# Give me your haikus! **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 18, 2001, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173 "2001-10-18T07:13:37Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mofo\_Rising](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Mofo\_Rising](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mofo_Rising)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/1 "2001-10-18T07:13:37Z")
Okay, so I’m not the genius of verse that I thought I was, but I’ve always been proud of this little haiku: it doesn’t take much to keep me fat and happy oh wait, yes it does So give me your stupid haikus you’ve written. I’m sure most of you could top that stupid entrance. ---
**Author:** ![Dragonblink](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Dragonblink](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dragonblink)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/2 "2001-10-18T07:30:21Z")
After a discussion my mother and I had the other day: Disappointment aches There are no Diet Cheetos Why, Frito-Lay, why? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 10:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/3 "2001-10-18T10:25:30Z")
All day long I spend Reading Straight Dope threads at work; ALT-TAB saves my ass. ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/4 "2001-10-18T13:27:53Z")
I like this one I wrote, called “Firefly Haiku”: Bright green eye opens Quickly, then closes again. Opposite of blink. ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/5 "2001-10-18T13:38:50Z")
Poop should be dark brown Or tan; if it’s blue or pink Call the hospital ---
**Author:** ![Legomancer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Legomancer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Legomancer)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 1:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/6 "2001-10-18T13:58:39Z")
Dodecahedron. No other words fit, only “Dodecahedron.” – An older gaming-related one: My THAC0 is 12, And I just rolled a 15. Did I hit the orc? ---
**Author:** ![ninja\_rydr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/8491ac/32.png) [@ninja\_rydr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ninja_rydr)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/7 "2001-10-18T15:48:33Z")
Ahh, Mofo Rising wants Dopers to give Haiku Back to Pit for me. ``` Rode my bike to work ``` Holy \* shit \* its frickin’ cold Note to self, fix car! ---
**Author:** ![Enderw24](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ba9def/32.png) [@Enderw24](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enderw24)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/8 "2001-10-18T16:12:04Z")
Enterprise good, but “I can see my house from here” was just pure genius Haikus can’t use an- tidisestablishmentar- ianism well. confucious say that better to have two in bush than one cock in hand ---
**Author:** ![Yondan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/278dde/32.png) [@Yondan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yondan)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/9 "2001-10-18T17:00:32Z")
Student walks along. Stops, pondering thoughtfully. Look out for that truck! This really happened to me. I had stopped on a sidewalk corner to think about something, and a rental truck slipped its brake about half a block uphill behind me. The first I knew of it was when it hit the brick wall about ten feet away. ---
**Author:** ![Anubis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/dfb087/32.png) [@Anubis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anubis)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 10:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/10 "2001-10-18T22:38:50Z")
Annoying Haiku. What can I do to stop you? Please shut the f\*\*\* up. ---
**Author:** ![ozonebaby](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/eb8c5e/32.png) [@ozonebaby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ozonebaby)\ **Post date:** [October 18, 2001, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/11 "2001-10-18T22:41:40Z")
> [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Anubis \* > **Annoying Haiku. > What can I do to stop you? > Please shut the f**_ up. \*\* Tut tut tut, such bad language. If only your mother knew. ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/12 "2001-10-19T02:16:27Z")
grr. bad Haiku makes me angry. don’t any of you know the full rules behind Haiku? beyond simple 5-7-5 you must do four things; 1.) each line must be a full sentence or phrase; they cannot carry over from line to line. 2.) the first line must be an abstract metaphor relating to the subject. 3.)hi opal. 4.) the whole thing must be related to your meditative learnings if you are buddhist. otherwise, it must have at least a sense of higher focus, or an aim at the nature of a subject rather than the subject. a good example; _so fire dances mine thoughts are ephemeral true Haiku eludes_ a faulty example; \*damn it i can not think of a single Haiku to share as right now \* see the differences, even though both cover the same thing? hopefully you can see how you might do true Haikus, or at least better ones. you know, i taught this lesson in the pit too… pick up on it! i don’t want to explain it in all the boards as this Haiku-mania spreads. ---
**Author:** ![Hombre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@Hombre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hombre)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/13 "2001-10-19T02:34:36Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by saepiroth \* > \*\*grr. bad Haiku makes me angry. don’t any of you know the full rules behind Haiku? > > beyond simple 5-7-5 you must do four things; > > 1.) each line must be a full sentence or phrase; they cannot carry over from line to line. > > 2.) the first line must be an abstract metaphor relating to the subject. > > 3.)hi opal. \*\* Line 3 is two syllables short. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/14 "2001-10-19T02:45:03Z")
So let me get this straight… ‘Americanized’ haiku, which is not really proper to begin with, must follow 4 strict rules _even_ in a light-hearted vein or be “bad”, yet common English rules like, say, capitalization doesn’t count? ---
**Author:** ![warmgun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/ecccb3/32.png) [@warmgun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/warmgun)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/15 "2001-10-19T02:46:25Z")
😉 ---
**Author:** ![saepiroth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b5ac83/32.png) [@saepiroth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/saepiroth)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/16 "2001-10-19T02:50:19Z")
Yes, yes it does. Well, ok. you are supposed to capitalize[sub]I suck[/sub], but you aren’t supposed to use any punctuation at all in Haiku. oh, and hombre… you really want me to stab you with an icepick, right? because i keep thinking about that… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/17 "2001-10-19T03:15:05Z")
[Scylla likes my sheep](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=83744) But not as much as his girl Why don’t they elope? [Twelve inch pianist](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=93984) Good luck that she isn’t scared Of a little fun [A deep-fried turkey](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=93937) Home Depot has everything to make him tasty ---
**Author:** ![Hombre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@Hombre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hombre)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/18 "2001-10-19T04:25:51Z")
Old age reflection Pierced tongue, controlled substances [Golden Retriever](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?postid=872088#post872088) > [@](#): > > _originally posted by saepiroth_ > **oh, and hombre… > you really want me to stab you with an icepick, right?** Hoo-boy! Another death threat on the Boards!!! I sure hope **curious george** doesn’t find out… **H** ombre… 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/19 "2001-10-19T04:55:26Z")
Hark! A haiku thread! As always, I must make [link](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=76249) To my haiku thread. **Saepiroth** does not understand kung-fu haiku. He will be destroyed. ---
**Author:** ![Hombre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/ecb155/32.png) [@Hombre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hombre)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2001, 8:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173/20 "2001-10-19T08:25:01Z")
Ok, for **[sup][sub]s[/sub][/sup]aepiroth**: Silver water moon Ripples announce my presence Frog croaks back my name For **Miller** : My dick is so big… It is my ninja chauffeur. Smack you down, b - otch! [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-me-your-haikus/88173.md?page=2)