# Give yourself a new name **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 23, 2014, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256 "2014-10-23T15:42:35Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Senegoid](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/senegoid/32/6606_2.png) [@Senegoid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Senegoid)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/21 "2014-10-24T01:56:05Z")
> [@Slowki](#): > > I’d make up a name from objects in the room. Or much more likely go with Xyzt(Pronounced Bill) Smith. Or look around and name yourself after the very first thing you see. With any luck, your new name will be Two Dogs Fucking. Here’s an anecdote I read somewhere (probably in Readers Digest): There was this [del]Oriental[/del] East Asian guy who came to America and became Sven Bjornssen. It seems his native name (or combined native/English name) was Sam Ting. So, at the port of entry when the immigration officer asked him his name, he said Sam Ting. So the officer just wrote down the same name as the man just ahead of him, and that was Sven Bjornssen. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/22 "2014-10-24T02:05:26Z")
Dirk… Phoenix. Dirk Dark Phoenix. Steele. Dirk… Steele. But you can call me Roy. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/23 "2014-10-24T02:18:19Z")
Hmmm. Alexander Shepard. I’ve always liked Alexander/Alexandra, enough that I tend to name a lot of my nameable video game characters that. And Shepard is fairly close to the meaning of my real name. Also, “Alexander Shepard” doesn’t stand out too much. The fact that I really liked the original Mass Effect probably has something to do with it, too… ---
**Author:** ![Colibri](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/colibri/32/1841_2.png) [@Colibri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Colibri)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 2:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/24 "2014-10-24T02:21:44Z")
A good American name, like maybe Pepsi Cocacola. ---
**Author:** ![manila](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e5b9ba/32.png) [@manila](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manila)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/25 "2014-10-24T04:39:34Z")
Filthy McNasty ---
**Author:** ![Cazzle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cazzle/32/75_2.png) [@Cazzle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cazzle)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/26 "2014-10-24T04:52:23Z")
Fluffy Main. Nope, sounds like a porn star. Edie. Edie Vedder. ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/27 "2014-10-24T04:52:53Z")
Bond. James Bond. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/28 "2014-10-24T04:56:23Z")
[Staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster](http://www.cracked.com/article_14982_the-9-manliest-names-in-world.html) I’m female, but it’s just too good to pass up. I hope the actual Staff Sgt. Max Fightmaster doesn’t mind. ---
**Author:** ![Amateur\_Barbarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/59ef9b/32.png) [@Amateur\_Barbarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amateur_Barbarian)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/29 "2014-10-24T12:56:34Z")
> [@manila](#): > > Filthy McNasty You’re a scottie? ---
**Author:** ![Doug\_K](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b5ac83/32.png) [@Doug\_K](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doug_K)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/30 "2014-10-24T14:09:04Z")
I always wanted to change my name to Hugh Bastard (pronounced Buh-STAHRD) so I could get all kinds of free stuff when I acted insulted and outraged at someone’s mispronunciation. ---
**Author:** ![Obnoxious\_Hood\_Ornament](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/3be4f8/32.png) [@Obnoxious\_Hood\_Ornament](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Obnoxious_Hood_Ornament)\ **Post date:** [October 24, 2014, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/31 "2014-10-24T15:55:27Z")
Jesus H. Christ. If anyone asks, the H is short for Hypotenuse. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2014, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/32 "2014-10-25T03:44:33Z")
Pizza Pussy Santa. Because everyone likes one of those things. Hat tip to Dave Attell. ---
**Author:** ![Rick\_Kitchen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rick_kitchen/32/522_2.png) [@Rick\_Kitchen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick_Kitchen)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2014, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/33 "2014-10-25T04:11:52Z")
Fernando Hyde O’Way. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2014, 4:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/34 "2014-10-25T04:53:15Z")
Tempest Peacock. ---
**Author:** ![crypto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b3f665/32.png) [@crypto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/crypto)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2014, 5:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/35 "2014-10-25T05:26:14Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Pizza Pussy Santa. Because everyone likes one of those things. > > Hat tip to Dave Attell. This made me laugh out loud! I love Dave Attell! I think it would depend on how old I was and what I might want to do. For example, if I had dreams of being an ESPN anchor, it would probably help if my name was David Silvergoldbergstein. ---
**Author:** ![glee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/b5a626/32.png) [@glee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/glee)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2014, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/36 "2014-10-25T06:10:35Z")
I think I want an easy name to pronounce - otherwise I’ll waste loads of time explaining and spelling it to officials. > [@Gatopescado](#): > > Bond. James Bond. Definitely. I also like: - John Brown (because I have a memorable song) - Phil Coulson (because I have a flying car!) ---
**Author:** ![Lucky\_13](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lucky_13/32/13209_2.png) [@Lucky\_13](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lucky_13)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2014, 6:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/37 "2014-10-25T06:22:34Z")
I want to name myself the way the Newcomers on _Alien Nation_ did. For now I will stick with Helena Handbasket. ---
**Author:** ![Penfeather](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penfeather/32/384_2.png) [@Penfeather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Penfeather)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2014, 7:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/38 "2014-10-25T07:46:24Z")
Or if I was a woman, Scarlet Billows. ---
**Author:** ![Apocalypso](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Apocalypso](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Apocalypso)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2014, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/39 "2014-10-25T14:47:29Z")
**Homer Simpson**. A common American name that will allow me to blend in with the crowd… ---
**Author:** ![Onomatopoeia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/onomatopoeia/32/4145_2.png) [@Onomatopoeia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Onomatopoeia)\ **Post date:** [October 25, 2014, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256/40 "2014-10-25T15:00:18Z")
Fritzie Litzie Lullabee Boone. I have always loved that name. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/give-yourself-a-new-name/702256.md?page=3)