Okay, look, if a homeless guys says to me, “Hey, do you think I should quit drinking? Would that help me get off the streets?” I would say yes. But that is a seriously oversimplified situation, and just the fact that said homeless person is capable of coherently asking means that they aren’t utterly riddled with the mental delusions so many homeless suffer from. In a case like that, the self medication that alcohol provides may be the only thing keeping them functioning on any level at all. And if you think getting real mental help on the streets of America is easy (or even, in most cases, possible) well, I have some swampland to sell you.
You didn’t say he was asking for advice on the best way to achieve non-homelessness. You just said “asking for advice” and then posed a question regarding his drinking habits.
I mean, let’s say he has a mental illness that is being “medicated” by his drinking. If I recommend him to stop drinking, I would thereby be (unknowingly) recommending that he simply stop his medication. Stop his medication with no resources at his disposal to be an alternative (and more appropriate) source of treatment. And that is just one example of why I feel I would be un-equipped to give advice.
What difference would that make? When you see a person in trouble, and he asks for advice, why wouldn’t you give him advice that would help him get out of trouble instead of staying in trouble?
ETA: Liquor is not a medication, and no physician would consider it to be one. The idea that they are “self medicating” is ignorant at best, and vey dangerous at worst. Give me the name of one reputable doctor who would advise a homeless person to keep drinking in order to “self medicate”.
What you just described there is the very definition of substance abuse. In about a third of cases, it was substance abuse that caused the homelessness. Many of those individuals had well paying jobs and family support structures, that they lost as a result of their addiction.
Following treatment, many are able to get and hold a job, until something triggers them to fall off the wagon and end up homeless again.
The expression you used, “ease my suffering for a little while” is pretty much exactly what goes through their head before the next drink/hit. Things get bad, and they need something to help them cope. And once things are bad, they need that substance constantly. Cleaning up and getting sober is the pivot point.
In addition to that, most shelters have had to adopt zero tolerance approaches to substance use, and as a result many of the homeless that need shelters the most have been kicked out as a result of their dependence. If someone is sleeping outside on a cold night there is a good chance it’s because he/she was kicked out of a shelter, as opposed to a lack of beds (which is also a problem).
So the mentality you expressed is exactly opposite of what they need. Drugs and alcohol are the cause of suffering, not the solution.
Just to drive the point home, drug and alcohol abuse is not a solution to anything, regardless of past events. Consider this the one and only area where you have carte blanche to swoop in. Sobering up is the ONLY way things will get better, nothing else matters until that is dealt with.
NO ONE thinks booze is the right answer to mental illness, but sometimes it does help, and in a case where it comes down to “drinking and getting some relief” vs. “quitting drinking and going absolutely bonkers” i think we can all agree it is the lesser of two evils. The best thing is, of course, that the person get real medical help. But there’s no real medical help available!
It’s like saying, “Is drinking whiskey the best way to anesthetize for dental surgery?” No! Of course not! It makes you bleed more, it doesn’t do a whole hell of a lot for pain, etc. But if it’s whiskey or nuthin’, well, pass the bottle…
So the mentality you expressed is exactly opposite of what they need. Drugs and alcohol are the cause of suffering, not the solution./QUOTE]
I agree that the homeless need help, and that drinking is not the solution. I agree it is often the cause. I wish there were more, better funded programs to help. i donate to these causes.
But IF SOMEONE ISN’T READY TO GET SOBER, THEY WON’T. Isn’t that something we all know? My refusing to give them change doesn’t help. My advice doesn’t help. Nothing will work until they decide to get sober.
True, but you giving them cash enables them, did you realize that? The situations I described, when substance abuse causes homelessness, the individual not only loses their job but also their family support structure. There is usually a long period where family and friends try to help, in the ways you describe, using the exact expressions you used.
The decision to get sober doesn’t happen until rock bottom, and it’s amazing how close people can get without actually being at the bottom. The few dollars you drop in their cup could literally be used to get some aerosol for one more hit. Cutting them off may be the only thing that turns them around. Anything you do to help them get stoned again is prolonging their misery, and may get them kicked out of their shelter. It sounds harsh, but making things worse now is more likely to help them make the right decision, as opposed to easing their suffering for one more day, so that they can continue to suffer.
I get what you’re trying to say, and I know you mean well, but you’re not the first nor the last person an addict will screw over for another hit.
Just to drive this point home: No, it never helps, ever. There are no sometimes. Like I said before, you are actually describing the rationalization used by addicts to continue their addiction. They see it as an anesthesia for when things hurt emotionally because they have no other coping mechanisms. They know it’s not a solution, they know it’s not right. But to them, the sometimes just so happens to be right now.
Such an ironically painful combination of username and subject matter.
If someone seriously asked for advice, I would help them find services to the best of my ability. I would take them to an internet cafe and together we could look for options that are free of charge that might help to battle addiction, get rid of debt, sort out housing problems, find a job, locate family, whatever it takes.
Nobody has ever asked me for advice. They have asked for cash. Not a granola bar.
If I have cash in my pocket and another person doesn’t, why would I keep that pound coin, that means so little to me, all to myself? Everyone gets to make their own bad choices, and if they want my help and advice their welcome to and if they want a pound to get through the night they are also welcome to it. Rock bottom will come, and then things might change (or not).
In Brazil, I used to hand out little notes with the number for child services written on it, along with the few coins I would give kids. Sometimes we would talk a little about going to school, sometimes a little more in-depth. I know they’d never call. But maybe one…?
I am very close to a schizophrenic person and I know from long personal experience that alcohol lessens the voices. I will look for cites (I know they exist) but I cannot right now. This is what I am talking about.
And, no, there isn’t medical help available. Trust me on this. Maybe for some people, in some places. But for a whole shitload of people, you are just stuck. In cases like these, alcohol IS the lesser of two evils, whether you like it or not. Our national institutions for dealing with the mentally ill either do not exist, or are so severely underfunded they might as well not exist.
And, I’m sorry, but I do not feel that tossing a buck to a homeless guy is “being screwed over for another hit.” I know where it’s going, and I’m allowing him to make his own decisions, as an adult; the same as I did when I gave him the money. Other don’t give to the homeless, or help in other ways, and I respect that. But this idea that withholding my change is going to lead to his sobriety is naive wishful thinking.
I would love to see more. Got anything in Memphis? Or Mississippi? I know you don’t because I live here, and I’ve spent many years with this problem.
Also, what the hell does this mean?
Elizabeth is my name, and I think the implication that I am somehow a drunk is uncalled for and frankly disgusting. I have spent the last 15 years dealing with a mentally ill alcoholic, I know a lot from personal experience, but not because I am a drunk making excuses.
I will now leave this thread to the self righteous. Anything else I would say should go in The Pit.
Given the fact a homeless alcoholic may have developed a seriously physical dependency if a homeless person asked me if he should stop drinking tomorrow I wouldn’t answer directly but would instead tell him a number he could call to get into a state detox facility.
I’m not a doctor and I wouldn’t give a person medical advice on the street, and for someone with a serious physical dependence on alcohol, that is wanting to kick the habit–the person they need is a doctor not a stern word of advice about drying out. Drying out for such a person requires medical attention and shouldn’t be advised to anyone in such a position, give them some resources to get the attention to do it right, but don’t just tell him to stop drinking.
Back on topic, in response to others in this thread it’s annoying, arrogant, and more than a little obnoxious to assume you’re going to rescue somebody from the streets with pearls of wisdom or whatever happy horseshit you want to do to make yourself feel good. The reality is that most people living on the streets are going to die there eventually. It’s a harsh, miserable, and sometimes brutal existence. If you can make things suck a little less for one person for just a little while…a few hours with a full belly, or a short time with a pleasant buzz, or something else that gives a small bit of comfort then you’ve done a good deed.
No you aren’t going to win “man of the year” awards. Odds are good no one will ever know what you’ve done. And that’s ok. The point is to do something nice for another human being, not to put yourself over as some morally superior jackass with all the answers nobody ever asked for.
I keep Nutrigrain Bars (soft cereal bars w/ fruit filling) or fig newtons in my car/purse. If I pull up at a light and there’s someone panhandling there I’ll offer them one; they always say yes, they usually open and eat it right away. (I don’t stare but I look in my rear-view to make sure they get out of traffic alright.) I don’t spend much time in areas where one would typically run into panhandlers on the street.
I do the same for LDS missionaries who come to my house; ‘I’m not interested but here’s a snack for later if you need it.’
I know for a fact others have made the same comment to you at least once, and I find it unlikely you weren’t made aware of who Miss Elizabeth was more than that since 2005.
You might want to reconsider who is being self righteous on your way out.
