# Give a gay spin to a classic story **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [March 16, 2009, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604 "2009-03-16T12:14:23Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 12:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/1 "2009-03-16T12:14:23Z")
I’ve always wanted to redo _West Side Story_ by having the son of a fundamentalist Chirstian group get together with a gay activist. It would give_I feel pretty and witting and gay_ a whole new meaning. ---
**Author:** ![lawoot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/35a633/32.png) [@lawoot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lawoot)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/2 "2009-03-16T13:26:24Z")
Are we looking for semi-serious glam-ups, or can we go for silly? ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/3 "2009-03-16T13:31:57Z")
Silly is fine too. I would also like to revive Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Song & Dance with the openly gay Sam Harris playing the lead, just to hear him belt out “The Last Man in My Life.” ---
**Author:** ![C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b2d939/32.png) [@C\_K\_Dexter\_Haven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/C_K_Dexter_Haven)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 2:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/4 "2009-03-16T14:03:11Z")
Just as a sort of tangent going the other direction: there’s a famous play (1928, I think) called _The Front Page_ by Ben Hecht, about a hot-shot reporter who wants to quit the newspaper to get married, and the connivances of his editor to prevent him leaving. The play is a male/male friendship story. Howard Hawks made it into a wonderful movie in 1940 called HIS GIRL FRIDAY, with Cary Grant as the editor, and changed the reporter to a female (Rosalind Russell.) The change of gender makes a world of difference. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 2:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/5 "2009-03-16T14:08:09Z")
Remember the old movie “Gentlemen’s Agreement.” Image the Gregory Peck character playing a pretend gay guy. That would so work. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/6 "2009-03-16T16:36:37Z")
One writing project I’ve had on the back burner for awhile (shelved because the guy I was writing it with moved away) was a camp musical version of "the Exorcist"with a very obvious subtext that “the devil” was really Regan’s reaching puberty and feeling her very ‘butch’ lesbian sexuality emerge. As the devil takes hold of her, Regan cuts her hair short & wears flannel shirts, etc. - scaring the fear of God into her previously athiest mother. Unfortunately, my co-writer is the musician, so without him I have no songs for the musical. ---
**Author:** ![Hypno-Toad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b2d939/32.png) [@Hypno-Toad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hypno-Toad)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/7 "2009-03-16T16:50:52Z")
The Mutiny on the Bounty could have a field day with the gay subtext, what with all the seamen. The strict, butch, straight Captain Bligh forces his men to deny their feelings and adhere to official morality. (But gosh, doesn’t he just love watching their half-nude bodies getting the lash.) Mr. Christian just can’t take the repression anymore and he and his, uh, friends take over the boat. Bligh and his hetero buddies are forced to share the Captains dinghy while the first mate and co. frolic on the poop deck. They then turn the Bounty into the first gay cruise ship on it’s way to a south Pacific paradise. ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/8 "2009-03-16T17:02:39Z")
**Moby Dick]** already has Queequeg and Ishmail in the same bed. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/9 "2009-03-16T17:11:47Z")
The Lord of the Rings is chock full of possibilities. Sam and Frodo, Merry and Pippin, Legolas and Gimli, Legolas and Aragorn… ---
**Author:** ![Northern\_Piper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/northern_piper/32/5304_2.png) [@Northern\_Piper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Northern_Piper)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 5:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/10 "2009-03-16T17:12:27Z")
Frodo and Sam struggling together through to Mount Doom, with Sam casting increasingly loving glances at Frodo… rats, it’s been done already. ---
**Author:** ![Sitnam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/6a8cbe/32.png) [@Sitnam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sitnam)\ **Post date:** [March 16, 2009, 5:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/11 "2009-03-16T17:16:52Z")
Any superhero and his ‘ward’. Bert and Ernie on _Sesame Street_. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/12 "2009-03-17T07:50:40Z")
Of course, the Bible: Adam and Steve. ---
**Author:** ![KGS](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/90ced4/32.png) [@KGS](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KGS)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/13 "2009-03-17T08:09:30Z")
I could go for some Scarecrow/Cowardly Lion action right about now. ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/14 "2009-03-17T08:16:02Z")
Teddy Roosevelt - the original Leatherdaddy? I mean, come on - the Rough Riders? Bull Moose? The Teddy “Bear?” It practically writes itself. ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 8:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/15 "2009-03-17T08:46:50Z")
Frodo whips it out: “Like my precious?!” Sam falls to his knees. “Oh, Mr. Frodo…” Lord Of The Cockrings: Part One ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 11:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/16 "2009-03-17T11:05:14Z")
_Romeo and Juliet_ becomes _Romeo and Julio_. It even rhymes ! And their sexuality can be another reason for their families to oppose their relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 11:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/17 "2009-03-17T11:22:27Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > _Romeo and Juliet_ becomes _Romeo and Julio_. It even rhymes ! > > And their sexuality can be another reason for their families to oppose their relationship. So _that’s_ who was with Julio down by the school yard! ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/18 "2009-03-17T12:00:01Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > Frodo whips it out: > “Like my precious?!” > Sam falls to his knees. > “Oh, Mr. Frodo…” > > Lord Of The Cockrings: Part One Sam : It’s not invisible anymore! Frodo: And it has a really long life… (we really need the characters to burst into song about now) ---
**Author:** ![as\_u\_wish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/6f9a4e/32.png) [@as\_u\_wish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/as_u_wish)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 12:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/19 "2009-03-17T12:26:11Z")
Oh what a beauktiful cock ring, oh I’m so glad that we’re gay! I’ve got a wonderful feeling, nazgul are coming our way! ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [March 17, 2009, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604/20 "2009-03-17T13:02:44Z")
**Romeo & Juliet** Act. 3 Scene 1 is practically a gay bashing (I amended a few words in parentases) TYBALT 37 Follow me close, for I will speak to them. 38 Gentlemen, good den: a word with one of you. ``` MERCUTIO ``` 39 And but one word with one of us? couple it with 40 something; make it a word and a blow. (_job_) ``` TYBALT ``` 41 You shall find me apt enough to that, sir, an you 42 will give me occasion. ``` MERCUTIO ``` 43 Could you not take some occasion without 44 giving? ``` TYBALT ``` 45 Mercutio, thou consort’st with Romeo,— (_consortest?] As in Prince consort_) ``` MERCUTIO ``` 46 Consort! what, dost thou make us minstrels? an (_or menstruals_) 47 thou make minstrels of us, look to hear nothing but 48 discords: here’s my fiddlestick; here’s that shall (_fiddlesticks indeed_) 49 make you dance. 'Zounds, consort! ``` BENVOLIO ``` 50 We talk here in the public haunt of men: 51 Either withdraw unto some private place, 52 And reason coldly of your grievances, 53 Or else depart; here all eyes gaze on us. ``` MERCUTIO ``` 54 Men’s eyes were made to look, and let them gaze; 55 I will not budge for no man’s pleasure, I. (_or buldge_) Summary Enter ROMEO. ``` TYBALT ``` 56 Well, peace be with you, sir: here comes my man. ``` MERCUTIO ``` 57 But I’ll be hanged, sir, if he wear your livery: 58 Marry, go before to field, he’ll be your follower; 59 Your worship in that sense may call him “man.” ``` TYBALT ``` 60 Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford 61 No better term than this: thou art a villain. ``` ROMEO ``` 62 Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee 63 Doth much excuse the appertaining rage 64 To such a greeting: villain am I none; 65 Therefore farewell; I see thou know’st me not. ``` TYBALT ``` 66 Boy, this shall not excuse the injuries 67 That thou hast done me; therefore turn and draw. ``` ROMEO ``` 68 I do protest I never injured thee, 69 But love thee better than thou canst devise, 70 Till thou shalt know the reason of my love: 71 And so, good Capulet,—which name I tender 72 As dearly as my own,—be satisfied. ``` MERCUTIO ``` 73 O calm, dishonourable, vile submission! 74 Alla stoccata carries it away. ``` [Draws.] ``` [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-a-gay-spin-to-a-classic-story/489604.md?page=2)