# Girls who have sex with relative strangers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2009, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894 "2009-01-12T09:44:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/21 "2009-01-12T12:12:06Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > A female enjoying sex? That’s just madness! Why, next thing you know, they’ll be asking for the right to vote! Now, now, let’s not get ahead of ourselves! Why, I’m as alarmed as the next fellow by talk of this “orgasm” nonsense for our women, but it’s a far cry from the bedroom to the ballot-box! ---
**Author:** ![Bridget\_Burke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7cd45c/32.png) [@Bridget\_Burke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bridget_Burke)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/22 "2009-01-12T12:12:08Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > What does sex mean to these types of people? > > If it’s not an intimate act to be used as a sacred relationship strengthening tool, what is it? > > If NSA sex is fine and harmless, then why do people who engaged in it when they were single see harm in it after they are committed/married? Translation: Why am I not getting any? ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/23 "2009-01-12T12:12:33Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > If NSA sex is fine and harmless, then why do people who engaged in it when they were single see harm in it after they are committed/married? Who says they do? ---
**Author:** ![CalD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@CalD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalD)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/24 "2009-01-12T12:14:46Z")
> [@Rick](#): > > Who says they do? Am I really going to be challenged to show a cite showing that the majority of people who are in a committed relationship look disfavourably on their partners engaging in “NSA” sex? Am I _really_ going to be challenged to produce that cite, am I? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/25 "2009-01-12T12:20:16Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > What does sex mean to these types of people? > > If it’s not an intimate act to be used as a sacred relationship strengthening tool, what is it? > > If NSA sex is fine and harmless, then why do people who engaged in it when they were single see harm in it after they are committed/married? Well, many people see sex as _fun_, pure and simple. Thanks to modern contraception and protection against STDs, it’s hard to see how that’s an unreasonable view. As for why people who enjoy NSA sex see it as harmful after they’re in a committed relationship - well, at that point they’d be breaking a promise to their partner if they went out for a night on the town. That may not be entirely rational - but on the other hand, it may be (if they had _unprotected_ sex with a stranger, and then their partner). Even if it isn’t entirely rational - what sort of jerk would go around hurting someone they’re in a relationship with, then dismiss that pain as “irrational”? ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/26 "2009-01-12T12:22:17Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > Am I really going to be challenged to show a cite showing that the majority of people who are in a committed relationship look disfavourably on their partners engaging in “NSA” sex? > > Am I _really_ going to be challenged to produce that cite, am I? Now that is a very different kettle of fish to the one you queried in your OP mate. Care to tell us why the switch?? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![WormTheRed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/bbe5ce/32.png) [@WormTheRed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WormTheRed)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/27 "2009-01-12T12:22:33Z")
I think it’s mainly, as previously stated, a generation question or a personal question. I know my dad dislikes the notion of NSA sex and advised me against it a few times (not that we ever talked much about sex) and some of my friends wouldn’t engage in it. But those that do; I don’t think their perception of it changes when they settle down with spouse or long term partner. So my glorious conclusion is: Some people like NSA sex, some don’t. And most of them don’t change their mind about it. ---
**Author:** ![jjimm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ba8739/32.png) [@jjimm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jjimm)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/28 "2009-01-12T12:29:14Z")
> [@Rilchiam](#): > > The guys are also having sex with a “relative stranger.” Better than having sex with a “relative”! ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/29 "2009-01-12T12:32:41Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > A female enjoying sex? That’s just madness! Why, next thing you know, they’ll be asking for the right to vote! And wearing pants!!! It’s madness! ---
**Author:** ![CalD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@CalD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalD)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/30 "2009-01-12T12:35:13Z")
> [@kambuckta](#): > > Now that is a very different kettle of fish to the one you queried in your OP mate. > > Care to tell us why the switch?? > > :dubious: Hi kambuckta, I was responding to Rick, who was responding to a different post of mine again. Or.. I’m not sure what you mean. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/31 "2009-01-12T12:35:30Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > Am I really going to be challenged to show a cite showing that the majority of people who are in a committed relationship look disfavourably on their partners engaging in “NSA” sex? > > Am I _really_ going to be challenged to produce that cite, am I? I clearly missed your meaning - I thought you were suggesting that people in committed relationships look down on other people who are still having a sexual free-for-all. ---
**Author:** ![CalD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@CalD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalD)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/32 "2009-01-12T12:39:08Z")
> [@SanVito](#): > > I clearly missed your meaning - I thought you were suggesting that people in committed relationships look down on other people who are still having a sexual free-for-all. Sorry, I meant to say that people who engage in NSA sex with multiple strangers while they were single, all of a sudden can’t do that anymore now that they are committed. But why? If it’s NSA sex, it’s NSA sex. What does it matter if the person is now committed? ---
**Author:** ![MissMossie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f6c823/32.png) [@MissMossie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MissMossie)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/33 "2009-01-12T12:42:56Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > Being a guy, I have a fair idea what the male thought process is in such a sitation :rolleyes: Being a woman, I have only guesses to what the male thought process (assuming there is just the one thought process…) is in such a situation. Care to enlighten me? ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/34 "2009-01-12T12:44:48Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > Sorry, I meant to say that people who engage in NSA sex with multiple strangers while they were single, all of a sudden can’t do that anymore now that they are committed. > > But why? > > If it’s NSA sex, it’s NSA sex. What does it matter if the person is now committed? Some people **do** have open sexual and even romantic relationships after marriage, you know. Other people realize that regardless of what they do in a one-night stand, they do have jealousy issues with sex when it comes to long-term relationships and so knock it off. And still others carry on with sex outside the marriage without working that out with their partner, and end up breaking up the marriage one way or another. ---
**Author:** ![kambuckta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/53a042/32.png) [@kambuckta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kambuckta)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/35 "2009-01-12T12:46:44Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > Hi kambuckta, I was responding to Rick, who was responding to a different post of mine again. Ah,\*\* Rick\*\* snuck in under my radar with a one-liner, the bugger! Yes, I agree with you **CalD** that most people in a dedicated relationship would look disfavourably upon a partner engaging in NSA (or any other) relationship whilst committed to their partners. 😉 On the other hand, I think single folk should spend all their spare time fucking their brains out…safely, of course! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Sr\_Siete](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6de8d8/32.png) [@Sr\_Siete](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sr_Siete)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/36 "2009-01-12T12:48:29Z")
> [@Shirley\_Ujest](#): > > And wearing pants!!! Good Lord! That’s preposterous! I blame the Bolshevik and the Freemasons for putting such ideas in our youth! CalD, my good fellow, I venture that the right course of action would be to procure the name of the lady’s (and I use the term reluctantly) father, pay him a visit and inform him that his daughter suffers from a rare mental disease known as Deviant Hysterical Nymphomania. A couple of months in an asylum and some electroconvulsive therapy treatment should do a world of good for her. ---
**Author:** ![SanVito](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sanvito/32/2805_2.png) [@SanVito](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SanVito)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/37 "2009-01-12T12:56:12Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > Sorry, I meant to say that people who engage in NSA sex with multiple strangers while they were single, all of a sudden can’t do that anymore now that they are committed. > > But why? > > If it’s NSA sex, it’s NSA sex. What does it matter if the person is now committed? Okay, fair point for discussion. But it’s drifting somewhat from your OP, and surely applies to both men and women? ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 12:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/38 "2009-01-12T12:59:26Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > Good Lord! That’s preposterous! I blame the Bolshevik and the Freemasons for putting such ideas in our youth! > CalD, my good fellow, I venture that the right course of action would be to procure the name of the lady’s (and I use the term reluctantly) father, pay him a visit and inform him that his daughter suffers from a rare mental disease known as Deviant Hysterical Nymphomania. > > A couple of months in an asylum and some electroconvulsive therapy treatment should do a world of good for her. Now, now, my good man - let’s not be too hasty. Simply inducing a state of hysterical paroxysm may remedy the lady’s condition. Cite: [Female hysteria - Wikipedia](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_hysteria) I shall happily provide my services free-of-charge - anything for a comrade Doper! ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 1:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/39 "2009-01-12T13:00:56Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > Am I really going to be challenged to show a cite showing that the majority of people who are in a committed relationship look disfavourably on their partners engaging in “NSA” sex? > > Am I _really_ going to be challenged to produce that cite, am I? Of course not, but it would be delightful if you could explain what exactly makes it difficult for you to \*understand \*that foregoing NSA sex is generally one of the sacrifices involved in being in a committed relationship. The very simple (general) rule is that single people are allowed to fuck whomever they like, and people in a relationship aren’t. As you imply, it’s so fundamental to the idea of a “committed relationship” that it seems to me it shouldn’t need much explaining. Hey… maybe you’re the guy to explain to \*me \*why I should feel “cheapened” by NSA sex. What I’ve always heard is that I’m “giving it away”, but no one has ever been able to adequately explain to me exactly what I’m \*giving \*that I’m not also _getting_. ---
**Author:** ![CalD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/7feea3/32.png) [@CalD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalD)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2009, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/40 "2009-01-12T13:07:40Z")
> [@DianaG](#): > > Of course not, but it would be delightful if you could explain what exactly makes it difficult for you to \*understand \*that foregoing NSA sex is generally one of the sacrifices involved in being in a committed relationship. The very simple (general) rule is that single people are allowed to fuck whomever they like, and people in a relationship aren’t. As you imply, it’s so fundamental to the idea of a “committed relationship” that it seems to me it shouldn’t need much explaining. Oh well, I guess I’m just one of those guys that likes to ask “but why is it so?” I didn’t like the answer of “_because that’s the way it is!_” when I was a two year old, and two decades on, not much has changed! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894.md?page=3)