# Give yourself a new name **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 23, 2014, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256 "2014-10-23T15:42:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![DCnDC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dcndc/32/2842_2.png) [@DCnDC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DCnDC)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/1 "2014-10-23T15:42:35Z")
You’re a new immigrant to a Western, primarily English-speaking country (USA, UK, Canada, etc.). In order to ease your assimilation into your new country, as your original name is utterly alien and generally mostly unpronounceable to your new countrymen, and also as a symbol of your fresh start in a new country, you decide to choose a new name. What’s your choice? First and last name (and middle name if you like). (We’ll assume you’re not posting your IRL name.) Do you go historical? Do you choose a common name? Celebrity name? Random objects? An even more unpronounceable name, just to be a dick? ---
**Author:** ![Slowki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/97f17d/32.png) [@Slowki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Slowki)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/2 "2014-10-23T16:04:08Z")
I’d make up a name from objects in the room. Or much more likely go with Xyzt(Pronounced Bill) Smith. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/3 "2014-10-23T16:10:12Z")
John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt. ---
**Author:** ![QuickSilver](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/quicksilver/32/7832_2.png) [@QuickSilver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/QuickSilver)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/4 "2014-10-23T16:11:00Z")
Hey! His name is my name too!! ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 4:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/5 "2014-10-23T16:11:09Z")
Brock Toon. ---
**Author:** ![Drunky\_Smurf](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drunky_smurf/32/449_2.png) [@Drunky\_Smurf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drunky_Smurf)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 4:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/6 "2014-10-23T16:12:08Z")
I’d go with: George Washington America ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/7 "2014-10-23T16:16:50Z")
Crab Ragoo ---
**Author:** ![harmonicamoon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/65b543/32.png) [@harmonicamoon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/harmonicamoon)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/8 "2014-10-23T16:40:26Z")
And the reverse…When I moved to Mexico 8 years ago, I decided to have a more Latino sounding name. My American name was boring compared to the rhythmic names of here. I chose Francisco Gonzalo (Gonzalo Guerro is one of my one of my heroes in Pre-Cortez times) Segovia Cardenes (Names of a family that adopted me) and then I added De la Selva, just because I could. So, it is Francisco Gonzalo Segovia Cardenes de la Selva. Sometimes I get asked what was my birth name. I just tell them that it is better that they don’t know because the FBI and CIA are looking for me. ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/9 "2014-10-23T16:55:39Z")
Missed the opportunity to go with Jorge de la Selva! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 4:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/10 "2014-10-23T16:56:41Z")
I’d want to blend in to the crowd. So I’d just take the most common first name in the world and the most common last name in the world and combine them. So I’d be Mohammad Wang, a typical name you see every day. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/11 "2014-10-23T17:05:21Z")
Steve Bennett! ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/12 "2014-10-23T17:32:38Z")
Stanislav Thaddeus Aloysius Wojciehowicz. ---
**Author:** ![BrotherCadfael](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@BrotherCadfael](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrotherCadfael)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/13 "2014-10-23T17:48:09Z")
Zautinsky, pronounced “Smith”. (Anybody pick up the reference?) ---
**Author:** ![CheshireKat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheshirekat/32/1207_2.png) [@CheshireKat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CheshireKat)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/14 "2014-10-23T18:05:06Z")
Shirley U. Geste ---
**Author:** ![Trinopus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/2bfe46/32.png) [@Trinopus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Trinopus)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 8:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/15 "2014-10-23T20:34:00Z")
Lois Carmen Denominator ---
**Author:** ![NVME702-redux](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a183cd/32.png) [@NVME702-redux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NVME702-redux)\ **Post date:** [October 23, 2014, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/16 "2014-10-23T21:41:40Z")
Patsy… Patsy Stone Right, cheers… ---
**Author:** ![Enocavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e480ec/32.png) [@Enocavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Enocavy)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 12:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/17 "2014-10-24T00:24:56Z")
Evangeline Moss. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 1:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/18 "2014-10-24T01:01:17Z")
Joe Stalin. (Anybody pick up _this_ reference?) ---
**Author:** ![sisu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@sisu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sisu)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/19 "2014-10-24T01:08:41Z")
The best name I have heard for a while is an Aussie football player, Steel Sidebottom. Yep that’s my new name. Of course my middle name would be Danger… Steel Danger Sidebottom. ---
**Author:** ![Rhiannon8404](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rhiannon8404/32/17929_2.png) [@Rhiannon8404](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rhiannon8404)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/20 "2014-10-24T01:14:26Z")
Rhiannon Eightfour Zerofour [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256.md?page=2)