Some of these have reminded me of nicknames for kids I went to school with:
Pookie
Ba-ba (pronounced Bay-bay)
Sweet Pea
C. L. (not flattering at the time)
L. D. (ditto)
Crazy Boy
Dink
Spider
Buster
The Cleaner
The Striped One )pronounced strioe - ed)
The Redneck Whisperer
Some other kind of Whisperer: cow, pig, transistor, Goth, cheese, etc.
The Tourette’s Kid (in bewteen any 2 or more of this title, you must insert “motherfuckin’” at least once)
Spiny Norman
Killer
The Penis with Feet
The Hole Seeker
Blade (or Switchblade)
Runs With Scissors
Dances for Doughnuts
Mr. Smith and Mr Wesson (must point at testicles)
The Jammer
The Hammer
The Spammer (eh, you get the drift)
Manmeat
The Sizzler
TBK (text book killer)
The Grim Sleeper
Hardrock
Max Power
Toothpick
Icepick
Toejam
What religion do you beling to? What;s your first name? I’ll make more.
I’d go with Ace. You’ll never really have to explain that one.
Just don’t choose John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt.
That’s my name.
Funny, that’s my name too. 
No, go by W. When people call you “dubya”, shake your head disgustedly and tell them it’s pronounced “tungsten”.
Agnostic, Jared, J.M.W. are the initials, electrical engineering major, about 15 minors (I swear that isn’t what they said when I met them), sometimes I eat apple butter on my bagels. That about sums it up.
LaRouche
“Corey”.
I’m new and if I want anyone here to like me at all I probably shouldn’t admit this, but I play the Sims.
When I’m stuck for a name, I used the Name maker-upper here-
** removed mistyped link **
Might find a nickname there.
Woops! I screwed something up.
Big dick Mcgurk
Damn, agnostic and Jared are hard to rhyme with.
OK, EE. Well then… Buzz
Shock (you can offer women the Shock treatment)
Jolt
Twitch
Edison
AC or DC or ACDC (er, mabe not)
Butter
Trode (short for electrode)
Meltdown
Actually, you could add the word “major” before or after most of these.
The Beast
Diz or Dizzy
Ebay
“Last edited by Rico : Today at 10:28 PM. Reason: removed mistyped link due to nsfw content”
OMG, I’m so sorry! I don’t know how that happened.
How about Butch?
It’s obvious then, you must be The Pretender.
Am I the only person that ever watched that show? Jared was way hot.
I have the first 3 seasons on DVD, and will be getting season 4 soon: it was Jarod. With an “o.” 
Along those lines, though, Zebra could call himself “Subway.”
Well, you could just go by “J”
We had a friend in college we called Stone Cold or sometimes just Stone. He came in to college as a Tony and left ~four years later being known by just about everyone as Stone Cold.
Instead, just go with “K.,” and when people ask why, tell them that your mom loved Kafka and your dad loved bananas.