# Girls who peck-kiss during a make-out session. WTF? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [July 12, 2004, 1:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637 "2004-07-12T01:25:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Indygrrl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58f4c7/32.png) [@Indygrrl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indygrrl)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/21 "2004-07-13T14:46:37Z")
Yeah, I’m wondering if you’re trying to shove your tongue down her throat. I don’t like that, and I don’t know any women who do. Some guys seem to think they need to tongue you to death. It’s not enjoyable. That’s the only reason I’d back off to a peck, well that, or if I’m not really attracted to the guy. Not all kissing is going to be passionate tongue action. My bf and I kiss all the time, sometimes with tongue, sometimes in other ways. It’s one of our favorite activities. Actually, I think that’s a good sign of whether or not you’re compatible with someone. If they kiss like you, then that’s good, but if they’re doing something different and the rhythm is all wrong, that might mean you aren’t a good match. Just a theory. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/22 "2004-07-13T19:59:45Z")
> [@Indygrrl](#): > > Yeah, I’m wondering if you’re trying to shove your tongue down her throat. I don’t like that, and I don’t know any women who do. :: raises hand :: I love really really deep French kisses. I also love just light tongue play, or no tongue at all kisses. I guess I just like kisses, but sometimes, yeah, shoving his tongue down my throat is juuuuuuuuuust fine in my book. 😉 Oh, and: > [@Sue Duhnym](#): > > Is there anyone who likes a tongue in their ear? GAH! My boyfriend does. I personally don’t feel the same, but daaaaaaaaaaaaamned if it doesn’t drive him wild. Fine by me, again. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/23 "2004-07-13T20:21:55Z")
> [@Sue Duhnym](#): > > I always felt like I was covered with slobber…if I turned my head to catch a breath he’d go for the ear. Is there anyone who likes a tongue in their ear? GAH! Ewwww! What a visual! I know exactly how you feel. I remember kissing that boyfriend I mentioned, and one day he was standing with his back to the mirror while he was plunging my throat with his tongue - I started laughing because, from what I could actually see of my face, I looked like a deer in headlights. My eyes were all bugged out in surprise, and my hands were wide open on his shoulders because I was trying to get him to back off a little but he had my head in this vise-like grip. Eventually I grabbed onto his hands and yanked them away. The whole situation was ludicrous, and I don’t think he thought it was as funny as I did. :wally ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 10:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/24 "2004-07-13T22:33:12Z")
> [@Sue Duhnym](#): > > Is there anyone who likes a tongue in their ear? GAH! In the ear… yuck. On the earlobe… well that’s not so bad. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Mudd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f14d63/32.png) [@Larry\_Mudd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Mudd)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2004, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/25 "2004-07-13T23:35:10Z")
I used to go with a girl who regularly did this creepy thing while making out – her eyes would roll back in her head with the eyelids just slitted a tiny bit, her jaw would go totally slack, and she’d kind of roll her head from side-to-side to generate lip/tongue friction. It was about as sexy as anything George A. Romero ever dreamed up. I’d stop, regard her yawning chasm of a mouth, and give her a couple of chaste kisses in the general face area, which would prompt her to respond in kind, necessarily closing the maw and bringing her back into the realm of reasonably erotic behaviour. Thanks for reminding me. :shudder: ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/26 "2004-07-14T12:45:42Z")
> [@Sue Duhnym](#): > > Is there anyone who likes a tongue in their ear? GAH! Earlobe - yes. But actually in the ear - no. ---
**Author:** ![Richard\_Pearse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/richard_pearse/32/13144_2.png) [@Richard\_Pearse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Richard_Pearse)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/27 "2004-07-14T14:23:04Z")
I smooched a girl once who had a LOT of slobber to pass to me. I dared not swallow. I’m much more of a non-tongue kisser now. ---
**Author:** ![praxim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/53a042/32.png) [@praxim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/praxim)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/28 "2004-07-14T16:38:43Z")
I love the tongue in the ear. I had a girlfriend once who just plain couldn’t kiss without tongue. I tried it once and she gave me a look like I had just tried to drive a cattle truck up her ass. ---
**Author:** ![Epimetheus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c4cdca/32.png) [@Epimetheus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Epimetheus)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 6:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/29 "2004-07-14T18:02:04Z")
Re the ear thing: I used to do this when I was younger. I learned through the years back when I was dating more that girls that liked the tongue in the ear were pretty rare. Licking the earlobe isn’t quite as good as gently nibbling it, and nothing seems to beat a soft exhaling breath while rubbing your lips lightly along the along the crest of the ear. Plus you can breathe in the wonderful scent of a womans hair. Kinda hard to do when you are trying to tickle her eardrum. ---
**Author:** ![cheddarsnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@cheddarsnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cheddarsnax)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/30 "2004-07-14T20:01:35Z")
> [@danceswithcats](#): > > She had to rub part of my hand, like it was a lucky rabbit’s foot or something. Really now, what’s wrong with that? ---
**Author:** ![Marvel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/779978/32.png) [@Marvel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvel)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/31 "2004-07-14T23:04:36Z")
> [@stuyguy](#): > > I’ve smooched with all types of female kissers over the years. Some are good. Others are really good. But two that I’ve known are unlike all the others. They are peck-kissers. Sure, they’ll mix it up with a little tongue action, but the core of their repertoire seems to be peck, peck, peck on the lips. > > I don’t get it. It is not sexual, sensual or even romantic to me in any way. What gives with these women? Does this kissing really ring their bell? Are the Doper women out there that go for this style? Guys? If so, why? Maybe she’s trying to call a brief “time out” to the smooching so she can come up for air? Patty ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2004, 11:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/32 "2004-07-14T23:31:27Z")
> [@RindaRinda](#): > > I can’t stand the gaping yawp with probing tongue style of kissing; did these people learn to kiss by licking cake bowls? I don’t have much to add, but that is damn funny. Not that I used to do that, no, certainly not. [sub]Where’d I put my cake bowl?[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 12:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/33 "2004-07-15T00:15:21Z")
Assuming the OP is talking about closed-mouth peck kissers, I completely agree. Open mouth kissing (with or without tongue) is awesome, but those little closed-mouth pecks just give me the heebie-jeebies. It’s like I’m making out with an elderly relative all of a sudden. Now, if he’s complaining about open-mouth kissing without tongue, then that’s just silly. ---
**Author:** ![lachesis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@lachesis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lachesis)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2004, 3:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/34 "2004-07-15T15:50:31Z")
> [@CrazyCatLady](#): > > When you say “peck” do you mean like a peck on the cheek, or you just talking about no tongue? There’s a world of difference between the two, you know. Quick little cheek-type pecks either mean she’s not all that interested in kissing you, or she doesn’t care for the way you’re kissing her. It could be that you’re too slobbery, as others have suggested. It could also be that you’re being too aggressive, which we’ll get to in just a moment. > > The other type of non-tongue kissing, which is what I think you’re probably talking about, can mean a lot of different things. It could be that she enjoys that type of kissing and finds it subtler and more arousing than using lots of tongue. It could be that she just doesn’t care for the whole tongue thing all that much. It could be that she prefers to start slow. This is where the aggressive thing comes in. A lot of men seem to want to put their arms around you and right away start licking your tonsils. If you don’t want your tonsils licked at all, or you need some time to work up enthusiasm for tonsil-licking, this is unspeakably off-putting. A lot of women will pull back on their technique, hoping the guy will take a hint. (This pretty much never works, in my experience. It just makes them push harder, and turns into a never-ending feedback loop.) > > Personally, I looooooove long, slow, tongueless kisses. I find them far more sensuous and exponentially more arousing than tongue action. Actually, I don’t really find the tongue stuff particularly arousing or interesting at all. It’s nice enough once I’m already turned on, but it’s not going to get me where I need to be to properly enjoy the festivities. And the pushing thing is pretty much _never_ sexy. It is, in fact, a remarkably effective way to squash desire. A long, slow, dry kiss and a caress on the neck will make me putty in your hands. Shoving your tongue in my mouth and grabbing my boobs will make me wander off to see if there’s anything good on tv. oh thankyouthankyouthankyou i was starting to get the idea that i was some sort of mutant or something, simply because i don’t think someone else’s tongue in MY mouth was the greatest thing since sliced bread. for the life of me, i find it hard to imagine how it ever got this fantastic reputation of being such an erotic event. i’ll admit, ON OCCASION it has been enjoyable… but for Og’s sake, that doesn’t mean i want it stuck down my throat, or even **into my mouth** , every time our lips happen to meet!!! crikey! sometimes i credit it to severe lack of imagination on the male part. they hear (somewhere) “chicks dig this”. (and granted, there are some who do. and some who do **as a diversion**.) but this seems to get written to their brains directly as “DO AT ALL TIMES”. wrong correlation, boys. everyone is unique. just because it’s big in porn pictures doesn’t mean it plays great IRL. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 5:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/35 "2004-07-16T05:19:55Z")
I just wanna say–this is the funniest thread I’ve read in ages. Poor **stuyguy**! He starts this thread to complain about girls who are lousy kissers, and the next thing you know, he’s been branded as an unnatractive, slobbery, tongue-thrusting oaf with halitosis. ---
**Author:** ![stuyguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@stuyguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stuyguy)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 5:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/36 "2004-07-16T05:48:21Z")
Thanks for your concern, **GB**! To briefly address some of the issues that have been raised about my OP: No, I’m not a slobbery kisser. In fact, my kissing has been complimented a number of times. (But you know how women are. They’ll say \*anything \* to get you in the sack. [Grinny]) I’m pretty careful with my breath too, so I don’t think that’s it either. And the pecks don’t come as a “breaktime”; they usually start the session and stay, to varying degrees, throughout. FTR, I like the tongue in the ear business, but I’ve learned that most women don’t, so I’ve retired the move unless I’m asked for a command performance. You’ve all been great. Keep those cards & letters rolling in! ---
**Author:** ![Incubus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c68b51/32.png) [@Incubus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Incubus)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2004, 6:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637/37 "2004-07-16T06:45:54Z")
I think if it really bothers you, bring it up. I was on this shipboard romance during my cruise, and one question I asked the woman I was with was how I was as a kisser, because if I was a _lousy_ kisser, well, better she tell me now than discover it 20 years later. One of the ‘chicks dig this’ things I heard, though was women like men that are _good kissers_. What constitutes being a good kisser probably has to do with each woman’s own fantasy and comfort level about kissing. Though between the romance I had last week and reading this thread, I have a pretty good idea what generally works 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/girls-who-peck-kiss-during-a-make-out-session-wtf/254637.md?page=1)