# Giving a relationship a second go **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 3, 2010, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-a-relationship-a-second-go/527558 "2010-02-03T18:14:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Agent\_Foxtrot](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc29f/32.png) [@Agent\_Foxtrot](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Agent_Foxtrot)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-a-relationship-a-second-go/527558/21 "2010-02-04T20:31:00Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > Dude. What if awesome comes along and you miss it - because you are too busy torturing yourself with ‘it could work’? This is exactly why men have trouble committing. Finally, a woman understands! ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-a-relationship-a-second-go/527558/22 "2010-02-04T21:11:17Z")
I could have pretty much written your OP, except there was a six-year hiatus. We’ve been married for five years and have a kid now. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-a-relationship-a-second-go/527558/23 "2010-02-04T21:15:44Z")
> [@Agent\_Foxtrot](#): > > This is exactly why men have trouble committing. Finally, a woman understands! Well, duh. :dubious: However, here’s the other thing. If you do have that sympatico relationship - that one-to-one ratio of connection - it ain’t going to get any better so bolt that sucker in before you lose it. Cause you know how a loose connection can wreak havoc on your system. :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Eureka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/74df32/32.png) [@Eureka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eureka)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-a-relationship-a-second-go/527558/24 "2010-02-04T21:27:53Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I could have pretty much written your OP, except there was a six-year hiatus. We’ve been married for five years and have a kid now. On the one hand, wow! you are lucky. On the other hand, six years is a long time. Frankly, if there were a six-year hiatus I’d feel better about the OP’s prospects. I mean, six years gives a person a lot of time to mature and change, and grow into the person he or she wants to be. I’m not sure how much time has actually passed for **Incubus** , but I’m not sure it’s enough for a lot of growth on either of their parts. And I think there’s some merit to the suggestions that others have made that they’ve been just separated enough for him to start looking really good to this girl, and once they get back together, she’ll slide into some of her old habits. But maybe not. ---
**Author:** ![Green\_Bean](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/green_bean/32/1760_2.png) [@Green\_Bean](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Green_Bean)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 9:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-a-relationship-a-second-go/527558/25 "2010-02-04T21:43:51Z")
> [@Eureka](#): > > I’m not sure how much time has actually passed for **Incubus** , but I’m not sure it’s enough for a lot of growth on either of their parts. One month. Perhaps 5 weeks. > [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > I could have pretty much written your OP, except there was a six-year hiatus. We’ve been married for five years and have a kid now. And I like my mom’s spinach pie. ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2010, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-a-relationship-a-second-go/527558/26 "2010-02-04T22:10:48Z")
> [@melodyharmonius](#): > > When I moved to Denver, I was newly single and went a little date-crazy for a while. (I finally realized I need to settle down when I had 3 dates in 3 nights with 3 different guys. I had started just calling everyone honey because it was too hard to pick the right name.) Strange I once dated a girl who always called me “sweetie”, and… uh… :eek: :smack: I should have known! ---
**Author:** ![Cat\_Whisperer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cat_whisperer/32/4839_2.png) [@Cat\_Whisperer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cat_Whisperer)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-a-relationship-a-second-go/527558/27 "2010-02-05T03:18:05Z")
So, she was embarrassed to be seen with you, and now she isn’t? Don’t you deserve a woman who is _proud_ of you, not someone who has managed to get over being embarrassed by you? I can relate back to my dating days - I spent three years dating a guy I wasn’t compatible with. Then after we ended our relationship, I met my husband, and if I had known then what a real relationship with someone I’m actually compatible with feels like (how **easy** it is), I would never have wasted those three years trying to force something. Maybe that’s something you just have to learn on your own, though. We can tell you that it sounds like you two are not compatible enough to make a go of it, but you don’t have a comparison yet with someone truly compatible with you. ---
**Author:** ![melodyharmonius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/melodyharmonius/32/21310_2.png) [@melodyharmonius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/melodyharmonius)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2010, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-a-relationship-a-second-go/527558/28 "2010-02-05T13:57:55Z")
> [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](#): > > Strange I once dated a girl who always called me “sweetie”, and… uh… :eek: > > :smack: I should have known! Well, I probably shouldn’t also tell you that I gave all the guys I dated nicknames - it was a great short hand for my bff so I wouldn’t have to re-explain who “Scott” or “Drew” were. The nicknames were usually things like Bra Boy, Nude Dude, Reek Geek, Taxi Man, Old Dude, Bus Driver, etc . . . > [@Cat\_Whisperer](#): > > I can relate back to my dating days - I spent three years dating a guy I wasn’t compatible with. Then after we ended our relationship, I met my husband, and if I had known then what a real relationship with someone I’m actually compatible with feels like (how **easy** it is), I would never have wasted those three years trying to force something. This. Oh this exactly. You said it so nicely Cat - what I was trying to say. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/giving-a-relationship-a-second-go/527558.md?page=1)