# Given Names -- What were they thinking?
**URL:** https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
**Created:** [April 14, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759 "2012-04-14T14:32:11Z")
**Posts on this page:** 20
**Page:** 1
### Author:  [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 2:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/1 "2012-04-14T14:32:11Z")
I know it’s the parents’ (or maybe the agent’s) fault for these things happening, but how would you like to be strapped with a name like [Hilaria?](http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/jaunt/alec-baldwin-fiancee-hilaria-thomas-pack-pda-rome-230014454.html) Just yesterday I was trying to think of a way to start a thread where we could point at some misfires in the naming department, with my choice being Secretia, but decided it might be too tacky. But today’s headline brought the idea back.
What are some questionable names you have either encountered for real or have imagined for somebody you don’t particularly admire?
Fallopia
Equestria
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### Author:  [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 2:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/2 "2012-04-14T14:39:33Z")
Aleander.
Yes, that’s right.
Aleander. For a boy. Encountered for real.
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### Author:  [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/3 "2012-04-14T14:41:14Z")
I was just reminded yesterday that Nicole Richie named her son Sparrow. Yeah, he’s not going to get his ass kicked on a daily basis with that, nosiree.
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### Author:  [@running\_coach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/running_coach)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/4 "2012-04-14T14:46:12Z")
> [@Alice\_The\_Goon](#):
>
> I was just reminded yesterday that Nicole Richie named her son Sparrow. Yeah, he’s not going to get his ass kicked on a daily basis with that, nosiree.
Except his social group is filled with idiotic names.
Or he could go with the nickname “Jack”.
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### Author:  [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/5 "2012-04-14T14:50:25Z")
One of my patients is named Antwarn.
Really.
I can prove it.
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### Author:  [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/6 "2012-04-14T14:59:51Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#):
>
> One of my patients is named Antwarn.
>
> Really.
>
> I can prove it.
That variation must be one of at least a dozen I have seen (mostly in football players) for Antoine.
I’d be hard-pressed to think of the second most abused spelling, but I am reminded of an apocryphal thing that was most likely a joke:
A first-grade teacher asks a student for his name and he replies “O.Z.” When she asks what O.Z. stands for he says, “Onree Zavier.”
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### Author:  [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/7 "2012-04-14T15:01:42Z")
It’s Antfarm, **Qadgop**. You have a couple of typos on his file.
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### Author:  [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/8 "2012-04-14T15:02:05Z")
A customer of mine’s last name is Berning. His parents bequeathed unto him the name Richard. He goes by Dick. Yup, Dick Berning. Seriously, WTF?
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/9 "2012-04-14T15:06:56Z")
I’m waiting to encounter the following names IRL:
LaQwerty
Hubris
Placenta
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### Author:  [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/10 "2012-04-14T15:14:36Z")
As a side note (as opposed to a spinoff thread) I always enjoy coming up with name combos like:
Phyllis Willis
Doris Morris
Daryl Jarrell
Bob Dobbs
Ben Chen
Kate Tate
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### Author:  [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/11 "2012-04-14T15:17:58Z")
My dad worked with Cdr. Darling.
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### Author:  [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/12 "2012-04-14T15:20:18Z")
A true and real name of a middle school girl- Chimera (pronounced shuh mara)
Then there were the twin brothers, Lavoris and Travoris.
People should check a dictionary before assigning creative names to their children.
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### Author:  [@Terr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terr)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/13 "2012-04-14T15:25:10Z")
Trashanda
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### Author:  [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/14 "2012-04-14T15:28:07Z")
One of the young women in our distribution department has the first name of Youranus.:smack: To be fair, her parents are immigrannts from Guatamala and likely wanted to name her Uranus, which would be bad enough, but holy crap, couldn’t they at least have consulted with someone whose first language was American English?
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### Author:  [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/15 "2012-04-14T15:28:16Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#):
>
> A true and real name of a middle school girl- Chimera (pronounced shuh mara)
> Then there were the twin brothers, Lavoris and Travoris.
> People should check a dictionary before assigning creative names to their children.
Thankfully (we must hope) they skipped over Clitoris! I have often wondered how much thought Cloris Leachman’s parents gave to her name.
By now everybody must have heard of the kid named Shithead (pronounced Shuh-Theed). 😃
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### Author:  [@Roland\_Orzabal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Roland_Orzabal)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/16 "2012-04-14T15:31:42Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#):
>
> One of my patients is named Antwarn.
>
> Really.
>
> I can prove it.
Similarly — and I’ve posted this before — Antoine II.
What’s wrong with that?
It’s pronounced “An-toyn two”. The poor kid will proudly tell you his name is “Antoine Two [Smith]”.
I haven’t asked whether the father has added the requisite “1” to his own moniker.
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### Author:  [@Spiderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spiderman)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/17 "2012-04-14T15:33:04Z")
> [@california\_jobcase](#):
>
> People should check a dictionary before assigning creative names to their children.
They do, & when they can’t find it, they think it’s unique & original & go with it. 😃
Bruce Willis’s kids are Rumer & Scout.
My dad had a patient whose name was pronounced (fem-ah-lee), but with the more common spelling of “female”. Apparently Mom didn’t have a name so the the birth cert said female \_\_\_\_\_; when Mom saw it she said, “Ah fem-ah-lee, that’s pretty, that’ll be her name.” :smack: I swear it’s true!
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### Author:  [@Cicero](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cicero)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/18 "2012-04-14T15:38:11Z")
I was almost called Quentin.
Sad
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### Author:  [@Antigen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Antigen)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/19 "2012-04-14T15:48:56Z")
Oh dear, I’ve got a list. Literally. When my sister-in-law was expecting, I started keeping a list of all the great names I came across at the hospital. Some of my favorites:
[ul]
[li] **Bradier** (I can only assume he was one of triplets, with his siblings\*\* Brady\*\* and **Bradiest** )[/li][li] **Amandla** (Yes, it’s Amanda. With an L. Why??)[/li][li] **Mykle** [/li][li] **Nylona** [/li][li] **Sharnquovia** [/li][li] **Ysea** (Supposed to be Isaiah, maybe?)[/li][li] **Rmanie** (I presume it’s for Armani)[/li][li] **A’Lexus** [/li][/ul]
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### Author:  [@ladyfoxfyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ladyfoxfyre)
#### Post date: [April 14, 2012, 3:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/given-names-what-were-they-thinking/618759/20 "2012-04-14T15:52:17Z")
“The love of your life was a black woman named Shady Nasty?” “It’s Sha-Dynasty!”
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