# Girls who have sex with relative strangers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 12, 2009, 9:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894 "2009-01-12T09:44:45Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/161 "2009-01-13T21:45:51Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > No. For everybody. > > By its very definition sexual arousal and the sexual act is a limbic and hence emotional response. > > It’s a fact, sex is inseperable and entirely dependent on the limbic centers of emotion. Science agrees with my view. This is trivially true. Eating a twinkie causes an emotional response. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/162 "2009-01-13T21:57:20Z")
Yes, it’s trivially true. That’s my point. And what people here don’t seem to get. Emotion leads to sex, sex leads to emotion. There is no such thing as sex without consequence of emotion. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/163 "2009-01-13T21:57:38Z")
My “emotional response” to NSA sex is “Yay, sex!!!” I suspect that’s not the emotional response you’re referring to. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 10:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/164 "2009-01-13T22:03:07Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > Yes, it’s trivially true. That’s my point. And what people here don’t seem to get. > > Emotion leads to sex, sex leads to emotion. There is no such thing as sex without consequence of emotion. Trivially true means true but unimportant. As I meant to suggest with the twinkie example, the mere fact that an action provokes an emotional response does not make that action deeply significant. ---
**Author:** ![ponsonby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/898d66/32.png) [@ponsonby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ponsonby)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2009, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/165 "2009-01-13T22:50:48Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > Diana, all you’re doing is finding as many ways as possible to say “because that’s the way it is!”. > > I want to see some justification of the position to remove the inconsistency. If people believe that NSA sex with multiple partners while they are single is ok, why does that change when they enter a relationship? > > I am not saying partners can’t agree to it, I am asking how they justify it, and why has their attitude towards sex with strangers now changed from “harmless fun” to whatever they now perceive it to be? Hey CalD, who do you think you are to expect anybody to justify themselves and their relationships to you? Where do you get off questioning anybody’s reasons for their own lifestyles. You are the only one seeing a contradiction. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/166 "2009-01-14T00:10:14Z")
> [@WF\_Tomba](#): > > Trivially true means true but unimportant. As I meant to suggest with the twinkie example, the mere fact that an action provokes an emotional response does not make that action deeply significant. It does in the case of sex. Twinkies are great and everything, but they don’t lead to erection, vaginal lubrication, orgasm, babies, and the emotion that ostensibly ties it all together- Love. The fact that sex is impossible without emotional (limbic) response is highly significant, not at all trivial. The entire basis of sex is emotional in a very real and physical sense. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/167 "2009-01-14T01:05:01Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > It does in the case of sex. Twinkies are great and everything, but they don’t lead to erection, vaginal lubrication, orgasm, babies, and the emotion that ostensibly ties it all together- Love. The fact that sex is impossible without emotional (limbic) response is highly significant, not at all trivial. The entire basis of sex is emotional in a very real and physical sense. You misunderstand. Just about everything requires limbic response. Hence the fact that sex does as well is insignificant. ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 1:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/168 "2009-01-14T01:07:52Z")
> [@Sr\_Siete](#): > > A couple of months in an asylum and some electroconvulsive therapy treatment should do a world of good for her. One might think that the convulsions she experienced were plenty theraputic !!! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 1:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/169 "2009-01-14T01:37:11Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > No. In fact, it’s the bottom who has the most control, since he’s the one who sets limits. (I’m not using the term “bottom” in the narrow context of anal sex, but in a much broader sense, including BDSM. In that sense, I am a top, and my partner is a bottom.) I have met many bottoms, in fact thousands, and damn few would consider themselves as “giving.” The men who think in terms of “giving” aren’t bottoms at all; they’re slaves (not that there’s anything wrong with that). > > If you are thinking that bottoms are more “giving,” then I think you are looking at sex from the point of view of a penis, and everything that interacts with that penis is being accommodating or receptive to it. Believe it or not, there are other points of view. Oh, I believe it. Experienced it. Been there done that - sex where no penis or penis like object was involved. But not being a gay man or having the types of conversations with the gay men I have known that I have with my girlfriends, had no idea if the psychology was similar - since it seems to be common - not universal - but common - among women I know. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/170 "2009-01-14T01:41:53Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > You misunderstand. Just about everything requires limbic response. Hence the fact that sex does as well is insignificant. But I would say that in evolutionary terms, perhaps the only reason for the existence of major limbic organs and hence emotion is entirely dependant on the most important survival strategy… Reproduction. That the limbic system sprung up around fight and flight and reproductive responses is undeniable. The Chicken or the egg. I’m sorry, but in order to make Mr. Superpenis take flight, my entire limbic love faculties are focused on a real live emotional person (I can’t see them any other way.) It’s the heighth of and the most intense use of and excercise of my limbic regions … It’s almost like emotions were made for sex. ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/171 "2009-01-14T01:46:24Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > But I would say that in evolutionary terms, perhaps the only reason for the existence of major limbic organs and hence emotion is entirely dependant on the most important survival strategy… Reproduction. That the limbic system sprung up around fight and flight and reproductive responses is undeniable. The Chicken or the egg. > > I’m sorry, but in order to make Mr. Superpenis take flight, my entire limbic love faculties are focused on a real live emotional person (I can’t see them any other way.) It’s the heighth of and the most intense use of and excercise of my limbic regions … It’s almost like emotions were made for sex. So? ---
**Author:** ![TorpedoTed](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/da6949/32.png) [@TorpedoTed](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TorpedoTed)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/172 "2009-01-14T02:08:23Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > Twinkies are great and everything, but they don’t lead to erection, vaginal lubrication, orgasm, babies, and the emotion that ostensibly ties it all together- Love. Obviously you’ve never had a really good Twinkie. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/173 "2009-01-14T02:10:05Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > I’m sorry, but in order to make Mr. Superpenis take flight, my entire limbic love faculties are focused on a real live emotional person (I can’t see them any other way.) It’s the heighth of and the most intense use of and excercise of my limbic regions … It’s almost like emotions were made for sex. I’m not really sure what you think any of this proves, except that you’re apparently That Guy who wants to friggin’ cuddle. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/174 "2009-01-14T02:12:16Z")
> [@TorpedoTed](#): > > Obviously you’ve never had a really good Twinkie. Brilliant. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 2:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/175 "2009-01-14T02:32:02Z")
> [@CalD](#): > > …If it’s not an intimate act to be used as a sacred relationship strengthening tool, what is it?.. I have to admit, sex seems to have the effect of strengthening my tool, but perhaps that’s just my imagination. ---
**Author:** ![WF\_Tomba](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/d9b06d/32.png) [@WF\_Tomba](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WF_Tomba)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 2:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/176 "2009-01-14T02:38:36Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > I’m sorry, but in order to make Mr. Superpenis take flight, my entire limbic love faculties are focused on a real live emotional person (I can’t see them any other way.) It’s the heighth of and the most intense use of and excercise of my limbic regions … It’s almost like emotions were made for sex. So that’s the way it works for you. I’m not trying to attack that. But you have to accept that for a lot of people, it’s not like that. Personally, I don’t need much more than boobs and a pretty face to get the engine running. That doesn’t mean it can’t mean more to me, only that it doesn’t have to. Is it a defect or “disconnect” if someone can have sex and enjoy it without feeling deep emotional stirrings? ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 3:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/177 "2009-01-14T03:11:31Z")
> [@Maeglin](#): > > So? So, in the case of the OP, I think _the man and the woman_ are both objectifying one another sexually. It is sad to see love impotent. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/178 "2009-01-14T03:13:43Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > It is sad to see love impotent. Impotence would definitely put a kink in anyone’s NSA sex plans. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 3:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/179 "2009-01-14T03:19:04Z")
love is impotent. The sex is quite potent. That is why the bond fails. ---
**Author:** ![Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/8edcca/32.png) [@Helen\_s\_Eidolon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Helen_s_Eidolon)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2009, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894/180 "2009-01-14T03:22:03Z")
What bond? What’s failing? Just because you don’t like the idea of casual sex doesn’t mean it objectively IS a bad idea. Although I have no idea why I think I might get this idea through to you when no one else has been able to. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-have-sex-with-relative-strangers/480894.md?page=10)