for the right to vote! Wait a minute, we can vote now? ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/11 "2009-01-12T11:09:18Z")
The guys are also having sex with a “relative stranger.” What’s the difference? ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/12 "2009-01-12T11:14:50Z")
> [@](#): > > originally posted by **SHAKES** : > So maybe the paradigm has changed in the past couple of generations? ::creaks, adjusts reading glasses, clears throat:: In MY day (I was aged 15-25 from 1973-83) a lot of us thought NSA sex was very, um, liberating. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/13 "2009-01-12T11:14:55Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > **What’s their thought process?** I suspect it goes something like: “I just had me some commitment-free great sex! Awesome!” ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/14 "2009-01-12T11:15:39Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > The guys are also having sex with a “relative stranger.” What’s the difference? Oh **Rilch** , don’t you get the jist of this OP…they’re GIRLS, so they should be nice and chaste and oh so regretful of their naughty night-out. The boyz get a free-pass because, hey, that’s the natural way that blokes behave. Duh. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/15 "2009-01-12T11:32:39Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > Being a guy, I have a fair idea what the male thought process is in such a sitation :rolleyes: Being a guy, I always felt cheaped whenever that happened to me. No matter how many times it happened. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/16 "2009-01-12T11:35:21Z")
> [@TokyoPlayer](#): > > No matter how many times it happened. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/17 "2009-01-12T11:52:39Z")
Girl wanted some sport sex. She got some. Fair play. Girls have been brought up to think and act as independantly as their male peers. Some like to party. Once they look after themselves in the same way we expect males to, condoms etc. I don’t see the problem or why it even any of our business what people get up to in their spare time. ---
**Author:** ![CalD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@CalD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalD)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/18 "2009-01-12T12:06:44Z")
What does sex mean to these types of people? If it’s not an intimate act to be used as a sacred relationship strengthening tool, what is it? If NSA sex is fine and harmless, then why do people who engaged in it when they were single see harm in it after they are committed/married? ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/19 "2009-01-12T12:10:00Z")
I never found any attraction to a girl that is like that. Actually they turn me off. They seem to gravitate to the biggest asshole morons in a bar as I recall also. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/20 "2009-01-12T12:11:38Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > If it’s not an intimate act to be used as a sacred relationship strengthening tool, what is it? When did sex become simply a ‘sacred relationship strengthening tool’. I must’ve skipped lessons that day > [@CalD](#): > > If NSA sex is fine and harmless, then why do people who engaged in it when they were single see harm in it after they are committed/married? Who are these ‘people’? Because they’re not me. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894.md?page=2)